To consider a 3rd DC if we only want a girl

[Moti]

This has been playing on my mind. At the moment we have 2 x DSs and I am happy with that, my DH has always wanted a DD as he is from a family of boys. DH recently said that he wanted to keep trying for a daughter and would be happy to have another couple of sons in the process. I have managed to delay any more 'trying' as I have a new job and we have now agreed that we should wait until youngest DS is at school. But in all honesty I don't want to keep on having children just to get a girl. I love my sons to bits but don't want another son as things are good as they are, I would like a daughter to please my DH. Right from the beginning of our relationship he talked about his wish for a daughter but I have never been concerned about the gender of our children. Anyone been in the same boat?

No but please don't have another child. If you don't want another son then it isn't worth the risk and it isn't fair to the child.

We're TTC and DP is desperate for a boy, he wants to pass on his heritage and name. My DS is taking his name when we marry and DP is thrilled about this. I can understand where you're coming from. We want one more boy and a girl.

That said his mother popped out 9 kids to get her girl and I'm darned if I'm doing that. Set a limit of how many you want and keep your fingers crossed for the gender you want. End of the day every healthy child is a blessing and if things don't go as planned you'll love and cherish them anyway.

My parents kept going until they had me, their only girl. They had 6 boys (my six siblings hence my name), then me. I always feel a bit bad that the younger brothers feel like they must have been disappointments to our parents in a 'nevermind, we might get a girl next time' way.

I think it is a mad idea - you could end up with another 5 sons and still never have a daughter. It wouldn't be great for their self esteem when they inevitably find out your DH was desperate for a girl.

You are not an incubator nor are you a baby making machine. Tell your husband so.

Does he have any idea how dangerous pregnancy is? You do not want to do this, Again tell him this.

Any child can receive the 'heritage' and the 'name' to pass on.... whatever their gender.

You can't guarantee the sex of a baby

You can't make a DD to pleas your DH, it just doesn't work like that

I think that once you have 2 of a certain sex the odds are against you having the opposite sex IYSWIM.

A lady I know had 6 boys, tried again and got twin boys. and then a girl. and then another boy!

What does your DH imagine a girl will do that your sons won't?

have you watched channel 4 documentary?

www.channel4.com/programmes/8-boys-and-wanting-a-girl/4od

YABU. Don't do it just to get a girl. Three is very hard work.

It sounds terrible, I know. He even said to youngest DS the other day 'I love you even though I thought you would be a girl!'. Because he has expressed his wish right from the beginning of our relationship it is reallt difficult. He has got a book from the internet on choosing the sex of your child the natural way so I am going to read it.

You have to stop your DH saying things like that to his son

I can kind of empathise with your dh. I have 2 ds but each time i was pregnant i yearned for a girl. Im definitely going to try again, for the sole reason of trying for a girl. But if it is a boy then so be it, doesn't mean I will love them any less, in the same way that I dont love my other two ds any less, in fact i wouldn't change them for the world.

I think it is to give his mother a granddaughter as she has sons (although one of his brothers has a daughter) , because it is a different experience to parent girls and also because of his belief that sons will bugger off and be taken away from the family by their wives! Having said that he was over the moon with DC1 as he wanted his eldest to be a boy!!

Has anyone tried Shettles?

I have one of each

The parenting is no different

your MIL may want a granddaughter and she already has one

You can try and sway the conception - there are discussions on MN about it and other forums

No that wouldn't be fair to 'try for a girl'

Anyway, what if she turned out to be more of a tomboy than your boys are?

I understand how you feel to an extent. I had 2 boys and knew I wanted a 3rd child (in my case hubby not so keen).throughout pregnancy I wanted a girl but it wasn't to be. I have loved DS3 regardless with all my heart from day1 (he is 13 months) but have accepted my family is complete with a testosterone filled house.
I regularly get overwhelming feelings of what a shame we didn't have a girl but I am so blessed with what I have - I get over it each time. I didn't have a partner pressurising me and would never say anything to my sons about what if they were.... You need to trust your gut feelings about what YOU want and can cope with but don't let your husband upset what you have already.
I have friends who have even tried IVF gender selection overseas and its just brought them heartache. Trust your feelings and talk it through with DP

And yes I tried Shettles twice with no luck!

Isn't it traditionally the other way round - that girls join their husband's family?

(Not saying I think this is true, but just don't understand that "logic".)

The only way to have a certain gender is gender selection ivf.

There is a website for gender disappointment ingender I think it is called, but I don't think it's fair to have another baby as if it a boy it not fair that he will be born with resentment from his father for being the wrong sex

No handmade that's not the stereotype. The poem goes

A sons your son till he gets a wife but your daughters your daughter for all of her life

Or something like that. Not saying if it's true or not but definitely the common belief