Mmm.... racism?

[laughlovelife]

I have a friend who wont date black men, not because they are black but because she does not find black men attractive, in the same way she wont date a man who has blond hair and blue eyes.

I cant work out if she is racist or it is simply her preference in men, she has many friends who are the above, but still I'm so is she racist or not

i wouldn't date a man with a beard regardless of whether he was black, white or a polka dot.

Am i beardist?

you can choose whether you want a beard

you cant choose the colour of your skin, there lies the difference

why am I bothering. WHYYYYYYYYY

I think if you really can not see the difference between saying "I don't fancy blonds/beards/small hands" and "I don't fancy black men" you are either very ignorant or a racist.

I'm white, my entire family is white, and yet I've always had a physical preference for black men (and am married to one now).

No, all black men don't look exactly the same, but the vast majority certainly have similar features (dark skin being one), and I can honestly see how someone might simply not be physically attracted to that, as I am more physically attracted to it over white skin.

It may be shallow, but some things are based on looks alone, visceral lust reaction being one of them. :)

birds, time for to attend some diverisity classes huh?

If the friend is talking about this, then she is probably questioning her bias and if it is purely on skin colour, she has the right to say that she doesn't find it a turn on and doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone she doesn't want to have sex with.

The discussion may have been edited and the friend may have said, very dark black, 'black' does vary, my sister is lighter black, but changes colour in the sun and goes more 'golden'.

As long as the friend is saying that phsyically, that's not what she wants and not that black men are inferior, so therefor doesn't want one in her life, then that is allowed.

And for those saying skin colour is not the same as hair colour, eye colour, or other inborn physical features (such as small hands).

I'd have to respectfully disagree. Skin colour is no different from any other physical characteristic.

Society has unfortunately tried to make it different, but that is the source of racism.

"And for those saying skin colour is not the same as hair colour, eye colour, or other inborn physical features (such as small hands).

I'd have to respectfully disagree. Skin colour is no different from any other physical characteristic."

I agree with this. If we think that it is different then surely we are saying that black people aren't the same as white people. In my eyes we are all the same/equal, and that hair/eyes/skin colour is just an aesthetic thing - doesn't have a huge affect on anything other than visual preferences.

you cant choose the colour of your skin,

You can't choose how tall you are, but it stops people fancying a percentage of the population.

Some people can't chose to put on weight, but i wouldn't want a man under 12 stone (min).

No-one is saying that they are inferior, just that they don't look at them and want to jump their bones, which is important to some.

The friend may surprise herself and fall in love with a black man, that is different than instant attraction.

Denzil, hell yeah.

Andi Peters? No. But then I don't think I'm his type either.

A generalisation about the colour of someone's skin? Silly.

you might not be able to change the colour of your skin (but that never stopped Micheal jackson) but you cant change your eye colour, height, size of hands, build ect either

So if i only wanted to date men over 6ft, with brown eyes, small hands and wide shoulders and tight but cheeks what would that make me? and would i be being as ist of some sort against short men with blue eyes, large hands, puny build and saggy arse?

I don't find Japanese men attractive. Also short skinny men don't do it for me, also fat blokes in football strips.

I quite Fancy dh but David Beckham is nice as well

Also why is it any of your business who she fancies??

I think the OP is not ridculous to ask the question.

I think the friend should of said is "I dont find him attractive".
I persoanlly have never dated a black man, and I am black. I would if i was a attractive to the particular person, same as asian, chinese etc etc. never say never i think unless.....
I think the area and the different people and cultures you grow up with make a difference. I live in a predominatley white britsh area and have only dated white men same as my sister. My cousins have both dated different race men, and they live in a much more diverse area. There current boyfriends are mixed race and black and very attractive :) I will add x

BagofHolly

But unless you personally know Denzil and Andi Peters very well. Then you are also making a generalised choice based on something you find sexually appealing.

I don't think skin colour is any less subject to the rules of physical attraction than any other outward aesthetic.

I think it is dodgy to say that you would never date someone based on their skin colour, in all honesty.

AMUMINSCOTLAND- picked up on the difference, the friend has said that 'i don't find black men attractive', not that 'black men aren't attractive'.

I don't find Japanese men attractive. Also short skinny men don't do it for me, also fat blokes in football strips.

I quite Fancy dh but David Beckham is nice as well

Also why is it any of your business who she fancies??

"I think it is dodgy to say that you would never date someone based on their skin colour, in all honesty."

Do you think it is dodgy to say you would never date someone with blonde hair?

' in all honesty' ops friend is being honest. Still don't c why anyone else gives a rats add who she fancies anyway.

If we all fancied the same bloke that would be awkward.

I think it is dodgy to say that you would never date someone based on their skin colour, in all honesty.

As opposed to a multiplicity of other reasons?

I thought racism was about not hating and discriminating against other people, not whether one wants to date them.

She sounds silly and shallow.

For starters, 'black men' includes an enormous range and diversity of looks, including skin tone. Does she go round with a Pantone chart? Is there a dividing line on skin tone beyond which she will not go? Or does she rely on elasticity and curl of hair to make the distinction?

Everyone knows people who have fallen for someone counter to the 'type' they usually fancy, or who has married someone from a group they didn't usually go for. It's narrow minded to just write off a whole swathe or racce as a possibility.

her loss.

I fancy everyone (except blondes)

If you've got a cock, give me a knock.

Like whiteshores, I'm white and really, generally, have never found white men that attractive. Not hugely bothered by more specific things like hair colour - just that, I don't find the Caucasian male genetic physical make up that attractive. It's not even about black men specifically - though all my boyfriends were black, my husband is mixed race. To say all black men look the same is - of course - ridiculous. But there are physical traits that make up the black male and I find that attractive.

Le shrug.

Does that make me racist, because I can say - hand on heart - in almost 17 years or so of finding men attractive, I feel I have enough authority over my own preferences to say I don't find white men attractive, and it's unlikely I ever will? Just as with black men, there are physical traits that make up the white man, and I just don't find that over all combination attractive. That's not to say all white men look the same either

My oh only ever dated women who are non white (he is white btw)
Chinese, Arab, mixed raced everything but I my self am black he says he just finds women of colour more attractive

I am female and only date men I dot find women attractive dose that make me homophobic

It's not about writing of a whole section of people in advance but we like what we like you can simply change your sexual preference hence why yu can't choose t be gay

Have a

My first one.

What a ridiculous thread.

Btw I also dont find mixed raced men that sexy to the point even a black guy how apears mixed raced is a turn off to me I either like dark black men
Or white blond hair,blue eyes white guys