To be annoyed DH wants to go on a Stag do to Thailand

[FedupwithDisney]

My DH has just announced that one of his best mates (was DH's Best Man) is having his Stag do in Thailand for a week later this year and he will be going.

I am pretty annoyed. Every time I ask him to book time off work to do something as a family I get "it's not a good time at work" "I'm too busy" etc. We do have some family holiday time booked, but it's been a battle to get him to do it. He hasn't even taken all his Paternity leave that he is entitled to as work is "so busy" (DD2 is 12 weeks old). He does have a good job and I understand the pressures but how come he can suddenly take off a week for this?

If he goes I will be at home with a 3yo and a 8 mo. Guess I'll cope, I don't see him much in the week as it is, but I'm annoyed that he'll be away having a ball and I'll be dealing with the kids on my own for a week.

I'm also annoyed about the money. Surely it will cost loads. We're comfortable, but certainly not rolling in it. He gets a bonus in August which he's probably planning on using but I can think of much better things we could spend this money on like trips for the DC's and stuff for the house.

AIBU to be annoyed? He knows I'm pissed off and is sucking up to me big time, making the dinner and tidying up!

I've just looked it up- it's a commercial beach party that sounds like hell on earth to me. Obviously popular though. with morons.

It was fun 20 years ago - they were all over the place, DP went to one in India.

More commercialised now, of course although the hippy vibe at the earlier ones was always rather bogus.

Well, good result, but I'd also be annoyed that he was swayed by the opinion of his work colleagues and not your extremely reasonable concerns.

So now you know he's willing to spend his bonus and holiday time on a big vacation, where are you going to go?

Good result OP and it does sound like he just got swept away, which is forgiveable I think. Also sounds like he wasn't thinking about some of the aspects of Thailand which have been highlighted in this thread so that's good too.

And I take it you're off down the travel agents at lunchtime to pick up some brochures for the family holiday

Do please let us know what the bride thinks of the plans when you find out though!

Full moon parties are rank anyway, full of seedy men hoping to take advantage of out of it girls, wide-eyed gap-year-kids and skanky hippies. Oh, and hookers hoping to land a farang boyfriend. Gross. If he has any taste, he'd have hated it.

yanbu - I'd be cross too

Great result OP.

Malificence - I am so glad it is not only me who wont go there. A friend of mine went and she told me they sell women on the street, never mind in strip joints.

HereIGo - totally agree with you. I am not ashamed to say my husband, under no circumstances, would be going. It makes me puke.

Very pleased for you OP.

It is good for your H to realise this because it will prevent similar things in the future. My DH got invited to a week long stag in a seedy destination abroad (won't name it, but am reliably informed that the only reason to go there is sex ) and he declined before he had even spoken to me about it. He is even unhappy with the stag friendship wise because he knows he is going to cheat on his fiancee and has done before .

Glad he's seen the light. I think the only place worse for a stag do than Thailand would be Phnom Penh in Cambodia. There's a reason Gary Glitter went to live there...

That full moon party sounds like one of those things that's just full of gap year students and backpackers, like the Pamplona bull thing and the one where you chuck tomatoes at each other.

Thailand is lovely, the more normal tourists and families that can be encouraged to go there the better. It's not just a sex destination, that's insulting to the country and the people.

SonofBaldrick your posts have summed the hypocrisy and the double standards up really well.
FedupwithDisney im glad hes seen the light though it seems to me he only saw this light when talking to other MALES on the subject and the views of the little woman at home wernt important.
I would also be pretty pissed off with being slagged off at work if it were me.

Yes, because none of us have never moaned to workmates or mates about our other halves or asked opinions? Or is that just me then?

If you're referring to my comment, Hownoobrooncoo, it was made tongue in cheek, hence the emoticon!

But actually I would be pissed off if DH had slagged me off at work! So shoot me!

Hownoobrowncoo would you be spouting the same crap if it was the OP and not her DH who had announced "oh by the way darling we cant afford a family holiday this year but im going on a week long hen do with the girls and leaving you with the kids for a week ok?"

No of course you wouldnt.

A. it is the fact that he was only willing to listen to the MALES at work on the subject
B.The destination where he wanted to go and the fact that he discounted his wifes views on the subject because she is just the little WOMAN at home speaks volumes about the way he views women.
Good on his male colleaugues though. Hope he realises they probably now view him differently to the way they did before!

Carernotasaint. - what you on about, I'm totally with the OP and don't blame her for being upset with her husband and glad it was all sorted out. But Thailand isn't only a sex destination, as some have illuded to on this thread and the more non sex tourists that go the better for the people there and the country. Please make yourself clearer, you have lost me.

And CARER, the OP never really got the chance to have a proper talk with her husband, he might still have easily came to the same conclusion if he had. Your ramblings proove nothing, but ramble on.

OP moans to MNers - who give her their opinions (pretty forcefully).
OPs DH moans to work friends - who also give their opinions.

DH changes mind and apologises for even considering the idea.

I'm very glad the OP is happy with the outcome.

Yay! Well done, OP

Good to hear your DH has got the message that a week long stag in Thailand is NOT something most men would expect their wives to just suck up. Just goes to show that there is such a thing as positive peer pressure sometimes!

Do let us know what the bride's reaction is when she finds out.

I'm glad it's worked out for you OP, now here's a tip for anyone in a similar situation. Book a holiday for yourself (and friends if you like but not your DC) with a departure date the very day before DH is due to leave. Say nothing of this to him.

Until you phone him from the airport.

Had to stick with this thread until you'd had your chat, FedUp!
Yay for you, and yay for DH's pals :D I'm so glad he's seen sense :)

I reckon this is the start of the stag week's morph to a weekend in Barcelona.

Tend to agree, if the groom wants to go to a full moon party, why not go on honeymoon with his missus?!

And I'll try to take comfort that there will be fewer small minded idiots about next time I take a family holiday in Thailand.