to make DD invite the boys?

[purpledragonfruit]

DD's 11th birthday is in 2 weeks and we're sorting out a party - a film evening and food/cake at home. There are only 10 kids in her class - 7 girls and 3 boys. She only wants to invite the girls, plus 3 girls from other classes. She is currently in a sulk because I told her she should invite the boys too.

My reasons for this are: there are only 3 boys so they hardly get to any parties therefore it would be a kind thing to to, and she has been to one of the boys' birthdays already but to invite him but not the other 2 is not on.

She maintains that she doesn't want them and they won't want to come either.

Should I insist?

Nice idea but I'm not having all the girls overnight, sorry! There's a reason why parties last 2-3 hours!

We are not in UK. Evening here.

Poor little left out chaps

Playing out with their friends, footie, cricket, biking, climbing trees etc etc

I wouldn't worry!

Actually I couldn't tell the boys to go home and the girls stay on anyway.

Seems you have disrupted what she wanted from a party to please one pushy mother who wants her boy involved when he probably would prefer to be home on his xbox. She has made the decision to please you otherwise it wouldn't have been all girls in the first place poor thing.

This will so come back to bite you in the ass, I'm sensing at 15..... "well mum you know you said I could have that party/sleepover and you would pop out to the cinema to give us some privacy? Remember that time you told me I HAD to invite boys?"

Oh yes many things will come back to bite me.

I think you have done the right thing, OP, and you and your daughter sound lovely. Quite surprised at everyone's reactions on here!

She hasn't done it to 'Do the right thing' wolves, she's done it to save face and keep one Mother happy. If you think that's OK then I'm surprised at your reaction!

tbh I am quite surprised too and wonder if I would get the same reactions if I posted on a different day?

Nothing like eating humble pie, eh?

Surprised really ! an 11 year old girl wants a party and wants to invite her friends and you say she should invite people she does not actively want there ! I am not surprised she is 11 not 3.

I second what wolves said, you and your DD sound lovely, I too am quite shocked at some of the reactions on here.

purple you're DD has made the right decision :)

I don't think she's done it to save face, Maargarita, I think she's done it because excluding 3 children from a party isn't very nice. I think you either invite less than half the class, or all the class. Usually inviting just girls or just boys is fine, but not when there are so few of one sex.

But then I spent a long time in very male-dominated environments and was happy I got invited along to things!

Shocked?

You need to get out more!

imnotmymum - but the DD didn't suggest just inviting her friends, but inviting 'all' the girls, not all of whom are her close friends. If she'd just invited her closest friends (say 2 or 3) then it wouldn't have been an issue.

As I've said upfred, yes, totally agree ith all that if she was five.

She's eleven, the dynamics are changed.

Hurrah the other mums will like you and you will be popular

Your dd sounds very sweet - it's kind of her to do this for you. I do feel sorry for her though

I don't think she would do it just to please me. She can stand her ground and make a big fuss if she thinks it's important! I guess she wasn't that bothered in the end, and I agree she thinks it's the nice thing to do. Now let's see if they come.

p.s. purple, hope the party is lovely - come back and tell us how it went!
unless one of the boys does something unspeakable and ruins the party

You don't have boys, do you, wolves?

Thanks!

I think it will be fine. We were going to have a karaoke party then she changed her mind and I think this will be easier!

Er....the most like candidate for something unspeakable will be dd's brother. I love him dearly but he is way more of a handful than the boys she's inviting.

All the girls from the other classes as she is inviting some from other classes ? but surely if we are doing the right thing then she should invite all the boys.

likely

sorry, typing too fast

No, she shouldn't. Don't be silly.