AIBU to really hate the term "birth rape"

[laumiere]

It's from this story where a woman is allegedly put under a GA under her will and given an emergency C section. All very unpleasant (although it does throw up the question as to how much we really expect to control a process which at a basic level is still capable of killing us and our babies) but commentators are starting to term it 'birth rape'. As a rape survivor and someone who has supported rape victims as part of my job I am so sick of this term being overused and devalued! (This goes double for the moronic "draping" on FaceBook).

one thing i do know: more c/sections get called at shift change times in the US (possibly here as well)

kitcat birth options in some states are limited to : hospital or unattended

home birth is even illegal (or next to) in many states.
as a VBACer she may just have wanted a less medicalised approach within a hospital.

Yet another case of a (middle class?) woman thinking she can pre-order a birth to her specific requirements...sigh.

There is no decent answer to this...if the medics had listened the deluded idiot and let the baby (and poss her) die then they would be (rightly) being villified too.

Saving lives is a litigious business it would seem

funny how we all stop being treated like adult human beings when we are giving birth.
Rape, assault, violation. We need strong words for such things.

given that there was a story about a woman who refused section and then had her child removed at birth because of that - remember that one?

i wouldn't think the states thinks that much about women's rights over their bodies.

How can anyone read this story - and not think this is wrong

there is no mention of imminent danger.

there is no mention of attempts made to gain consent.

there is mention of trickery and her DH not being with her. Why?

given the responses on this thread, i think Uk women don't give much of a shit about other womens rights either.

She could sue, but she would unlikely to win/get a payout. She has no long term repercussions which would need to be paid for. Remember, this is in the States where baby often comes before mothers, mental health issues aren't taken seriously, and the only real evidence she will have to present is paperwork that the HCP put together (in one of my own medical assault, the time period in question was not written about in my notes, giant gap of hours went past with nothing written down). Against that, it's only he said, she said which would give little chance of success. Most medical assault cases are done through the formal complaints system of the hospital in question, not through courts due to these difficulties.

With regards to consent for a crash section . I arrived at hospital 2cm dilated. Put on the monitors just for a quick check . The heartbeat dropped off , menconium came flooding out . Alarms went off, my clothes pulled off, I was whisked away from my husband , told they wouldn't have time for an epidural and knocked out . As they hovered the,mask over my face I was asked if I had ever had a reaction to GA.

Later on they told my husband I gave consent . I have no recollection . I had to sign forms while still feeling heady from the GA. I replay it every day , but I'd do it again in a heartbeat because my daughter survived .

Derby - it's just a message on an internet forum so how on earth can we know if it is true or not? Assault = harm, in this case she & her baby are still alive & healthy according to the posting so even if this is true I do not equate it to rape.

The woman herself says there was deceleration in the babys heartbeat ( a sign of stress) ........ I wonder what her reaction would have been if they ignored that or even just delayed and her baby was born brain damaged or even died ( of course because he is ok no one can prove he was saved because they acted so quickly).

she consents to the monitor only to ease her husbands stress , no mention of wanting to know if the baby is OK

The woman herself says that she has pictures of herself with the baby that she does not remember being taken .. .... could it be that she did give verbal consent and that she has forgotton that too. ( of course that would have to be in the notes we only have her word atm that its not and does it say whether she has read aLL of the notes))

It is only her opinion that there was anything other than oxygen in the mask ....... these days aneasthesia is rarely given by mask its by IV injection.

I somehow cannot imagine this lady not asking any questions of the staff tending to her and every single member of staff refusing to tell her ..... of course maybe she did ask and was told ...... but just like the pics with the baby, she just does not remember being told. Lots of people dont remember stuff post aneasthetic.

I am not saying that she is lying and not saying that the hospital staff did not do anything wrong because NONE of us know .... I think there is just enough unanswered questions and possible doubts as to the accuracy of her recollection to say that this was a procedure forced upon her without her consent.

leQ the choice is :that or nothing. she is in the states.

BeachBlue - It's about Australian students, one year ago

Are you aware that the woman in the OP is in the USA, not the UK?

time and time again on MN, women post about birth experiences where -

Notes have been falsified and amended after the fact
notes are just plain wrong
staff don't explain anything
staff perform unconsented procedures
Dhs are removed from the scene
women are lied to

and yet you find this one unbelieveable - Why?

she consents to the monitor only to ease her husbands stress , no mention of wanting to know if the baby is OK

That's exactly my point...this woman throughout her entire blog shows a complete lack of compassion towards her baby's life.

It's all 'me' 'me' 'me'

tazzle all we have is this story. whatever you ;imagine' is merely filling in things that we have even less basis to believe happened...

I cannot believe soooooo many people on here have missed that the babys heart rate was showing "decels" ( the woman herself mentions it only once but did not say that it returned to normal either) .. when the rate slows the baby is in distress !!!!!!!!!!!

I can hardly believe that woman beachblue... how can someone be so selfish as to totally ignore such high risks for her unborn baby.

Red I am alive and healthy, that does not mean I have never been assaulted or raped. I already said I dislike birth rape as a term, I have consistently used medical assault as it is a clearer, less emotive term that I feel fits both the circumstances of the post as well as other situations - connected to birth or not - where HCPs cross the line.

I am merely arguing that the continuous "I don't believe this could happen", "medical professionals only do thing for patients' good" and many other comments are both complete bollocks (being HCPs doesn't automatically make one good) and part of the reason medical assaults are not formally reported or talked about (which adds to the psychological harm). Not believing a specific case is one thing, but most of the posts doubting it's reality are saying all cases where people say something like this has happened to them are false and that is what is harmful.

YANBU in my view. I hate the term too. I was raped extensively as a child and whereas especially complicated childbirth can be very disenpowering (I had lots of abuse memories return to me following childbirth) I do not agree with anything being done in your/your baby's interest 'rape'. Because for me the essence of rape is pointless violation.