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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep my son home from school trips

321 replies

victoria48 · 26/04/2012 21:18

My son is in reception and so far they have had 2 school trips with a 3rd coming up soon. Each one has been a 100 mile round trip on a coach on the motorway. I have asked each time if I can go along as a helper and have been turned down each time. I gave my son a choice of going on the trips and he said he didn't want to go. I know I could have easily pursuaded him but chose not to as I didn't think the trips were a good idea myself. The third one is coming up and I'm being pressured by his teacher to send him. Am I being unreasonable to keep him home?

OP posts:

Sirzy · 26/04/2012 23:54

Velma. 24 years later I can still remember where I went on my trip in reception, whose group I was in and who my partner was. I even remember being excited because I was allowed some fruit pastels for on the coach!

BeauNash · 26/04/2012 23:56

I thought I was going to say YABU, but actually, 50 miles each way to see those things? Is there really nothing to visit within 10-15 miles of school. My DD would get travel sick too, so YANBU.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 26/04/2012 23:56

I can remember my very first school trip to a farm, I got to feed the lamb from a bole and the bloody thing nearly ripped it out of my hands. It was fab, I was in nursery, 3 years old.

BeauNash · 26/04/2012 23:59

My DD went to visit a farm today with her nursery class. She got to feed the lambs and make a bed for the piglets.

wendythetrampwhowasborntorun · 27/04/2012 00:08

OP, YA N BU. The key here is your DS's age (Reception).

50 miles in a coach is going to take 1.5 hrs; so that is 3 hrs travelling in a 6 hr school day. This is quite unnecessary for 4 - 5 yr olds.

The aim of the Reception year (which is not compulsory) is to introduce children gently to the idea of school. By all means include short trips to local places / events; but (as a teacher) a 50:50 travel:payback event is not something I would introduce until well into KS2

TheCatInTheHairnet · 27/04/2012 00:09

Yes of course people can remember their Reception class trips. Doesn't mean they would be scarred for life if they hadn't done them.

OP, if you were my real life friend, I would probably roll my eyes internally, but would completely understand where you're coming from. It's not going to damage him in any way...he's in Reception for Gawd's sake, not University!

TheCraicDealer · 27/04/2012 00:17

I remember going to a petting zoo on the train (v exciting for a small person) and visiting the teddy bear hospital at an unknown location, both with nursery school

SchoolsNightmare · 27/04/2012 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

startail · 27/04/2012 01:38

They will be taken very good care of.

DD1 complains, the parent helper at the Egyptian exhibition took too much care of her. She wanted look at things!

I have vast sympathy for the helper DD1 wanders about in a dream.

The fact that primary never lost her speaks volumes.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 27/04/2012 01:53

I remember going on a school trip to the Old Curiosity Museum in Arundel aged 6, which was a Victorian museum of oddities, like calves born with 2 heads (stuffed) and pigs with 8 legs (pickled). It was awesome, albeit prob fuelled some nightmares

So, OP, could be worse. At least the panto horse will only have 1 head

CaoNiMa · 27/04/2012 03:30

I think it's time to cut the umbilical cord, or you'll have a mummy's boy on your hands.

NovackNGood · 27/04/2012 03:46

So he'll sit on a bus for ages, then get to airport and walk in a line holding hands and maybe with sick on jumper or not, get a baggage ticket stuck on his jumper for fun, maybe walk though an xray machine for fun and maybe hear it go beep for fun. Then maybe just maybe gets to see a big fire enginei spray it's hose for a minute and maybe get to wear a firemans helmet for a minute if he is the cutest one there. Whilst teacher and young helpers smile flirt laugh with check-in agent, security guy, fireman, etc text, facebook friend them laugh about will you call him all the way back on bus leaving return puke , wee as your problem, (as he only just couldn't hold it)

Alternative you could take hi out for a fun day with you.

mathanxiety · 27/04/2012 04:24

BabyDubs -- I fed lambs too; they are incredibly rough and desperate for that milk .

My older DCs went to an incredibly cheesy and non-educational place called Santa's Village when they were in kindergarten in the US. Plus a petting zoo somewhere, and for a hike in some woods where they were all chased by a raving tramp shouting gibberish. And a superb aquarium where two of the children crawled under the seats at the dolphin show and fell asleep, and the place had to be put on lockdown. There was also an all-school bowling trip at a huge bowling place quite a distance away that was always memorable for the number of people who threw up on the bus ride. Good times..

They remembered the tramp obv, but also deer from the woods and the odd bit of science about rotting trees, moss, fungus, habitats and homes of small mammals and birds (and larger, disheveled, shouty mammals) and lots of info about penguins and manta rays, and how nice it was to ride the connemara ponies. (Earnest requests for ponies guaranteed the Christmas they went on the petting zoo trip).

I would try to get past the fear of crashes while your DS is on school trips. It is irrational. It is likely that your child would survive the day well without you there since he manages to do that in school. I also think, however, that a child of four who might be embarrassed by throwing up could probably stay home and not be the worse for it. (But there is always the medication option if you were worried this might spoil his day.)

SodoffBaldrick · 27/04/2012 04:54

God, it's a wonder the news isn't daily filled with stories of 4 and 5 year olds out on organised trips, falling foul of traffic, abducters, paedophiles - wandering the streets and various carparks separated from their group - lost and forgotten forever...

And yet, it isn't. In fact, such stories never make the news...

Sunscorch · 27/04/2012 06:39

Novak, you have an incredibly low opinion of the teaching profession. I'm almost impressed by the level of vitriol you seem to have simmering.

Sparklingbrook · 27/04/2012 06:51

I am that it is thought that boys don't remember anything. Try telling that to my DSs (12 and 10) who remember everything.

I feel sad that some people think teachers can't do their job properly out of the classroom.

On Reception trips the teaching assistant was always in charge of the bucket containing rubber gloves and kitchen roll, they almost expect someone may be travel sick. The world won't end.

I am wondering what other fun aspects of school life in Reception are thought to be optional by some parents?

bumbleymummy · 27/04/2012 07:12

Floggingmolly, I'm not extremely overprotective and no, that is not why we homeschool.

VelmaDaphne · 27/04/2012 07:20

OK OK, so you'll all remember exactly what you did in reception until your dying day etc etc, but I still don't understand this attitude that if OP doesn't allow her 4 year old on trips, then she'll somehow scar him for life, and render him incapable of functioning as an independent adult. it's ridiculous! As I say, I "held back" my 4 year old until I felt he was ready, and I was right to do so, and have been totally vindicated in that decision. That doesn't mean I stop him doing things now he's in year 2. He does everything now, because he's ready now. Some children just take a bit longer to get to that point than others. DS2 for example is different, much more confident and adventurous. He'll go on trips in reception because he'll enjoy them. DS1 wouldn't have. Credit OP with the intelligence to know her own son, and don't have her down as a clingy mother who'll never cut the umbilical cord!

exoticfruits · 27/04/2012 07:22

Yes, YABU. You are unfair asking him because he is already picking up your vibes and I expect he has heard you express your view several, if not many, times. What is a poor DC of that age supposed to say ' don't be silly mummy, I love them'!! Hardly, he feels he has to agree. Wave him off cheerfully. I f they are doing that in reception they will be even more adventurous later on, and you have the residential to look forward to in the future.

exoticfruits · 27/04/2012 07:24

Small DCs go out with their school everyday and it would be big news if they were lost. They are fine. The operate perfectly OK and can have fun without mother!

bruffin · 27/04/2012 07:32

OK OK, so you'll all remember exactly what you did in reception until your dying day etc etc, but I still don't understand this attitude that if OP doesn't allow her 4 year old on trips,

We dont even know he is even 4, as I said above he could be 5 and a half!

Agree with exoticfruits

bumbleymummy · 27/04/2012 07:34

It's a bit ridiculous to think that reception school trips are essential for developing independence. In some countries children do not start school until much later than here in the UK. I don't think that they all suffer from long term development problems because of it.

Sparklingbrook · 27/04/2012 07:35

The youngest he could be is 4 years 8 months isn't it?

bruffin · 27/04/2012 07:37

And some countries are sending dc on residential trips at that age. The school have obviously run these trips numerous times with no problems.

VelmaDaphne · 27/04/2012 07:39

OP if you're still reading, do what you feel is right for your child. No one else knows him like you do. And it's only reception, plenty of time for trips next year.

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