To ask DH to kern the amount of time he spends having a poo?

[Babylon1]

Honestly, he's made it into an art form and quite literally EVERYTHING he does is punctuated with a visit to the toilet, sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes upwards of an hour ?????

It really really pisses me off at times. Like tonight for example, DH are you ready to take me to the supermarket?? Yes dear I'll be two mins, just in the loo.......

We go shopping, we get back, DH can you please bring upstairs the 3 baskets of washing I have washed dried and ironed today? They're quite heavy and I'm 39+4....... Yes dear I'm just on the loo but I'll bring them up before workmate gets here to go through various quotes.......

20 mins later, ding dong...... Toilet flushes, DH let's in workmate.

It's ok DH, I've just changed a kingsize bed all by myself, I'll carry the washing up on my own now........ Grrrrrrrrr!!!!

Is this a man thing or just my man???? What I wouldn't give for 10-15 x 30 min toilet breaks every day (averaged out obviously)!!

taxiforme My DH HAS to go to the loo the moment I announce that supper is ready. I was so fed up with this that I asked his mother about it when she was visiting last week - i.e. "MIL, are you to blame for DH's annoying habit of disappearing to the loo the moment everyone sits down for dinner?"

She said that she hates it too, and that FIL does it. He does it in restaurants too - the moment the food is brought to the table, up he gets and runs to the loo. He's a twunt. Uurrrrghhhh.

i am a crap widow also :(

Mrsmcentoe - that is so not normal

Obvious answer is to get in there before him.
Try taking War and Peace as reading material.

That's alot of time to spend in the loo. YANBU.

My DH does this too!!! Was getting slightly concerned that he may have ishoos, but reckon it must be the iPhone. Can't pull him up on it though as I take mine in too- it's the only peace & quiet I get to go on MN!!!

Babylon1, hairyqueenofscots, taxiforme* et al - we are the Crap Widows!! Good grief. When I was 18 and imagined how my life would turn out, I didn't picture myself as a very-nearly-40-year-old Crap Widow.

I know it's not normal. Should I show DH this thread? I can't live another 40 years with this (literal) shit.

could he be texted other women?

Oh brilliant we have the POO sisterhood.

Bloody hell babylon let us know what happens..39+4!!

"help the baby is coming..get me to the hospital now.."

Ten minutes later Flush.."just coming"..pulling up keks..

Arf @ crap widow

Thing is, we have 2x loos here and i can't possibly comondere (sp) them both at the same time!! He also isn't fussy about using either of them - whereas I will only use upstairs loo!!

YANBU. Very odd.

Also makes me wonder what would happen if men had periods.
Women would truly rule the world.

I've just shown DH this thread!

He thinks IABU LOL!!!!

Crap Widows, love it!!!

Mrsmacenroe

I'm sorry but two hours a day is way more than most men who read the paper in the bog for twenty minutes

I'd be seriously worried for his health

Does he have an iPhone he takes in with him? Mine does...swine!

I'd issue the ultimatum

Broken five loo seats?!? That could go on the divorce petition!

Yes Charlton, it's more of an iPhone ishoo than a bowel ishoo!!

Thing is now babylon he is going to say.."look.. all the other men do it, so I am NBU.."

Sorry - just re-read the thread.

Mine is the same, Everytime I hand him DD it's 'right, I just need to....' EVERYTIME!

The iPhone is just a replacement for the rolled up newspaper.

I'm a crap widow too with an iPhone problem dh. I have removed it when I manage to catch him in time but he can be up there ages. He farts constantly too and stinks to the point you can taste it. It always seems to happen when the dc need something done or we need to be somewhere

I think my DH has a) stress-related bowel ishoos and b) learned this behaviour from his dad.

I'm going to show him this thread when he gets home tomorrow .... if I print it out he could read it while has has a shit

Welcome to the poo sisterhood modelesque

Do it MrsMcenroe!!! Lol!!!

I think I'm just jealous of the time alone he gets behind a locked door!!! Without interruption or anything........

Taxiforme, he can say what he likes!!! But I will "flush" him out of this terrible habit!!!!