AIBU advice needed about HORRIBLE teacher?

[MrsShitty]

on behalf of my sister who is very upset. Her son is a very good year three child...very well behaved and has been excelling at school, on the g&t register and loves school...his reports are always that he is a good and kind boy, often voted as class rep etc.

This term his class have been taught by 2 teachers both of whom teach year 4...they were sort of tasters for nexyt year to get the DC used to their new teachers.

Yesterday my nephew came home and was very upset. He said that Miss T had screamed in his face...my nephew is almost deaf in one ear due to problems from birth and has had both eardrums burst in the past and this woman screamed so loud his ear was hurt...he cried in pain.

She screamed because my nephew had been going for a pencil and had tripped over another childs leg....she accused my nephew of kicking the other boy and would not listen when my nephew AND the other boy tried to explain he had tripped. INstead she yelled repeatedly as loud as she could in his face that she would not be talked back to and then she told him to sit on the carpet and removed his golden time...she threw his book at him.

My hephew says she has also shouted at him for other minor things such as dropping his book once. She also banged the chair of a little girl up and down with the child still sitting in it....whilst shouting "Go to the toilet then!" and the little girl was crying.

My sister says her normally happy boy has been in tears and could not sleep for three nights until all this came out last night. He is afraid of this woman and his poor ear is still hurting.

My sister has made an appointment to see the HT tonight she does not want to speak to the teacher....she feels she has nothing to say to the woman. I must add that her son is very sensible and very truthful he would not lie....the teacher is new and this is her first job.

What measures should my sister ask to take place? What should the outcome be? And who should she write to in the event that she is still not happy after the meeting? The LEA or board of governers? Thank you. I am very upset about my nephew who has had multiple operations on his ears and only has 30% hearing in the one this woman hurt.

Sorry, mrsShitty, but your sister saying all teachers are informed does not mean they were. I'm not excusing the teacher, just saying that a school's guarantee that a teacher is told something is NOT a guarantee.

No ones saying she should doubt him.
But he is 8 and might of dramatized it a bit.
That's one hell of a list of stuff there and i find it hard to believe it all happened like that.

Going in all guns blazing and calling for a lynch mob will do no good, you need to hear both sides to.

Then if it is true you can deal with it.

Even if he had no ear problem, I don't think teachers should shout unless there is imminent danger, a huge amount of background noise, or a need for the voice to carry across eg a playing field.

I've also posted on your other thread.

I have posted twice because I am upset offcer maryz

Thank you everyone for your help with this...my sister wont speak to the teacher as she feels she knows the facts. SHe has informed the HT that the meeting tonight is about an incident with said teacher so the HT wll probably speak to her in advance and may even have her there this evening.

We are the only defence of our DC when they're small and in my opinion my sister is doing what is right.

My 9yr old accuses me of shouting at him when I've merely used a very stern look and a firm voice.

Knowing he is hard of hearing is one thing. Knowing his ears are painful and sensitive and easily damaged is another thing altogether. It would not necessarily be obvious unless it had been pointed out to her.

Even if she did physically cause him pain by shouting you'd have a bloody hard job trying to make that stand up in court as an assault charge. It could so easily be accidental/unintentional. I am not defending the teacher, I am merely saying don't go jumping to conclusions.

If the teacher wasn't aware, then I would be questioning how good the school was anyway tbh.

I think you're Sister's being quite childish about the whole thing to be honest.

Let's hope the teacher's mature enough to want to speak to her about it.

So why post if you were completely hell-bent on your judgement?

A child in my class once told his mother that I keep a gun in my desk. (not true BTW).

Because I wanted to know who best to complain to other than the HT pets

worra mine too even though I rarely shout - I am not a shout person and if anything speak very calmly and quietly when cross.

valium I think they find that more scary than shouting

shouty

More than likely worra

I also doubt very much a teacher screamed repeatedly and as loudly as she could - that is some serious noise! I imagine she'd have half the school at her door in about 5 seconds flat asking what was wrong.

valium he said she screamed "DONT YOU ANSWER ME BACK" over and over again although he had interjected only twice...he is a bright boy...he wasn;t making it up. He said her face was red and she put her face right by his and shoted the same words over and over a number of times untll he eventualy cried. She then pushed him towards the carpet and slapped his book at him. She threw it and it landed on his legs. The utter bitch. The same day, she ignored a child who wanted the toilet and when she asked again, she held the childs chair and banged it up and down in an effort to get the child to rise and shouted GO ON THEN! GO TO THE TOILET over and over.

She sounds unhinged.

Your sister may well need to listen to what the teacher has to say, just because (especially when a child is already upset), they can misinterpret things. I was once accused by a parent of throwing a book at a child - I was carrying a pile of maths books, and the top few slipped and landed on their desk.

My mum is a head teacher and I literally grew up waiting and traipsing around hr various schools. She always gets frustrated when a parent goes straight to her, and requests them speak to the teacher first -you'd be amazed at how many things get scrambled in translation and can be sorted fairly easily. I am not saying you should doubt your nephew especially regarding the ears, but is it possible that she didn't speak very loudly to hurt him, that she caught out of the corner of her eye the trip incident and thought the boys were covering for each other, that the book was tossed within a few metres of your nephew. It is possible theatre is a reasonable explanation at the beginning of term many teachers feel the need to stamp there authority as it were so they can then relax once the boundaries are set.
Ask other parents if they have concerns?
Your nephews account sounds like a upset boy trying to make sense to things tbh. However if the dr says the ear is damaged then that's very serious, likewise I would also like your sister be complaining that the issue with noise is very serious and must be remembered at all times. If the ear is damaged and your sister wants to take this further she should put her complaint in writing to the governors, informing the head of her doing so. She should not though rule out the possibility of a reasonable explanation in my view.
Best Of luck and I hope your nephew is feeling better.

Blimey, MrsShitty, at what age does your sister stop with the 'my child says something happened, so it must have happened exactly the way he says it did' attitude?

Could it simply be a case of this child, who up to now has always been 'very good .... very well behaved .... excelling at school, on the g&t register .... a good and kind boy, often voted as class rep etc' maybe being told off that day, and it has evolved into the end of life as we know it for him?

When mine were that age, they had infant school until the end of year 3, and middle school from year 4 onwards, and there was quite a bit of difference in expectations of how they would behave when they went into middle school.

The term before middle school was a period of transition, and one of mine coped with it far better than the other (twins). Could it possibly be that your DN is realising that year 4 might be a bit tougher and this has become a much bigger issue for him than it might be for some others?

A word with the teacher along the lines of 'DN was really upset earlier this week, has he got the wrong end of the stick?' might be better than going in guns blazing to the HT?

She threw the book or slapped the book at him? Pushed him towards the carpet or hand on back an firmly guided him? There's a big difference.

I think you need to calm down, and let your sister deal with it and hopefully she is calmer about it than you appear to be. She needs to talk to the teacher first and take it from there.

I would not be surprised if the ear is damaged Mama the drum got burst in the winted again when a blast of wind blew down it. He has the same pain as that day.

I know that some things can be misunderstood by kids...but really this is oo specific.

I'd be very surprised if his ear drum burst soley because she shouted.

Mm, I think there's a lot of anger in your posts OP, and, whilst I understand that you feel angry, I think you are running the risk of clouding the issue with your anger on here.

oh i see you've posted this twice

and had the same responses.