AIBU advice needed about HORRIBLE teacher?

[MrsShitty]

on behalf of my sister who is very upset. Her son is a very good year three child...very well behaved and has been excelling at school, on the g&t register and loves school...his reports are always that he is a good and kind boy, often voted as class rep etc.

This term his class have been taught by 2 teachers both of whom teach year 4...they were sort of tasters for nexyt year to get the DC used to their new teachers.

Yesterday my nephew came home and was very upset. He said that Miss T had screamed in his face...my nephew is almost deaf in one ear due to problems from birth and has had both eardrums burst in the past and this woman screamed so loud his ear was hurt...he cried in pain.

She screamed because my nephew had been going for a pencil and had tripped over another childs leg....she accused my nephew of kicking the other boy and would not listen when my nephew AND the other boy tried to explain he had tripped. INstead she yelled repeatedly as loud as she could in his face that she would not be talked back to and then she told him to sit on the carpet and removed his golden time...she threw his book at him.

My hephew says she has also shouted at him for other minor things such as dropping his book once. She also banged the chair of a little girl up and down with the child still sitting in it....whilst shouting "Go to the toilet then!" and the little girl was crying.

My sister says her normally happy boy has been in tears and could not sleep for three nights until all this came out last night. He is afraid of this woman and his poor ear is still hurting.

My sister has made an appointment to see the HT tonight she does not want to speak to the teacher....she feels she has nothing to say to the woman. I must add that her son is very sensible and very truthful he would not lie....the teacher is new and this is her first job.

What measures should my sister ask to take place? What should the outcome be? And who should she write to in the event that she is still not happy after the meeting? The LEA or board of governers? Thank you. I am very upset about my nephew who has had multiple operations on his ears and only has 30% hearing in the one this woman hurt.

Different - I had the head approach me as I came to collect my child, as the incident had been witnessed by other adults who were the ones who told me. (Other teachers fwiw who removed said teacher's hands from around my sons neck)

Are you saying those adults shouldn't be believed? And only the child?

Perhaps not. Anyway, I'll bow out now because this is rather pointless. As usual AIBU is seen as a playground with no rules where people all just pile in with no thought for the OP.

I am sorry that your dc has had that experience, in all fairness I would think that would make you feel more supportive of the OP, having been there. Obviously not.

No, because the OP wasn't there, doesn't know, doesn't have an independent adult witness, wasn't at the school meeting ... my situation was different. The teacher concerned was charged with assault immediately, the police had already been called by the time I got there, and he never ever taught again.

So just because that happened to my child I have to believe every fairy story and exaggeration that any of my children ever come home with?

I don't think so.

*Do you know what's really strange?

Another poster has put a situation with their child, where the child has come home all upset and the OP here has said that that person should go and speak to the teacher first.

Double standards.

And I know it's bad form to link from one post to another but I think it's relevant.*

hathorkickass

I assume that wasn't directed at me as I actually said that I didn't approach the teacher in my case but went to deputy head teacher. I believe sometimes it is right to go to someone else - not in an accusatory fashion but more to get an impartial view on events

No not you Stoatie - the OP of this thread.

My darling sister was bullied by a teacher - she used to jab her in the chest and tell her she was too thick to do the work the rest of the class was doing. My parents didn't find out for ages. There really are some fucking awful people out there, masquerading as teachers. Nasty, shitty behaviour does happen. I am a former teacher and although the majority of my colleagues have been fantastic, I have also come into contact with some people that I wouldn't trust to water my plants, let alone educate my children.

I think the OP's sister was right to go to the head and as the head has confirmed other complaints, then it appears there is a case for this 'teacher' to answer.

And if the head teacher has indeed commented on another child and other complaints that is unprofessional in the extreme and the head should be reprimanded.

karma

whether you like it or not the teacher is the teacher not 'teacher'
I am sure that the head will investigate, but we only have third party information to go on, and that is sketchy as best.

I stand by my 'teacher'. She is only a proper teacher, if she is capable. Otherwise she is just someone standing in front of a class. (All hat and no cattle, is a phrase from Texas, that springs to mind). It takes more than the possession of a PGCE to make a teacher.

And you're going to judge that professionally qualified and registered with the GTC on third hand info on a parenting forum without giving them a chance to answer the accusations against them?

Karma. You have no more notion than the rest of us (op included) what "capabilities" this teacher possesses!!
Nobody has as yet established any facts whatsoever, you're being a little bit judgemental there, don't you think?

I can understand why the OP's sister didn't want to speak to the teacher concerned. Presumably she felt angry and upset, and lacked confidence in the teacher's ability to respond appropriately. It was a serious allegation that the boy made and, whatever did or did not happen, it needed proper investigation from a someone "higher up."

However, the boy's mother did NOT have "the facts," the teacher is not necessarily an utter bitch and we cannot be sure that it all happened as the boy said. Hence the need for people to hold fire with bandying words such as "assault" around until the circumstances have been properly verified.

I had a child say to me once that another teacher had "hit Cameron." Knowing the teacher concerned and knowing Cameron I thought it highly unlikely. Turned out that the teacher had leant across the table to pick up a book and had lightly (and accidentally) brushed Cameron's ear with her elbow. This was verified by all the other children on the table, apart from the known character lad who reported it as "hitting."

So, "karma* you've judged the teacher as not being one, and you don't know the facts of the case.

Can't you see the silliness there? You cite your former status as a teacher as if it lent some kind of weight to your views, then shoot yourself in the foot by assigning blame ahead of the facts. Way to go ex-teach. Is that the way you would have dealt with matters in your teaching life?

I'm glad you're a former teacher, because I wouldn't want someone who judges before seeing the evidence in front of a class.

Well karma has every right to have an opinion about the teacher and the situation given what the OP has posted, Just as you all seem have come to the conclusion that the little boy must have either made it up or exaggerated in some way. Oh and that the OP is lying.

There are horrid teachers out there but there will always be someone on MN to defend them.

I think the OP went off hysterically from the very first post - far too much "he's so intelligent and wouldn't lie" - I smelled a "methinks the lady doth protest too much".

But I'm a cynical old bat.

There are horrid teachers out there but there will always be someone on MN to defend them.

I think this would be more accurately phrased as "There are horrible teachers out there, but there are also decent men and women who many Mumsnetters would happily tar with the same brush were it not for those few posters who defend the unconvicted against unsubstatiated accusations in their stead".

As someone who has been a teacher I would have thought that you would be more knowledgeable about the goings on in a classroom and what children are capable of saying to get out of trouble.

but then that would be part of being a teacher and not a 'teacher'.

You see, purple we don't all think the child has lied. Read the thread FFS.
Don't generalise. It makes your argument weak. D- for effort.

MN defends horrid teachers? Where? Has this teacher been horrid? No proof yet.

I don't think the child has out and out lied - but I do think there's a fair chance that it's all in the interpretation - threw a book vs not very gently pushed a book at him for example.

Goodness echt, I think you need to calm down a bit. Maybe get some fresh air or something?

Funny how the OP has been called hysterical. :o

We are talking about a primary school here. I do not think it is appropriate to get in a child's face and shout, or to be physically domineering with a child.

I must admit, that yes, I am posting on the assumption that what the OP has said is true - it does appear that there are issues with the teacher if there has already been another complaint about her. The head teacher seems to have quite comprehensively questioned the child wrt what happened and it would be apparent if the story deviated from what the child initially said. So I think the child is probably more right than wrong.

That said, I do accept that children's perceptions are not always 100% accurate. But if the child is coming home upset and with the clear sense of being shouted at, then I think that's indicative of a problem with the teacher's ability to manage the class.

I know that when I was an NQT, I was not the best teacher. I had the qualifications and the subject knowledge, so possessed the bones of it, but had not mastered all the complexities involved in being good at teaching. For some people that comes with time - for others, they shouldn't be in a classroom because they never become good teachers.

But Karma the OP wasn't in the meeting with the head.

She only has the report from her sister to go on.

Why shouldn't she believe her sister?

How some folk do rush to discount a rational response by saying the poster has been emotional. Look at your phrasing; it's all about discounting the poster rather than engaging with the arguments.

Tsk tsk.

Not saying she shouldn't believe her, but unless she was there she won't know what was said, nor indeed the tone with which it was said.

I could say I met an acquaintance and she told me to fuck off, and it'd all be in how she said it, whether she was joking or not.