To think that 14 miles in a car to school is ok?

[VeryTiredMummyOf2]

It seems a long way, but that's where the school is?

Any thoughts?

Oh, and I was nowhere near as rural Scotland as some of the other posters here. In fact, was at Scotland's third largest state school, at the time..... 4 High Schools in one town (Scotland's ancient capital), and kids coming from a really large catchment area for miles around....

Our nearest state secondary is about eleven miles (one way). It's not unusual in rural areas. But it doesn't take long to drive eleven miles here, unless you get stuck behind a tractor.

OldMum and Lady Beagle - waves! And our cinema comes on the back of a lorry and we laugh at threads about which supermarket - oh for a choice.... and they think they have it hard....

Screenmachine yay

Well, where I am it's 10 miles to the closest first school, 18 miles to the closest middle school and 40 miles to the closest high school, so 14 miles doesn't sound bad. That said, I'm not sure I'd do it if i had a closer alternative.

I travelled to primary school 12 miles in one direction from the age of 4 and High school 15 miles in the opposite direction from 11. It was fine, I didn't know anything else and it didn't bother me at all. The only thing I was jealous of was people who went home for lunch. But I now do that as an adult so I didn't completely miss out!

I had to travel that sort of distance for 6th form because that genuinely was the nearest 6th form to where I lived. As they were school buses they went all around the houses so the journey took ages - leaving home about 7:30am and getting home about 5:30pm. However, if you are driving then I guess it won't take that long

I would do it if it's a good school, especially if it's sort of on your way to work and home again.

I used to take a bus home from school, a distance of about 3 miles, but between walking to the bus stop, waiting for the bus, travelling on the bus and walking from the stop to home, it usually took about an hour to get home and longer if a bus was off. That was a bit much, but half an hour or 40 minutes if it's predictable, not too bad.

My SiL does this for reasons similar to yours. She insists it is fine but to my eyes the DC have a very long day (leaving before 8, not home till nearly 5) and look permanently tired.
She's also limited to after school activities (at school) to 1 for each child. The child that isn't doing the after school activity has to go into the after school club as it's just not practical to do 2 pickups. Also as it is a junior school she is deliberately ignoring the nightmare that will occur when the oldest moves to secondary.

I did 12 miles in15 minutes to secondary school, Coach rural A road, no stops, to school on edge of town.

DDs do 6 miles, takes an hour, narrow lanes lots of stops.
Council refuse to provide lots of mini buses so coaches spend half the journey heading away from school! it still isn't full.
Primary bus was equally useless and we'd have had to pay (2.9 miles) coach route must be 10miles+

i was 8 miles but it was by school bus.. i would hate to see a parent having to drive there and back and there and back every day (surely would prevent that parent having a job?)
worst thing was i couldn't really do any after-school activities (sport, orchestra, as it was just too late home if i got stuck in the evening rush hour).

Well, obviously if you live in Katie Morag territory......!!!!!

But then every one will be doing it. That's different.

And obviously, it'd different for secondary- loads of kids travel. But my dd's best friend, for example, lives nearly 30 miles away from us! Makes seeing each other out of school practically impossible. Which is horrible.

But unless there is literally no other school then it is an insane thing to do in Primary. Think of forgotten lunch boxes and trumpets, having to pick them up if they are poorly, going to Assemblies, friends to tea, after school clubs, performances, friends to play with at the weekend...... No. We live far too far away and it's only 5 miles. Don't do it.

my 2 DDs travel 8 miles to secondary/ 6th form college by bus, and we're in the SouthEast- not nearest school, but nearest Grammar/ 6th form college. they leave 7.30, and return 4.45, but the bus does go round the houses a bit. DD2 does go to various after school activities, but at times then has to wait for an hour or so for the next available bus.
No lifts from me- work full time, and I commute an hour each way, too.

You do what you have to do. DD did Y7 and Y8 at a state school with an amazing reputation and had about a 10-15 minute journey. The school was completely wrong for her. She transferred to a school about 18 miles away at the beginning of Y9. I drop her at the school bus stop and although it is a long day she is a now a very happy girl.

I choose to live near work and school and to minimise travel times for all of us. This means our house is smaller than if we lived in the sticks - I'm surprised at how many folk choose long commutes - why not move!

maybe I manage to drive 6/7 miles each way currently (it takes 15 minutes - that's all, shorter than the walk to his old Primary) to drop DS off at school at 8.30am, pick him up at 4.45pm, and still work every weekday.

Next year when he goes to upper school, the journey will be longer (25 mins each way), but it won't impact on my job at all, as I work near the school and the school day is longer at Senior level.

I can't imagine why some of you think that a 30 minute drive means someone can't work, especially as the OP says it is convenient for her job.

A 14 mile drive is not a "long commute".

14 miles is ridiculous for a primary age child.

What if you're ill? What if the car breaks down? What if it snows? What if you get pregnant?

Remember that if you want to go home again after the school run, that's 28 miles. And another 28 miles at the end of the day. And another 28 miles to drop a friend home if one comes to tea.

If it's feasible for you in terms of logistics and it's a great school I don't see the problem. Yes, the friend thing can be difficult (my kids go to school 14k away but luckily there is a school bus) but not impossible, and there will inevitably be some people living near you. For me a fantastic school where my kids go straight through to the high school from primary (without having to think about the 200 on the waiting list for the 40 places not allocated to kids already there or siblings for Y7) trumps the convenience factor any day.

But 14 miles is not feasible in terms of logistics.

And if you fast forward 20 years and ask your kids what they think, they will remember all the parties and visits to friends houses they couldn't do. All the friends they couldn't have to tea and all the lonely holidays. All the after school things they couldn't do. Honestly.

Seeker, you are assuming the OP will be refusing to do things like take the kids to parties etc. When we made the decision to send DD to school some distance away we consciously acknowledged that we would spend a fair amount of time being taxis, I can honestly say DD has not missed out on having friends round, extra-curricular stuff or whatever because of how far we are from school.

I agree, for the right school it's doable (I did 20 miles for primary and we are doing 25 for secondary). However I'd advise a few things:

Make sure u develop a few contacts in the school area ASAP so that if u have an emergency & get stuck at work u have a backup (it happened naturally for me cos I volunteered to help with the school play every Xmas & got to know lots of other mums and actually made some brilliant friends - result!)

Be prepared to do taxi for your dc's social lives while they are small - if sleepovers are an option they work well - you may get an occasional child free fri or sat nite as may your child's friends parents, and this can help your kids get confident about staying away frm u

Car sickness - don't let them read in the car, make sure they can see out the car window, allow time for fresh air stops for nauseous little ones, ginger biccies etc

One huge unexpected advantage I find is that I get an hour in total in the car with my teenager & it is a great conversation opportunity. Also good chill out time for both of us!

Good luck whatever u decide

Being the right school doesn't make a 28 mile round trip any shorter.