to be mildly irritated at childminder shortening my dc's name

[nicknameshame]

not the biggest crime in the world i know but annoying me!

It really isn't that important my mum wound herself up for years making everyone call me by my full name, as soon as I got to high school I shortened it...she went ballistic first time someone called asking for short name! All my friends used to laugh and make a big point of asking for full name just to keep her calm. Now it's only immediate family and people I have known since childhood who call me full name. Thank God as it's a mouthful . There will be much more important things to worry about in your childs life.

YANBU. Ds2 has a name that is commonly shortened but we decidd to leave that decision to him when he is older and use the full version (only 6 letters so not a very long name). I would not dream of shortening a child's name unless I heard the parents do it or the child say so and I worked in a reception class for 8 years. Ds2's pre school teachers keep shortening his name and have been told by ds2 that that is not his name but they still do it, then wonder why he doesn't respond to them or goes funny on them. I have also told them we wish to have it kept as his full name and he can choose.
To those saying it is up to others what they call your child, why bother choosing a name then, let everyone choose what tbey call your child. My name can be shortened too, my parents took the same idea as me and as an adult only 2 friends shorten it. Everyone else uses the full version which I actually prefer.

My DS is Thomas and I imagined the inevitable shortening to Tom. I don't mind that - it's never happened.

YANBU to say you don't want your childs name shortened. I expect it will happen behind your back still though.

I think you should just tell the cm that you would like your child to be called by his proper name, rather than a nn. Most people tend to follow what the parent's call the child, so if you want your dc to be known by their proper name then now is the time to establish that, while they are still young.

My dd has a long name, which I really love. I like the nn, but tbh, they are not what I chose and are not my dd's name. I cannot see the point in picking a name you love, then letting everyone call your child something entirely different.

Nip it in the bud, now, before it gets ingrained.

YANBU

Just tell her - she won't mind.
I look after a little girl with the same name as my niece, only my niece uses a shortened version. I have found myself accidentally using the same version. It's affection rather than rudeness: I treat mindees as one of the family.
I have apologised to the parent and luckily she doesn't mind at all.
I would have no problem if her mum said "actually, I hate that form and I'd rather you didn't use it".

It's surely a sign of affection though? I think you need to unclench a bit personally. It's HIS name, not yours. It's surely for him to decide when he's older what version of his name he prefers? And as another poster pointed out, he's going to have different relationships with different people you can't dictate how they interact with him.

lol at unclench

If it annoys you say so politely,
As others have said you cant do much in later years, but you can now.

If he uses his full name now he may ask people to in future.

My parents only ever use my nn, I always told teachers to. I don't even turn round if someone uses the full version, it just doesn't register.

Thomas? My Thomas is a Thomas not Tom, he hates anyone but his best best friends calling him Tom (they all have cute names for each other) yanbu it would annoy me too.

Ling, the key part of your post is the 'when he's older' bit. In the meantime it's his parents decision.

oh fgs

you are a bit uptight
tell him to say something if it bothers him - he might like it

This is a complete and utter betrayal of you and your dc

I am so sorry you are going through this

I also cared for a child who used the shortened form right up until school, then decided she wanted to be known by her full name now she was a big girl (think Elizabeth rather than Betty).

Nightmare!!
I'd called this child by the short name for 4 years!

This is why I call them Darling or Sweetheart

Proudnscary

Karma, if you accept that your child may well choose to be called the nn while he's older why get stressy about it when they're young? My MIL calls my youngest by a nn that doesn't even relate well to her actual name, it grates on me if I'm honest. But I don't 'own' my DD and I don't 'own' her name. She has a relationship with my MIL in her own right and if my MIL wants to use an incorrect and frankly annoying nickname of her choice then I'm not about to throw my weight around and veto it.

Yes, no-one really has a right to make a diminutive of your child's name but your or their siblings. It will take quite a lot of reinforcement though to get the message across....

We purposefully chose names for our DCs that could only have the diminutives that we chose for them or would like. We liked David but not Dave and James but not Jim so those were crossed off our lists before DS was born.

MIL had this problem constantly with one of SILs' names - the commonly called diminutive was assumed to be okay by teachers etc... but was never the one used at home. SIL to this day is known by family and close friends by her childhood diminutive!

I feel name shortening is either laziness or rudeness if that person has always been introduced by their full name.

My mum insisted I was called by the long version of my name and corrected people who tried to shorten it, as she chose a name for me that she liked. When people try and call me something different I don't recognise that they are talking to me so ignore them, or correct them.

When I am introduced to someone but hear them being called by an abbreviation I make a point of asking them what they prefer to be called. It's plain good manners to check.

I work in a school and someone I work with insists on shortening or even lengthening some names- it drives me insane mainly because I have had to deal with a complaint about it.

It's actually put me off some names for my new baby too. Don't turn a beautiful name like Imogen into ! blech!!!

Into 'Immy'!

FWP.

You absolutely cannot expect to control this.

When naming your child choose a name that you like all versions of.

We called our daughter Kate, not Catherine because we don't care for Cathy or Cath.

my sis called her daughter Feclicity-May and insisted that we all give her the full adress when we spoke to her.

she went to the childminder and came back as Flick. My poor sis had so much on her plate that she didnt challenge it, but i know she hates the shorted version.

On the other side of the coin, my DH picked our DD's name, and i dont particularly like the name (love dd natch but dont like the name) all of her shortened versions sound mad so i just call her by a petname!

I hate my own name, it cant be shortened convincingly, but it almost sounds like a bark when my mum used to shout it.

This is a complete and utter betrayal of you and your dc

catyloupylou I think you forget that a childminder or teacher may have cared for lots of children, many of whom have different versions of the same name. I myself have cared for 8 children called James, Jamie, Jimmy or Jay, all of whom had James on their birth certificates. It isn't rudeness or laziness to slip up and call a child by the wrong version.