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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the £20 my ds (8) found on the floor from him and give it to my dp

180 replies

zookeeper · 22/04/2012 17:49

I was out today with my dp and my three dcs. DP paid for us to go to a theme park and then have lunch; over £100. Not that he counts, but I do as I am watching my pennies at the moment and I appreciate how generous he is.

Walking afterwards on the beach my ds found £20 on the sand. As he was dancing gaily around waving it I whipped it out of his hand and gave it to my dp, saying that it was only fair we should do that as he had spent on us all day.

My ds was a gutted but I felt I could hardly not pass it to dp who had been so generous. He took it (reluctantly)but said that he would spend it next time we all go out.

I feel I was a bit mean to my ds. WIBU?

OP posts:
SpaghettiTwirlerAndProud · 22/04/2012 18:04

That was so mean of you! I'm not surprised your DP felt reluctant to take it.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2012 18:04

Sorted!

Now how are you going to get it back off your DP?

I suggest you show him the thread Grin

IAmBooyhoo · 22/04/2012 18:04

YABU

sounds like you were sucking up to your DP at the expense of your ds's feelings. i'm guessing DP isn't your DC's father from tehy way you have worded your post. way to show your ds whose feelings you value more!!

if you feel guilty about your DP treating you to a day out then you should have refused his offer until you were in a position to chip in. you were wrong to make your DS hand over money he found to make yourself feel better.

MilkNoSugarAndAShotofWhisky · 22/04/2012 18:06

Poor kid!

cookielove · 22/04/2012 18:06

OOOh agree with others, you should have tried to hand it in, although i think on a beach it would be highly unlikely and i really think the police have more to worry about then a £20 note found on a beach. And you should have snatched it from your son (rude) and given it to your DP, that is only going to bred resentment.

IAmBooyhoo · 22/04/2012 18:06

xpost. i see you have realised your error now.

cookielove · 22/04/2012 18:06

bred ah hem breed

TidyDancer · 22/04/2012 18:07

Yes, hugely unreasonable. It's good that you're going to make it up to your DS.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2012 18:09

When you give your DS the money back, tell him that it was from your DP.

It wasn't a nice thing to do to a little boy :(

squeakytoy · 22/04/2012 18:10

yep, YhavebeenU.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/04/2012 18:11

Yabu. It wasn't either of your mOney and it really shoulda been handed in to the police or life guard office if there was one. If no one came forward after a few days then ur son or dp coulda had it in an honest fashion :(

Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:11

That's unfair, innaccurate and presumptuous Boo, on so many levels.

OP posts:
landofsoapandglory · 22/04/2012 18:12

I agree with the others, YABU.

faintpinkline · 22/04/2012 18:13

Sorry another YABU from me. You could have spoken to your son about it and asked if he would like to give your DP something or treat everyone but to whip it out of his hand like that was wrong.

My brother found £10 on a beach when he was 8 and my mum explained to him that this was a lot of money (23 years ago it was) and persuaded him to hand it into to the coast guards office. The next evening it was still there so my brother very proudly took us all out for dinner. Being able to spend it HIS way meant so much to him and he's still not forgotten it

Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:15

I've given him £20, I explained that I did it on the spur of the moment and that it wasn't mine to decide etc etc and that I did it without thinking too much. all of which is true. He's delighted Grin Even us mums fuck up sometimes . Grin

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 22/04/2012 18:15

If there was no one to hand it into you could always have given it to the coastguard or lifeboatmen I suppose.

IAmBooyhoo · 22/04/2012 18:15

why zookeeper?

Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:19

the "sucking up" the" guilt", the feelings stuff. Big presumptions to make on a snapshot.

OP posts:
thatisall · 22/04/2012 18:20

you whipped it out of his hand as he was dancing around how very mean.

Did nobody ever teach you it was wrong to snatch?

IAmBooyhoo · 22/04/2012 18:23

"I felt I could hardly not pass it to dp who had been so generous."

so if this wasn't done out of guilt what was it? your dp paid for a day out but you felt you had to pay him back. so a sense of oweing? did you feel you owed your DP before your ds found the money?

crazynanna · 22/04/2012 18:24

Hey don't sweat it, Zoo. There is no manual available when we push out the little shits' Wink

Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:26

No I didn't feel I had to pay him back; It was a spur of the moment gesture to chip in with the money, that's all. No sucking up, no guilt.

Of course it wasn't my money to make that decision . That was my error.

OP posts:
Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:27

Thanks Crazy Smile

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/04/2012 18:27

I'm a bit surprised your partner took it in the first place. Presumably he knows that you're watching the pennies a bit and it was his choice to take you all out for the day? It is really cringey if he knew that your son found the money and that you'd whipped it out of his hand to give it to him?

I know you've had an awakening on this thread but really, did you think you were right? Booyhoo put it strongly but I was thinking the same.

Original poster
zookeeper · 22/04/2012 18:29

I think I just put him on the spot tbh. He wasn't comfortable with it. But feel free to demonise him...

OP posts: