To have expected my son to have been fed?

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

I wont blab on I will get straight to the point!

My ds (15) stayed at his friends house for the weekend, Friday night till Sunday night. All the time he was there he was not fed, no breakfast,lunch,tea, a snack NOTHING!

I made sure he ate friday before he went there but he asked for something to eat later on and was told he would have to buy his own food. At first in discussion with my OH we thought 'oh dear they must be skint and have no food in' then I thought well they either should have said he couldnt stay or shared food equally (I have done it many times fed loads of kids with very little food).

THEN......My ds told me, friday night they had a chinese and saturday night they had an indian, It beggers belief, My ds friends Dad drove them to the indian ordered food for the family then took my ds to the shop to get himself a microwave curry.Over the weekend all he had was 2 micro meals and a bought sandwich Luckily my ds had £10 with him which I presumed he would be spending on sweets probably a 4 pack (general stuff a 15yr old boy would buy).

I would not dream of having anyone stay at my house and not feed them or aibu?

I feel really concerned too OP

Whatever the circumstances, I'm glad you're not taking it out on your son's friend.

Oh, I´m sorry - there is absolutely no excuse for that behaviour, regardless of why a child is staying for you. Basic hospitality - mind you, since they live on takeaways they are clearly wasteful of their own cash so I doubt cash was the reason. They didn´t want him around, did they!

Oh, and the Op's ds might not have wanted to leave his friend. After all, they'd planned to spend the weekend together, and friends don't generally abandon each other.

Good grief. That sort of behaviour makes absolutely no sense! Some people are so odd. I remember being surprised when I stayed with a friend for a weekend and was not offered anything to eat - was just told where the shop was. But that was as an adult. It's even worse to do that to a child. And what is it teaching THEIR son? To be mean and stingy. Wonder if their son was embarrassed about it.

I had a boyfriend that used to do this all the time.... Needless to stay he didn't last too long!

Just read the whole thread and . Speechless.
I am actually on a very tight budget but will always offer toast, pasta or something to anyone visiting. Even a cheapy value packet of biscuits with tea/coffee is better than nothing for people popping over for a few hours.

angel , in my head I would ring them and ask 'Are you sure it's still Ok for your DS to come with us for the weekend? I don't want to put pressure on you and want to make sure you can afford it seeing as YOU COULDN'T AFFORD TO SHARE YOUR F*@KING FOOD WITH HIM LAST WEEKEND YOU MISERABLE SHOWER OF S*ITES.' In reality I would say nowt, take the boy on hols,enjoy, take him back home, draw a line under it but start to limit time speny by this boy in your house and definately never let your DDS go to stay there unless you ring first and ask if he needs to bring money for food.

That is outrageous!

There is no excuse for the way that family treated your DS. I would have to ask for an explanation. I'd also have a serious talk with DS and get his thoughts about Haven - his friend is old enough to have responsibility for looking after his guest.

Rapace - yes, I did see that, but did she check with her own DS or direct with the parents? I'm guessing maybe the former.

When I started going out with dp and was around there a good bit (was 18) they would order chinese and make me toast. I had totally forgotten about that actually. Made me feel horrible, but at least I had something, your poor son.

"15 year old in sneaky beer buying shocker"

Do young people really buy beer not ginger pop? Golly

Sorry for the sarcasm but some people are in for a shock in the real world are they not!

Your poor son, OP, sounds like he was made to feel very unwelcome.

If I had a friend of DDs around for a weekend, they would be fed regardless of who had invited them and if I wanted them there or not. Horrible people to treat anyone like that.

I love the way as usual people pick up on the part of the post which is the least relevant, rather the actual situation.

Hello Everyone :)

Can I just clarify that the friends Dad knew my ds would be there till Sunday when i picked him up.

My ds had no means of getting home, His Friend lives 6 miles away, There is no bus service from his house back home and the road is a busy A road with no path, I think he was sensible to stay there till I collected him, I would have been mortified if he had walked down that road.

I did speak to ds a couple of times over the 2 days I was away but he never mentioned anything about food or anything else, He had no signal on his mobile so it was the friends phone I was calling in which case he wouldnt say anything infront of his friend.

I was actually at Haven setting up my Caravan and Awning ready for dcs trip next weekend. I am leaving it there set up for the season till November so all the Dcs can have chance to bring a friend with them for a weekend. Again I wont be asking any parents for food just a little spending money.

wrt them concealing something (filth?), I reckon their kitchen is unusable, hence the takeaways two nights in a row. Not that it's odd on it's own to have take outs twice consecutively, but that combined with being quite so adamant about not allowing an overnight visitor in leads me to smell a rat (not literally I hope).

Basically even if you were in a piss with your dc for inviting someone to stay, and insisted on them staying in the caravan, you wouldn't have an issue with them coming into the house at some point to use the loo.

Does the friend even have his own room? Has your ds mentioned anything about the state of the bathroom (when they eventually allowed him to use it)?

Madame that's dreadful! Are you ils still like that?

I also want to know why the friend didn't share his takeaway with DS.

Did DS ask to have a shower? Did he ask his friend about showers?

Did DS have a phone with him- he could have phoned you and told you what was happening. Then you could have contacted these parents to try to sort things out.

Either way I don't think the friend should be invited away with you until you have got an explanation from the parents of the way your son was treated.

I could not just leave it- just think another child might get the same treatment who doesn't have any money on them. They might end up starving for two days. Horrendous.

There was another friend staying too but he went home at 11oclock friday night (he lived in the same street) after he asked for a cup of Tea and was told no.

Poor sod. The friend, I mean (and obviously your ds).

Not that I blame the other lad for going home, btw.

Angel are you happy that the friend is not being mis-treated/abused?

It gets worse! they wouldn't let the lad have a cup of tea. Bizarre behaviour from those parents, the poor kids.

The poor boy. I would have been furious with this. But I totally understand why you are not kicking off, you could very well make things worse for the lad.

Some people are just tight, twatty arseholes, it is a shame that your son is friends with one of their children. Perhaps the reason that he didn't do anything is because he knows no better (or is ashamed).

I don't give a monkeys about if they bought beer, I don't see why such a fuss is being made about that small aspect.

i would not let him go round there in future, just have the son around your house OP.

FWIW, I am used to swarms of locusts (aka teenagers) around the house, always ensure there is the wherewithal for them to make snacks. To deny your child's friend food is weird.

Some people are really strange (and mean) and very hard to fathom. I'm really puzzling over this ......

Yadnbu How odd . Just dont let him go round there again and if he still wants to be mates with this other boy then have him round at your house.

I am speechless, really I have never heard of people being so unhospitable!

I don't blame the other friend for going home on Friday night and feel so sorry for your DS who didn't have that option. What a lovely boy he is to keep quiet about what was going on so as not to worry you.

I would be furious and would want to say something to the parents, but you are right there is obviously something very wrong with the boys homelife and its probably best you offer support and normality when he is at your house.

It beggars belief though