to get arsey right back when dh was arsey with me for being uncontactable by phone for 90 minutes?

[bibbitybobbitybunny]

I am fecking livid and feeling extraordinarily sorry for myself all at the same time.

Basically, I sahm, and dh is self employed, works all over the place, random hours, goes away, no two days are the same sort of gig.

The dc are at primary school.

Anyway, nice day here, sun is out and I thought I'd make the most of it because there has been so much rain, with more to come, so I'd go out and do some gardening.

Meanwhile, school phoned here on the landline and on my mobile to say ds was feeling poorly and could I bring him home.

Well - I didn't hear those calls.

So they phoned dh and when he couldn't get hold of me either, he decided to leave work, come home on the bus (45 minutes) and collect ds from school.

When it started to rain and I came in from the garden, I picked up a call from school and said yes I'll come and get ds (we live 5 minutes walk away).

Met dh bringing ds home while I was on my way down to school!

Dh was very arsey with me for not having my mobile out in the garden.

I said fuxake, do I have to be at everyone's beck and call every minute of the chuffing day?

If I am not there to pick up the slack re. childcare then suddenly everyone is terribly inconvenienced, but does he appreciate me for being there to take care of this sort of thing normally? Does he my arse.

I really truly feel like fucking off on my own for a couple of weeks .

Well they´re teenagers & I´ve never been phoned yet!

I suppose I don´t get the having to be immediately contactable on the very slight offchance that your child is taken ill/has an accident at school.

I am contactable-just not immediately.

"Really?"

Well yes-it´s not that unusual, is it?

Well of course-but a major accident I´d also wanting the school to be getting them in an ambulance & off to A&E-not waiting for me to get there first.

I've been phoned twice in 10 years of schooling...2 children.
Neither time I was in. I only got a mobile 2 years ago.

Sorry I may have phrased that badly - why did the school phone the DH to tell him that the child was ill but then tell him not to do anything about it?

I don't get this part of the story - why would they bother - unless it was because they did want him to collect the child but then hearing how far away he was thought it was unreasonable to expect him to come?

If I were your DH, I'd also be a bit pissed off.

We all make mistakes, but if you did genuinely respond with a 'fucks sake, do I have to be at everyone's beck and call', then I'd be even more peeved if I were your DH. If you'd turned around and said 'shit, I should have had it, I'm sorry' in a factual way, he probably would have calmed down a lot quicker.

I think as a SAHM, you should have your phone in earshot. I guess it comes down to whether you think you should be always contactable.

IMO 1.5 hours is too long to be uncontactable in case of emergency - what if ds had broken his arm/actually been sick/anything more serious?? He'd have been waiting in hosp/at school feeling shite and you'd not have been there.

If dh works so far away then take his contact details off and add a local friend instead.

But why do you want to escape after this one episode? Is your everyday life wearing you down? Maybe time to speak to your dh about it and how he treats you and what you each expect?

What did people do before mobiles, or even before landlines...... Mobiles are a real curse of modern life in some ways. I regularly switch mine off..... when I don't want to be contacted. Granted my kids are grown up now....

Oh god, now feel like a shite parent.

Not that I am a SAHM, but I do have days off work in the week. I regularly sleep in the day, or go out miles away, even to Alton Towers one day

Never gave it a second thought to be honest. You can't live your life 'just in case'. Sometimes you can't just drop everything and be there to pick your kids up straight away. If it was a major accident, of course you would drop it all and go, but for anything else unless vomiting was involved, I'd come but finish what I was doing first. Eg weekly shop, or part way through a meal in a cafe/restaurant.

What do other working parents do? Neither me or DP are particularly contactable at work - he is not allowed to take personal calls on shop floor EVER! And I might be in surgery, or in middle of emergency situation. And even when I'm not, people can't find me in some room somewhere!

Even the third contact might be busy sometimes....

That's life.

YANBU by the way.

I'm completely in your DH's corner. I just don't get your attitude at all.
Who wouldn't want to be contactable for their children at all times? Yes 15 years ago we didn't have mobile phones blah blah blah. Well we have now, thank goodness.
I would be so pissed off if my DH was uncontactable and the school phoned me about an issue with my child.
I have been a SAHM, a part-time and full-time mother. The person who stays home taked responsibility.

I think this scenario is a red herring though. You're just pissed off with your DH aren't you?

Your dh is BU. He should have phoned the school before taking a 45 minute bus journey to prove you in the wrong.

Dh and I both work ft. It is not always possible to contact me. If I am left a message I phone school/nursery and we assess the situation.

Well there's a huge, and offensive, leap

I'm a working mum, I can be contacted but I'm half an hour away. DH is a SAHD but is in the gym, without his phone from 0900 to 1130 every day. My family is an hour and a half away, the PILs are 6 hours away. If DD had an accident, or felt a bit poorly in the morning I'm afraid she'd have to wait.

She's 7. We've been called by the school once, when she smashed her chin up in the playground at lunchtime. DH went and got her, but is a wuss about hospitals so called me as soon as he realised she needed to go to A&E. I was actually at an afternoon leaving do in a noisy club. Was sheer luck that I'd gone outside just as my phone went off! I am certain that if I hadn't DH would have waited until I got home.

I don't get all the people that need to be contactable at ALL times, I really don't.

YANBU.
If you have kids in school, I think you should make sure you always have your phone within earshot in case of emergencies.

I realise it is a common point of view, but I also think it is totally insane. Totally agree with TheDetective above...no intention of being contactable at every moment of the day, and no guilt about it, either.

When most of us were kids, there were not mobile phones - were our mums supposed to sit by the phone all day in case something happened to us? No. And things did happen, and we managed. If you have kids in school, I think you should make sure you always have your phone within earshot in case of emergencies.

My parents both worked, commuted to offices some distance away, and we did not have a car. No one was going to be able to pop over to the school at incredibly short notice, anyway, should something happen. And things did happen, and life went on. We sat in the nurse's office until we could be collected.

Im confused
In the OP you say the school contacted you to pick up DS but that DH took it upon himself to pick up DS ?? but didnt need to ? or am I really confused .

TBH it seems you have a lot of issues and this has brought them to the surface- deep breath ,glass of wine and a chat are in order .