Mmm.... racism?

[laughlovelife]

I have a friend who wont date black men, not because they are black but because she does not find black men attractive, in the same way she wont date a man who has blond hair and blue eyes.

I cant work out if she is racist or it is simply her preference in men, she has many friends who are the above, but still I'm so is she racist or not

WorraLiberty, that was a joke right? How can you NEVER have met a black person!?

Lol (I know you said you got the NN wrong) but I live in London and have met loads of black people

I too found that post weird. I wonder where Pendeen lives that she's never met a black person?

bejeezus

I can completely understand wanting to protect your DCs as much as possible.

However, I know with my own children (teenager and one on the way), I would also be very wary of teaching them to automatically see or fear racism where none necessarily exists.

I also think it is more healthy to be around people that do have a balanced view of skin colour as a physical attribute and nothing more/less.

I agree that basing sexual attraction solely on physical attributes can be seen as shallow, but most people would agree it certainly forms a large part of at least initial attraction. To what degree it actually matters depends on the individual.

I dont have any insecurities or doubts over how we are raising our kids with regards to their identities, self-esteem or racism

I have a friend who doesn't like the look of a heavily tattooed man...and another who says that the only Asian man she's ever found attractive is Krishna Guru Murphy (off the news!)

Another doesn't fancy Daniel Craig (for shame!) because he's blonde.

Another who has only ever dated one white man and ended it because she didn't find him sexually attractive enough in comparison to the black men she's dated.

We've had this discussion in my group of friends a few times!

Different things are beautiful to different people. You hear men saying whether they like blondes or brunettes all the time??? Is this racist?

Definitely not racist. If she said she didn't like to be friends with black men then yes she's racist, but she only said she hasn't found one attractive YET.

bejeezus You have nothing to prove to me (or anyone here).

I'm not criticising your parenting choices, just sharing my own in the hopes it sheds some light on where I'm coming from.

babybarrister If my friend read this she would hunt you down and become your new bessie just to see his wasp sucking face lol

tbh I quite fancy Krishna....I may have to take up the flute or something :-o

Saw a pic of a young Krishna G M recently - he was hot.

MissCeliaFoote
WorraLiberty

Cornwall.

Your comments have surprised me TBH. Is it so strange? I never really thought about it.

Pendeen where on earth do you live?

Am that you've never met a black person. Even in this back of beyond backwater I live in, there are people with genes from pretty much all over the world, not as many as in bigger cities, but still....

Sorrypendeen - cross posted.

I don't suppose there was much call for immigration into Cornwall back in the day, but I am surprised that you've never met a black person, be it Doctor, nurse, teacher, bus driver or rich retiree.

Pendeen I kind of guessed Cornwall

But have you never been outside of it?

I had an 11 year old boy in tears over this. He said he didn't fancy a girl who was black, and his class mates said he was racist. So I had to explain that while it was important not to be racist and not to be nasty to someone because they are black... not fancying someone who is black is not racist. You are not being nasty to them, or discriminating against them.

I have nothing helpful to add, except - Buppers, loving your work today

Wow, no, sorry, to me that is really unusual Pendeen!

I think if you have never met a black person it makes more sense you might not find them attractive as they are 'the other'...

I just realised that sounded a bit rude - sorry. Just sort of psychoanalytic crap musing.

Woops I am new to this, was meant to be crap.

Off-topic, sorry, but HokeyCokey, are you a League of Gentlemen fan?

babybarrister

I didn't say I had never seen a black person, just that I had never met one.

This is becoming a little off-topic (so apologies to everyone else) but I am was genuinely confused by the reaction to my comment.

I did not think that my experience was unusual for someone living outside a large city like London or Birmingham.

Out of interest I looked up the racial mix for the UK and my county is described as being 99% 'white british'. I didn't know this but it probably explains why some contributors are surprised at my experience.

In addition, Cornwall is a big county covering an area of @ 1,300 square miles and is almost 80 miles from end to end, but is alo sparsely populated with most people concentrated in Camborne, Redruth, St Austell and Truro so perhaps my situation is not so surprising after all.

Back OT, MissCeliaFoote please don't apologise, I did not take offence, you are probably right in what you said.