'he went to far this time' (warning: upsetting content)

[thebody]

Is anyone else listening to Tina Nash interview? Her partner gouged out both of her eyes and she is now blind. She had suffered years of abuse and stuck by him after each occasion. She has children she will never see again and she said, he went too far this time'

Aibu to really really hope this man goes to jail for life and that it means life and why why why did she stay with this bastard for so long.

The lady is articulate and heart breakingly measured.

Perry, you must have read a different piece by the Telegraph than me, then.

Deciding when to leave is very complicated.

Often these things escalate and the victims have trouble deciding what is the final straw when they have essentially forgiven all the minor steps leading to each event.

I told ex that I'd leave if he ever laid hands on me again after the first main incident. But it was not easy to really decide what would make it. Was it the little push he gave me? Only after another significant incident?

Abusive relationships are often complicated and it's difficult for someone outside, and even when going through it, to understand and make final decisions.

I haven't read the story as the thread above is upsetting enough. Poor, poor woman. I agree both that we should not blame the victim but also that we need to understand the mind set in order to help others.

But, having relatives in prison, and having heard a very moving talk by a prison governor, I do not wish the perpetrator to be met with bullies in prison however appallingly he has behaved. An eye for an eye is not right. How we treat prisoners is a mark of our civility. The punishment is being in prison, not in being locked up with nutters out to harm you. We need to make prisons safe (not cushy, not luxurious) for all. Not least as some people in prison are innocent, and some not yet convicted, or some convicted of trivial offences. I for one would rather campaign for basic human rights for prisoners - imagine never having a fresh vegetable again, never walking on grass, never hearing a bird, not being able to see a dentist when you are in pain, never being able to choose your friends or your bed time, never getting away from the noise of other people screaming, and self harm (I am thinking particularly of women's prisons). So please condemn this man's actions as unspeakable but do not make the mistake of wishing for an inhumane prison system. You, or someone you love, might one day be there through some tragic mistake in the court system.

allisrelative, he wouldn't have considered doing this if he new the consequences would have been to have his own eyeballs gouged. It's this pity the poor little violent thug, lets feel their pain and ensure they get away softly attitude that allows these vile creatures to continue escalating their behaviour until they go this far in the first place. No sympathy for this or any other evil fucker, they deserve as bad and worse than they inflict on innocent people.

"imagine never having a fresh vegetable again, never walking on grass, never hearing a bird"

Well that sounds a bit shit but if I had violated a child or cut short a life then I would expect to be denied that at the very least!

LOL that such criminals have ever appreciated fresh vegetables, grass and the sound of birdsong.

What about the victims rights then, the ones that have been murdered or maimed? They will never eat a fresh veg or walk on grass again, never see their children again.

It makes me so mad. No sympathy for murderers in prisons none at all.

now that he has pleaded guilty, he will probably be a free man in a few years

It was an awful, awful crime. I cannot even begin to contemplate the level of depravity required to gouge an eye out. I hope the judicial system works this time and jails him for a very, very long time.

imagine never having a fresh vegetable again, never walking on grass, never hearing a bird

are you for real ?

this man, and others like him, was only interested in dehumanising his victim...do you think one little thought of birdsong was in his had when he gouged a woman's eyes out ? Really ? You think that a just punishment?

*head

allisrelative-I don't have relatives in the prison system but I do have an adult daughter who wa shorribly, horribly affected by the murder of two 10 year old friends when my DD was just 11 herself. I also still see her classmates and the siblings of the murdered children so my heart doesn't exactly bleed for men like Jenkin. I have no wish to see an inhuman prison system but I do believe that there are times when life should mean life. When you commit a crime as horrendous as Jenkin's you do kind of give up some of your human rights.

Awful, I cannot imagine what that woman must have been through. That bastard will not get the punishment he deserves I'm sure.

And as for this comment-

imagine never having a fresh vegetable again never walking on grass, never hearing a bird

I am speechless and disbelief.

someone I loved is hopefully going to prison, you really dont want to know what I hope happens while they are there, and eye for eye - exactly, I hope he goes through exactly the same as he put his victim through.

basic human rights dont belong to those who have stripped them from others.

He won't get 'life' and very few criminals do, that is why we need a humane prison system.

There are tougher prisons in other countries and all the studies show that they achieve nothing but to release men who are a lot more violent and at a higher risk of re-offending, back into society.

If more people understood DV and it's perpetraitors, supported interventions, then these incidents wouldn't happen.

Knee jerk reactions don't help anyone.

allisrelative I agree. What this man did, and what many others have done, is despicable. Loss of liberty is a severe punishment and for these people it should be lost for a very long time. But prisons are brutal and hideous places and can dehumanise people further, and this does not make them safer when they are released. I think that someone capable of this should be locked away until they are no longer a danger. That for me means a lot more focus on rehabilitation.

I also think that there should be earlier intervention with those who commit the most minor domestic assaults, as they invariably get a caution and their behaviour may well escalate.

I think Birds is right.

There are too many DV cases. This is horrendous. We need more information about DV to be in wide circulation and to really, really mean support for women to leave.

My guess (and it's only a guess because I'm one of those people who live without a widespread information about DV) is women stay because it's easier to stay than to leave. It should be easier to leave.

My guess is that society still does not make it easy to leave: we don't teach girls (and boys) what are fully civilised ways of interacting with others and intimeate partners; what is unacceptable behaviour; what it means to really acknowledge bodily and psychological boundaries and insist on having those respected. We don't make it easy to leave a relationship - either psychologically, legally or financially (hell: look at the changes to legal aid gooing through).

We don't teach all these things for many complex reasons. We should. It would be far better to be in a position to prevent much DV rather than fantasising revenge or whatever after the fact. This man may go to gaol, but other DV situations will continue.

I too find the fact she said: "He went too far this time" absolutely depressing.

... just wanted to say that, I know people do ridicule the mn tendency to say: "Leave the bastard" but, for my money, mn - and the Realtionships section in particular - is one of the few places in society where a woman's right to leave is emphasised, and her rights as a person - and to be treated as such - are insisted on. I think it's commendable.

And I wish Tina Nash well. I hope she finds the strength, courage and love to live the rest of her life with some joy.

You see, in my view and opinion, this man is extremely dangerous.

And so, as such, he should be locked up until such time as the authorities are certain that he does not pose a danger to anyone.

I don't understand when people who do things like this get fixed tariffs. Reading stories about people who the authorities and doctors know are very dangerous, but because they have "done the time" they get released anyway.

As long as this man poses a threat he should be incarcerated. If that is the rest of his life then so be it.

Poor bloody woman, poor children, awful.

I think this man should have the details of his crime tattooed on his forehead so no woman will ever go near him again, unfortunately he will probably be out of prison in a few short years with the opportunity to start a new life somewhere he is unknown, this poor woman has a life sentence.

he will be released with a new identity, I expect

at vast cost to the rest of society

I havent read the whole story but the details on hear have made me feel physically sick. Terrible.

I doubt very much that he will be released with a new identity.

much as I hate to disagree with you AF.

I think that pointing out that you should not think you can change a violent person and are taking a great risk staying with them is not blaming the woman. As the policeman explains on the BBC clip, people he sees staying with violent partners (and I presume he means of both genders and in same sex relationships also) are often very caring people who cannot comprehend that their partner can't change - it's not blaming them to try and get the message over that they cannot change the person and in all likelihood, they will continually pay for any good times with terrible bad times.

DF, it's ok to disagree, dafty

why do you think that he wouldn't get a new ID ?

I caught the very end of Jeremy Vimes on Radio 2 covering this. One man had phoned in, clearly on the verge of tears having listened to her interview, imploring her to "hang on in there".

One of her worries apparently, is that he will be "bragging" about his attack, once he's inside.

Scum. I hate this word usually, but all other words fail me when I think of the violence this poor lady has endured.