To think that adults should not pass on fears to children? <dog related>

[buttonmoon78]

Yesterday I took ds1&2 to the local park. Ds1 climbed on the frame, ds2 was in buggy with me sat on a bench. Dog (collie) sat next to me.

There was another mum in the fenced area (for younger children) whose dd was playing on the other frame. When the mum saw us she said loudly 'come on dd - we have to go. That dog's going to bite you'. Cue wailing from dd

I do understand that people are frightened of things I am not and I understand that dogs can be frightening - I am frightened of several dogs I see daily. I am frightened of spiders (really frightened - I am allergic to the venom) but I try really hard not to let the dcs know that. And if that spider was behaving very calmly, behind a suitably spider-sized fence I certainly would not be telling my dcs that it was going to bite them.

This is not a 'dogs are marvellous' rant although mine is nor an 'everyone should love my dog because he's soppy' thread although he is but AIBU to wonder why people don't try harder to show their children a balanced view of the world?

Whatever our fears, shouldn't we try to put them aside to allow our dcs to discover for themselves what they fear and what they don't?

YANBU. The other mum's comment to her daughter is just bizarre.

Yanbu.

I tell mine (5 & 3) that dogs are lovely but they can only pet them if the owner and I say so. DD's still scared of them though .

Yanbu but I would say yabu if you have the dog within the fenced area IMHO. (as someone who is scared of dogs)

YANBU to think the other mum was being way OTT to tell her DD that the dog will bite her and distress the child. It's not always easy not to pass on fears though, I am struggling with that myself, I am scared of dogs after being bitten as a child and if one comes near me off the lead I can't help but tense up, I have been known to cross the road to the pavement on the other side to avoid a dog and I know that DD will eventually notice this behaviour, I wish I could react differently but I just don't have the nerve to go anywhere near an unrestrained dog.

Not within fenced area buggy. That would BVU.

Meglet you can borrow our dog if you like. He's cured both next door neighbours of their dog fears. One was 4, the other 7.

I'm glad it's not just me!

You are NBU (mostly).

I am very frightened of big dogs. With good reason - I was attacked as a child. I have tried hard not to pass this on to my children and have even patted 'friendly' dogs and let them lick my hand in order to demonstrate to my kids that nice dogs are ok. Despite my best efforts my wee girl is nervous of big dogs which aren't on leads.

I do feel that dogs should be near play equipment or off leads near children though.

I'm sure your dog is lovely but the lady in the park may have had good reason for her fear of dogs.

I struggle too with my spider fear. And as for mozzies - don't even get me started. My heart rate is rising just thinking about them

I try not to show it though!

^ shouldn't of course

Yanbu

I'm scared of all dogs but was at a friends house today with my DD, 11 months, and spent ages playing with her with the dog for the very reason that I want her not to be afraid as I am

TooMany I def agree - she may well have had a good reason, like my spider fear. And yes - dogs should be on leads near children. Both children and dogs can be unpredictable and therefore not always a great combination.

YANBU. Some people are selfish, and the parents that do this care more about themselves than they do about their children. Children need to be taught how to be safe around dogs, its a parents job to do that.

And you can't put a child on a lead

yanbu.

Last week I was on a bus when a woman got on with her dd who was blatantly afraid of dogs. She refused to walk past my guide dog who was lying obediently on the floor, tucked under seat as far in as I could get him, doing no harm. In fairness to the mother, she tried to get her to walk past but she wouldn't. So the bus driver took it upon himself to tell me to "move that dog!!!" I pretended not to hear him, and the woman ended up getting in the back door with her dd.

I do get that some people are afraid of dogs, but whether they like it or not dogs are a part of every day life. And my guide dog is allowed even within the fenced areas of the park, and if the dog is under control then it's up to the person who is afraid to deal with it...

That sounds a bit rubbish wannaBe. I'm your other worst nightmare - I have 4dcs all of whom would want to distract your dog from doing his job by petting him at length

Actually the older two are old enough not to now, and I'm working on dc3. #4 however... sorry!

Oh something similar happened to me once. Woman in park with stubborn toddler. As I passed with dog she said "if you don't behave yourself that dog will come and bite you"! Child looked alarmed and promptly did what he was told. Even in my pre-child days I did think this was a stupid thing to say. Maybe the woman was looking for an excuse to leave and said a really thoughtless remark (does'nt make it right) and did'nt really think your dog was a hound of hell?
Brother in law is a policeman and he gets adults using similar tactics all the time.

What that he'll bite them redpanda?

Spiders can climb fences.

Lol! One parent did actually say that policeman will smack you! The rest just say he will arrest them.
Even though we have a dog my DD is terrified of other dogs. This may hold her back in the her chosen career as a vet

YANBU but I am scared of dogs that look like pit bulls/rottweilers and I cross the road every time I encounter one. I am not bothered about other dogs.

YANBU , but a lot of adults aren't grown up enough to avoid doing so. The mother was possibly savaged by a lap dog bitten as a child and encouraged to live in mortal fear of it happening every time a dog is within view. Or maybe someone in her life said the same to her and she can't see passed their vemon fear.

Alternatively she could have had no such experience, but was raised by my ILs

I had hypnotherapy soon after my son was born for my crippling arachnophobia as I didn't want to pass it onto him the same way that I got it from my mum. It worked & whilst I will never have a tarantula as a pet, I don't turn into a gibbering wreck when I see one.

Two babies in the last week have been killed by the family pet dog. Dogs are domesticated wild animals.

YANBU

I am trying to make sure my DDs don't inherit my fear of dogs.

It's hard though, because I'm not confident of what to teach them so that they are safe and confident around them because I tend to freeze and freak out a bit when dogs are aggressive or barky.

DD1 (4) is going through a stage recently of being more nervous about things than she used to, and she's no longer as relaxed around dogs as she used to be.

DD2 (2) ADORES dogs. She runs around after them shouting "come back here" :o I have to watch her like a hawk because she might hurt a dog without meaning to.

YANBU.

We've worked hard to show Ds that dogs aren't, but our good work has been undone by:

1. prick who let his dog (off the lead) run over to 2 yr old ds and jump all over him.

1. the bloke behind us who has 2 dogs which constantly set up a volley of barking and growling when we go into our back garden or walk down the alley way. Ds now thinks that all hedges/walls have dogs just waiting for him.