Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'he went to far this time' (warning: upsetting content)

152 replies

thebody · 13/04/2012 10:56

Is anyone else listening to Tina Nash interview? Her partner gouged out both of her eyes and she is now blind. She had suffered years of abuse and stuck by him after each occasion. She has children she will never see again and she said, he went too far this time'

Aibu to really really hope this man goes to jail for life and that it means life and why why why did she stay with this bastard for so long.

The lady is articulate and heart breakingly measured.

OP posts:
NarkedPuffin · 13/04/2012 17:18

'The guy must surely be mentally ill'

No. Not at all.

Abhorrent behaviour does not = mental illness.

There are millions of people in the world who are mentally ill who have never hurt anyone, and thousands in perfect mental health who have done terrible things.

AmberLeaf · 13/04/2012 17:20

Im Shock because when I started reading about this id assumed she was dead when he gouged her eyes out!

I cant believe he did that to her while alive.

QuickLookBusy · 13/04/2012 17:21

It is so so awful. I can't believe a human being could do this to someone else.

He has been charged with GBH with intent. WTF is that about? Why wasn't he charged with attempted murder and holding someone hostage against their will? Does anyone know what sort of sentence he will be expecting?

ithaka · 13/04/2012 17:26

For me, one of the most upsetting things is that he kept her prisoner for hours after gouging her eyes out and blamed her for making him do it and the trouble he would be in. Horrific.

I think that resonated because DV perpetrators do seem to blame their victims for making them do it and in this case it was taken to vile extreme.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 13/04/2012 17:27

I hope he gets his bollocks chopped off in prsion by some other prisoner

QuickLookBusy · 13/04/2012 17:29

Agree ithaka, it is horrific that he could do that, with her DC upstairs, then keep her there for hours.

I have just googled a bit about the charge, so not sure how reliable this info is, but it says that GBH With Intent is the same as Attempted Murder in that it can mean a life sentence. Let's bloody hope so.

Heyyyho · 13/04/2012 17:38

Dear god have mercy Sad
That poor woman

FreudianSlipper · 13/04/2012 17:41

why are you highlighting a passing comment Hmm

he had been violent to her for years, he had worn her down how do you expect her to feel, he has robbed her of her self confidence long before this had happened

why not try and eucatate yourselves on the complexities of dv rather than ask why women stay with violent men

JuliaScurr · 13/04/2012 17:41

230 women a day are turned away from refuges for lack of space. 19 thousand women a year flee their homes. No council houses and housing benefit cuts - where can they go? 2 women a week killed. 1 in 4 women subjected to domestic violence.
Is this really the best we can hope for?

WilsonFrickett · 13/04/2012 17:48

I too was Shock at the charge, so thanks for looking that up Quick - I thought GBH would only carry a term of around 4 years max, attempted murder can go up to life I think?

I think decisions on new identities after prison are made on the basis of risk assessment, which is why I hope he is not attacked in prison - I belive it heightens the chances of him getting a new life and new id when he gets out, and that's the last thing I want. I want every woman in Britain to know his name.

AnyFucker · 13/04/2012 17:53

actually, I would like him to be tortured in prison by being strangled, having his eyes gouged out and then held captive for 24 hours with his injuries

or extradited to Texas, USA

unfortunately, that isn't going to happen, so the best we can hope is that he gets the maximum sentence possible

I don't think it's enough though, and nothing will change my mind about that

QuickLookBusy · 13/04/2012 17:54

It just doesn't sit right though does it wilson?

What he did was far more than GBH. You hear of people being charged with that who have had a quick fight in the pub.

WilsonFrickett · 13/04/2012 17:55

Absolutely agree re sentence length AF. And life might send a message to other abusers too.

WilsonFrickett · 13/04/2012 17:58

x-post Quick - completely agree, GBH is punching and fighting - this is clearly a premeditated attack and I don't see a difference between this and attempted murder. And further to my post above, the flip is if he doesn't get life, that will send a message too.

TheMonster · 13/04/2012 18:01

Poor, poor woman.

Hollyfoot · 13/04/2012 18:02

My heart goes out to Tina Nash.

My XH was beaten up after going to prison for what he did to me and DD. Maybe the same will happen to this man. Whatever, I hope he gets to feel some of the fear she must have done, if not her pain.

Whilst I strongly believe in rehabilitation, prison should also serve as a means of containing people who are too violent to be in society. And so surely that is where he should stay.

Oh and I dont give a flying you know what if he never eats another fresh vegetable, or walks on grass or hears a bird again.

SmethwickBelle · 13/04/2012 18:04

Just horrific, I sincerely hope she can find some peace, how utterly devastating.

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 18:05

i want to see an early intervention system WRT violent crimes. i want every person who has been reported for even the smallest act of violence on another, even if two people are caught fighting in teh street, made to complete some sort of violence course. i am no expert but there surely must be something that can be created to effectively change how violent people see their victims and how they choose to act. they should have the option of either completing the course in it's entireity or going to prison for a set number of days/weeks. i also want the perpertrator to be forbidden from living with or going within a certain distance of/contacting their victim until the course is completed or a set time period. i want their to be a standard minimum time period for this restraining order, so that anyone who comiits an act of violence will know that they will be out of their home/local area/workplace/wherever for say 60 days. if they have comitted a violent crime against a person they live with then they will have chosen to make themselves voluntarily homeless and council will not be obliged to house them. i also want this to be able to happen regardless of whether teh victim presses charges/wants it to happen or not. i want the victim to be given counselling and advice on what their options are WRT what happens once the restraining order time is up. i want psycologists assesing people who commit these crimes and advising whether they believe the person to be a risk to their victim or anyone else after the time period is up and no quotas imposed on them to make it look like the govt is responsible for 'rehabilitating' people who aren't actually safe to be returned to society. yes this all costs money but IMO this money is needed. women and children need to be protected. i would gladly see my taxes rise if i knew this is what it was going towards. there are probably other things that can be done aswell these are thing si can think of. punishments for violence, especially against women are not enough of a deterrent to people. this needs to be changed and a 1st offence policy brought in. NO violence is acceptable and the law needs to reflect this.

everlong · 13/04/2012 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meglet · 13/04/2012 18:13

This story makes me so relieved I kicked XP out before I was hit, and believe me I think I was days away from it Sad. TBH I don't think I would have clicked if it wasn't for MN. At least me and the children are safe now, and there is no way on Gods earth they are seeing him until they are adults, if at all.

XP is now hitting his new girlfriend. I feel so bloody sorry for her.

TheProvincialLady · 13/04/2012 18:22

I am finding some of this very difficult to read from posters whose opinions I normally really respect.

Prison is about punishment and keeping unsafe people away from society. It is in no way about torture and making living conditions so inhumane that prisoners start attacking one another and meting out 'justice.'

A lot of people who commit nasty crimes are nasty, nasty people. Some of them are people whose backgrounds condemned them to be nasty, some of them developed mental illnesses that made them nasty, some of them were just born that way and some of them just made a series of horrible choices. What makes us different from them is believing that gouging someone's eye out or torturing someone is NOT ACCEPTABLE EVER. Hoping that someone will do it is as bad.

I am not some namby pamby love the murderer person. But I do have more personal experience than some of you will have, because my father went to prison for abusing me. He was a nasty person and then he developed paranoid schizophrenia. He had a very abusive childhood. I would imagine he was subjected to a lot of abuse and danger when he was in prisoner, for being a paedophile. Does that help me or make me feel better? No. I feel sorry for him and forgive him (somewhat) even though his actions were vile and I will never want anything to do with him. I am not saying other people should feel that way BTW.

Bitofastate · 13/04/2012 18:32

Agree totally TheProvincialLady. You put that very well Smile

Original poster
thebody · 13/04/2012 18:38

So sorry for what you have been thru provincial, a truly sad and measured post and I admire u do much but I can't help remembering when Ian Huntley was stabbed and scalded in prison.

Me and dh toasted it with a glass of wine. That's just how I feel I guess and we hope someone teaches this fucker a lesson. A very painful one.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 13/04/2012 18:45

Aw gawd, dont feel sorry for me! I'm fine

I suppose what you say is a human reaction thebody. A part of me feels glad when evil people 'get what they deserve' but then I always feels afterwards that a little bit of me became less human.

Birdsgottafly · 13/04/2012 18:48

IAM- that would still only work if victims (and perpetrators) came forward, but in this case she thought that she could change him, to the point of when services wanted to get involved, she lied and in part colluded with him.

What you suggest would push violence underground, even more, in some sections in society, because your suggested intervention goes to far.