This has made me so angry..working mums, we are the devils work

[sh1t]

I read this, and wish I hadn't

paid strangers to look after our kids

I sort of get the sentiment behind it, but the tone of smuggery just irks me, and the post is so skewed to mums, what about dads. The author claims she is a feminist, but I can't see it.

Shagmund again your experience I work in the top 5% most deprived areas in a nursery we are mostly all mums, and have a mixed range of staff. You cant write off all nurseries because you worked in a couple of poor ones.

She's not Molly,she's talking about the maj.

freud your comments on nursery workers being badly parented is at the very least outrageous...

Its not the majority though in my area I have been on lts of courses and know a lot of childcare staff here most popular age I would say was 30s/40s. Its seen as a great job for mums and we obviously do have young staff but a very wide mix of ages. It all depends on where you live. A lot of staff that I know have been on the same position for 15 - 25 years.

mrsheffley I don't think you need to love anyhting all day everyday to make a good job of it . But I do think the balance needs to be in favour of enjoyment versus reluctance. If on balance a Mum is finding it more difficult than enjoyable, I think it would be preferebale for the child to be in childcare.

Similarly, I think most things are preferable to poverty. I know too many DC who had wonderfully loving Mums who loved looking after them in those early months, who have had poor outcomes due to poverty and the area they lived in.

After that it's all a case of adding up the pros and cons.

heffley, at least your stance is softening.you concede not all mums do good mothering

as you say you did what most mums did
most,not all

as mothering is not innate or a given. the act of giving birth doesn't imbue all with mothering qualities

Hee hee. pomme I'm considering part time but can't see how I'll still have a career if I do. I guess you have to completely change your mindset but don't know if I can do that.

catgirl DS loves lil arsonist! Almost as much as I love my neglectful mother coffee mornings.

I have seen a lot of SAHMS in my area smoking, swearing, not interacting with their children, screaming at them etc and from this I have concluded that all SAHMS, or the vast majority are like this.

Obviously not but that is the same as saying most or all nurseries are terrible for children.

Wordfactory I'm not so sure.

My mother gave up her teaching career and spent much of my childhood on RAF camps in the arse end of nowhere.She didn't drive and had quite a few challenging times which she found hard.

I knew nothing of this until I had dc and confessed to her the hard days.To me she was just mum.I can never remember her loosing her patience,feeling down or times for her being hard.

In fact at times I used to feel a bit inferior as a mum.

No SM I think the vast maj of mums do a perfectly good or good enough job.A few need extra support but can still do a good job and a small minority are abusive.

Also some of the best mums I know are the poorest, ditto some of the wealthiest making far more questionable parenting choices(not childcare).Poverty doesn't equate with not being a good enough parent.

your stance has changed and your saying what I've said
most mums good enough but it's not innate
you'd had perviously asserted all but few mums do good mothering.unfortunately which isn't true

There is a huge correlation between poverty and outcome for DC in the UK. Huge.

mrsheffley you seem to be saying that a full time SAHM is preferable even if the Mum is miserable and/or the DC are living in poverty.

Soryy, but that's just daft.

yes socioeconomic deprivation impacts upon physical & mental health, educational attainment, and morbidity

Hi again,
I don't want to get involved any further in this discussion, as my last post only seemed to be an invitation to attack me personally, which just felt a bit destructive and doesn't really get us anywhere.
But I just wanted to quickly set the record straight that nowhere in my article for the Huffington Post did I equate nursery care with child abuse. Please read the article again if this was your impression.
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/milli-hill/child-psychology_b_1452016.html
Best wishes to you all in your choices x

the mule, great article as I said before, totally agree with you

I too have worked in nurseries and would never put my kids in one

I remember years ago reading a thread here about the fact most mums who have worked in childcare would never leave their babies in nursery, most posters didn't believe it and wondered why.........any childcare workers who did use nurseries did so because they worked in them.............any nursery I worked/trained in had mostly young, childless girls earning roughly £6-50 an hour, sometimes qualified but mostly working on qualifications.........mostly nice girls, ok for some night time babysitting but not leaving your baby with 8-10 hours a day

we need decent. properly paid childcare in this country, most childminders are doing it to fit in with their families eg. as a last resort and lots of nursery's are run for profit first, care second

if the gov want women to work they need to sort this out now

also I believe we need more flexible childcare for mums who don't often get/can afford a break, like drop in centres staffed by qualified well paid women, not bored easily distracted young girls, wouldn't this be great for everyone

mule stop with the accusations of derision
you wrote an alarmist piece
do expect comment

are you bps?hoc?bacuk therapist,do you genuinely think one can compare those adults who have experienced trauma and dysfunction to a population of children simply receiving paid childcare

you seem to feel aggrieved at your treAtment here..why?
you are also somewhat selective in what you answer

Well I am an anomoly then i would 110% put my child in nursery over any other option and I work in childcare.

The Mule, you must be new to MN, anyone here who writes that they choose to be at home bringing up their kids is ridiculed and called smug and then usually personally attacked into the bargain!

there are lots of women out there who would agree with you and have chosen to do what you did and have lived with the financial and social consequences - but ultimately don't regret the time they have spent bringing up their kids

molly yes you are in a minority I fear

and conversely working mums get why have em if you let strangers watch em
or cut and paste of biddulph and other spurious research

I dont think so faye I know loads of mums who have a background in childcare who send their children to nursery. Its not all young uneducated girls many have firsts and 2:1s in their degrees or are EYPs.

not at all Molly
I use ft nursery, happpily
picked nursery at 12m pg

Also nearly all the councils early years department and local authority have their children in nursery without them in my area

fayegovern i totally agree with your post