To think my children can share a bedroom

[letasongcarryyoualong]

I have 2 children. DD is 5 and DS is almost 3. I am desperate for another baby, in fact I'd really like another 2 children and have a family of four but practically one more is probably my limit.

However we live in a 2 bed house which because of debt and taking out a mortgage over more than the 25 year term and a 100% mortgage we're in negative equity on and I can't see how we're ever going to be able to afford to move out. Neither of us earn much although we earn enough to keep us from being eligible for benefits. Part of this is DH, he could go for promotions etc but is happy where he is and doesn't want to add to his responsibility. I work part time.

Since we already have a DD and a DS in one bedroom I can't see how it would make much difference to add another. If I had two DDs it might be different, they could share indefinitely but as it is they have to share anyway. And I do worry about that too. At what age will DD need her own space?

ReindeerBollocks. - so why not let them continue to share if that's what they want? You don't have to put them in separate bedrooms just cause you have them. We had 5 bedrooms and our kids preferred to share.

lockets would it have been just as fab to share with your brother (or possibly two brothers)? Because that is the probable scenario here.

it must be a very tiny minority of the worlds teenagers that have their own bedroom. I don't know hardly anyone who did. Oddly, nearly all of them survive the experience.

I hated sharing a bedroom as a child and think that you should concentrate on the children you have. Sharing a bedroom especially when you have to do homework is crap. Get a hobby if you're bored with time on your hands.

Nasty post 2rebecca.

So what if the children don't want to share a room, they generally don't want to eat their vegetables either, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with making them do it. There are other benefits of having another sibling that they might not yet appreciate.

The OP says she can't really afford a 3rd child and that her current children will have less room and money if she has a third. She has a desperate need for a third. Why? Why isn't 1 or 2 children enough? To me alot of the "need" for extra children is boredom. Kids start to grow up a bit and no longer need you all the time and yes I do think some women like to feel needed and go on to have more kids for fairly selfish reasons.
The planet is overpopulated.
I love my kids but do think that people including me have kids for selfish reasons. I think looking at what desperation for a baby really means, given that the baby stage is so transient might be more useful than just having more and more kids reducing the quality of life of the existing kids. I don't think quality of life is all about money and your own bedroom, but parents struggling to manage financially and being cramped does impair your quality of life. Also marriages break up.
I think kids value your time more as they get older as well, and if you are always having to fuss over a baby then you have less time for older kids.

on the teenagers sharing a room rubbish my daughters manage to share and study and pass exams with good marks , I do think we are spoiled with a room per child thing. yes they need space but tbh mine sharing a room has benefitted them they tend to spend time with us as a familiy more as they have no room to hide in all day , its really just a place to sleep ,

2rebecca what a crappy post. Lots of people have lost site of what is really important. FGS look at most of the world. having your own bedroom - pah.

I agree with your 08:22 post 2rebecca

Will you be able to cope once tax credits and. Child benefit disappears? And with another mouth to feed? I llive in a really over priced area and am just about to graduate. Nursery for DD is £69 per day, I have found one for £59 though. After school care for DS is £16.50 and around £50 per day in holidays. That's for just 2 children. Graduate jobs pay around £20k. Things for us financially are not 'dire', but even with just 2 DC I am wondering how to balance the books when I am working FT!

On £20k you're a long way off tax credits and child benefits ending though aren't you ?

OP, what does your dh say about having a 3rd?

Not once OP gets a student loan and their income is 30k, (bitter experience speaking) and long term, how long until they get rid of the lot anyway? Actually I can't get this straight in my head. I don't consider our situation to be dire, but we are certainly short of £. How can you be really broke but be easily able to cover £1k a month extra for nursery and extra shoes, clothes etc? My DS is 9 and he eats as much as an adult, I can't imagine food for 3x teens, and shoes once they are adult size 5 + and above (DS's next pair I think), agghhhh brings me out in a cold sweat! I am not judging OP but trying to understand how someone can easily afford all that but be so skint. It really is only as your DC grow that you realise what £ sponges they really are. We discussed putting DS and DD (1) in together, but decided the age gap and sex diff makes it unviable. We have said of it came to that and we couldn't get housing benefit (doubt it as we can't get tax credits) for an extra room, then it would be a sofa bed for us.

They cost what you spend. I have three children and don't find them particularly expensive. Maybe we have simpler lives or lower expectations.
Hard to comment on peoples circumstances when you don't know them not that that ever stopped anyone in aibu

I'm not sure OP is gonna be coming back now!

You aren't by any chance in a Warner property are you, OP? Because if so, I do have a suggestion for increasing the space (it's not cheap, mind you, but achievable on a teachers wage plus your P/T if you maybe got a bank loan)

OP hasn't been heard from for two days now....she might be busy... or she might have heard enough?

I'm not sure OP is gonna be coming back now!

I don't blame her one bit Some posters are getting rather carried away with the self righteous finger wagging.

Geriatric - agree entirely!

p.s there was no criticism intended in my observation I think she has gone. Think I would've too if it was me!

In our house bedrooms really are just for sleeping in. Everybody spends time in the kitchen/living room. This means that bedrooms do not need to be large and anyone can share with anyone else.