LAPDANCE

[reeniemartini]

Hi,

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible but my head is a bit all over the place.

I'm getting married in October, we've been together 8 years and engaged for 18 months. I have always felt that i hit the jackpot with him, talented, funny kind and trustworthy. he came back from a stag weekend with mutual friends on Sunday night - and last night he told me they went to a lap dancing club and he paid for a dance. £20 - 3 mins.
I was floored. I always thought I was cool with that kind of stuff, thought it was even a bit of a giggle, one of my friends was even a lap dancer for a few years - so I am surprised how angry and upset I am.
He cried. He said he was sorry, he was stupid, he was too drunk and got caught up in the moment. He said he had to tell me because he never wanted to have any secrets from me, he said he was also upset because he didn't think it would feel like cheating but it did.
I asked for all the details even though I didn't want to hear, what did she look like? How/why did he choose her. Apparently it was as soon as they got through the door and she was the first that offered. It wasn't in a private area, she knickers on, a fishnet top and no bra. (God I feel sick just typing that)
I guess I'm so upset because I would have bet my life that he would NEVER do such a thing and now i feel stupid. I took my ring off - more to show how angry I was than anything and he looked like he was going to throw up - he just crumbled.
The groom didn't get a dance - and for some reason that makes it worse. His other friends did - they have all been married less than a year. I said it feels like the first chance you had you all disrespected your partners without any question or forethought. You all just conformed to the worst stereotype when I so much more faith in you than that.
Am I being unreasonable. i just don't know how to feel. I'm angry, upset but on the other hand am I just being a drama queen? He's promised me he'll never do anything like it again, that I don't deserve it and it was a stupid mistake. I just don't know how to feel.

you pay to be sexually stimulated by women on beaches?
weirdos

No BeachComber I don't.

If you try to understand my posts, you'll see that I believe people should be free to lapdance or have sex for money if that's what they want to do with their own bodies.

And that no-one has the right to tell anyone what they can or can't do with their own bodies...be that forcing them into selling themselves...or forcing them to stop selling themselves if they're happy doing what they do.

That's it in its most simplistic form for you....just so there are no more misunderstandings.

Really whatmeworry? Why is it then that criminals haven't taken to running illegal lapdancing clubs in Iceland since the ban? But criminal activity on an organised scale has flourished since Amsterdam legalised prostitution?

You are peddling one of the biggest myths there is about the sex industry. Legalisation increases danger to women and society and there is absolutely no evidence of an increase in criminal activity in societies that have banned the purchase of women's bodies.

A lot of women go to see male dancers, strippers (not as many as in the Chippendale heyday, but it's still popular ), should their DH's ditch the bitches?

I no their so worried about these men making women do things they don't want yet they are the ones who want to ban lap dancing thus stopping some women from doing what they want to do which is dance

oooh yes, that's what lapdancing is all about, the burning desire of women to gyrate in their g strings for a bunch of sad wankers
these threads always bring them out, don't they

What happens with a private lapdance? DH had one of these before I met him - now intrigued?

I disagree Worra. I think society has every right to tell me that I can't buy and ingest drugs that will harm my body. I have no right either to think that my choice to buy drugs trumps the rights of the people whose lives are made a misery by the drugs trade.

fallenangle I have already raised this apprenty this is ok

Male degradation is fine as long as its a hen do and not a stag

She keeps banging on about about women when clearly men Dane for money as well

I myself had a stripper gram at my 24th btw he was very sexy looked like they guy from THOr

You are peddling one of the biggest myths there is about the sex industry. Legalisation increases danger to women and society and there is absolutely no evidence of an increase in criminal activity in societies that have banned the purchase of women's bodies

And you are living in lala land. But those who cannot recall the past are doomed to repeat it.

Charbon really so you have the golden list of what you think I as a women should be banned from doing

Does lala land equal Sweden, Norway and Iceland with France and Iceland soon to follow WhatmeWorry. They've banned the purchase of sex whilst decriminalising prostituted people. It's worked very well.

It's also not something from the past. In the past prostitution has always been legal or de facto legal. It's been seen as a man's right to purchase women's bodies for sex. Not any more.

where's your evidence, whatmeworry? If you're going to tell people they're living in lalaland, I think you're duty bound to point to the evidence that would back up the claim that legalisation is the way to sort it all out.
From what I can see - and this is purely anecdotal - any zone of legalisation or toleration is magnet for every gobshite in the universe to fetch up and make a total nuisance of themselves. no doubt you'll educate me.

oooh yes, that's what lapdancing is all about, the burning desire of women to gyrate in their g strings for a bunch of sad wankers

But this is what makes me laugh

Do you not think it's arrogant to assume that because you don't like lapdancing and have no desire to do it....that there are not other women out there who actually do like lapdancing and are very happy to do it?

Not everyone is the same

You're free to not lapdance

They're free to lapdance

It's called a free world and thank goodness we live in one (unless some of the women here have their way)

So we have gone from a lap dance on a stag do to prostution their in lies the problem the two are not in the same time zone ladies

It's you who is living in lala land whatmeworry. You just haven't kept up with social developments in this or other countries. You are very uninformed.

You've opened my eyes, worraliberty. i now see, that's why we have lapdancing - as an outlet for all these women so desperate to get their rocks of titillating inadequate pissed males. nothing to do with servicing male desire for sordid paid thrills at all, heavens no!
you are surely taking the piss

Okay Worra. Do you think it is right that some people who choose to sell or buy cocaine or heroin are legally prevented from doing so? Even those who make that free choice and are not addicted? If not, what's the difference exactly?

They are called Sexual Entertainament Venues for a reason.

I have a question for Mrbojangles. What's wrong with full stops? They're really quite handy, you know.

Didn't the Leeds University report say that the biggest complaint from women employed in Sexual Entertainment Venues is unwanted groping/touching from men?

Someone sent me the link on another thread, a while ago.

Choosing to buy cocaine and put it inside your own body (if it were legal) would be similar to choosing to buy tobacco and put that inside your own body.

Choosing to dance in skimpy outfits or to have sex for money, is also doing what you want with your own body.

Selling your body to someone for a quick shag and selling illegal, deadly drugs do not compare.

Reactionary if you'd rather be petulant that have an adult discussion, there's no point in us engaging further.

Charbon alcohol and cigarettes are legal kill far more people than lap dancing don't hear you calling for the banning of that

I sure you enjoy the odd tipple yourself you like a drink so don't seek it to banned even though it destroys millions of lives

It's you who is living in lala land whatmeworry. You just haven't kept up with social developments in this or other countries. You are very uninformed

Uninformed eh? We'll see. I know history and human nature is on my side.

ReactionaryFish .