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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we will be able to find witnesses

160 replies

plantowed · 11/04/2012 16:27

outside the registry office on the day of the wedding and if so what should we offer them as an incentive to be a witness? Not planning on having any guests.

OP posts:
Original poster
plantowed · 15/05/2012 21:57

Thank you all so much for your kind messages and offers of help. I certainly did not expect such a response on AIBU. I thought lots of people would think we were being unreasonable either to get married in secret or to try to drag strangers off the street!

An update for all the romantics wanting a distraction from car parking posts. We did get married and have kept it secret from everyone so far. We did actually struggle to find 2 witnesses as the registry office was actually located in a remote area with no passers by which we had not realized as it was not our local one and we had not visited first.

However we finally managed to persuade 2 lovely retired ladies to accompany us from some fairly local shops to help out. It was stressful for a few minutes and having said we wouldnt mind if we had to postpone we actually realized we didnt want to. It resulted in our ceremony starting slightly late but as it was very quick it did not matter.

The ceremony went very well and I think the witnesses were very pleased to have been involved once they got over the initial shock. They seemed genuinely surprised by our gifts as a thank you.

We then went out for a lovely meal and we were enjoying ourselves so much that my husband decided to take the rest of the day off work instead of going back for the afternoon and we had our brief honeymoon until the babies nap ended and we had the nursery and school run!!

It was a really lovely day and all for under £100.

OP posts:
TheThingUpstairs · 15/05/2012 22:00

Congratulations!

Lovelynewboots · 15/05/2012 22:10

What a lovely story, congratulations Smile

Adversecamber · 15/05/2012 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dixiechick1975 · 15/05/2012 22:21

Congratulations - great to know it all worked out for you.

Tillyscoutsmum · 15/05/2012 22:41

Ahhhh - that's lovely. Congratulations Smile

EmmaNemms · 15/05/2012 23:00

We got married in December in a cottage in Scotland, just the registrar, us and two witnesses - very romantic! The witnesses were booked as part of the wedding package, husband and wife, one was the photographer and the other was the florist. So all very neat! They cost £75 each to witness, but as everyone says, I would imagine that most people with half an hour to spare would love to be asked!

toofattorun · 15/05/2012 23:25

Congratulations! What a lovely thread!

robino · 19/05/2012 19:30

Congratulations plantowed! Sounds lovely.

lazymonkeyface · 19/05/2012 20:21

That sounds so romantic and lovely

thefurryone · 19/05/2012 20:33

Aw that sounds so lovely and how romantic to be secretly wed congratulations Thanks

deepfriedcupcake · 21/05/2012 22:18

Congratulations!

PeppermintCreams · 21/05/2012 22:32

Congratulations! x

Goldrill · 21/05/2012 22:39

That sounds lovely - congratulations! (I wish my DP would agree to something like that!)

lisad123 · 21/05/2012 22:40

I'm in Herts Grin
We got married in carribean, and grabbed two people off the plane who were staying at our complex. We haven't seen them again Smile
Would love to do it Grin

sc2987 · 22/05/2012 00:21

I got married secretly at a registry office too (although I did take two colleagues as witnesses, not strangers). And I did tell people afterwards.

I could explain what I thought were our reasons for doing it at the time, but I was in an abusive relationship (still married but separated now) and those reasons were probably untrue.

So felicitations on doing it for better reasons!

And a warning to anyone in my shoes, don't do the same thing, as you may regret it when you later have an unplanned child with your husband, as being married gives him parental responsibility automatically and therefore a golden ticket to control you for the next 18 years :p

Fireandashes · 22/05/2012 00:34

That's lovely OP, congratulations.

I once worked in an office where we employed a series of temps. One of them, a lady in her early 50s, asked one day if she could take a slightly longer lunch (we only got 30 mins) and she'd make the time up. I thought she was going to an interview as she was dressed a bit smarter than our usual casual office wear. She came back from lunch a little bit giddy and told me she had just got married. It was a second marriage for both of them and family issues were making it a bit too political so they decided to just up and do it without telling anyone.

We had a brilliant afternoon celebrating - didn't get much work done though!

LadyRabbit · 22/05/2012 00:48

Many congratulations, OP!
May you have many many happy years together.
And what a lovely story, Fireandashes

tartyflette · 22/05/2012 02:40

Sounds a lovely idea, I'm sure you will find people only too happy to do it. Have a lovely day and best of luck for the future.

heliumballoon · 22/05/2012 03:01

Congratulations OP! Even if it was only for tax reasons, it is very lovely to have someone you love and want to be with forever! Thanks for updating.

delphiero · 19/01/2014 17:11

We're getting married in Wood Green (North London) at 10.00 in two days on Tuesday 21st, and we only have one witness. Would someone like to be a witness?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 19/01/2014 19:30

Delphiero, I'd be happy to do it if you're stuck!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/01/2014 19:32

If I lived nearby I'd be thrilled to help but I don't so bumping this for you. Good luck!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/01/2014 19:33

Oh sorted!

Nojustalurker · 19/01/2014 19:34

On a practical side do they need I'd or anything?