To think that 14 miles in a car to school is ok?

[VeryTiredMummyOf2]

It seems a long way, but that's where the school is?

Any thoughts?

Well, it's jot a lot of point starting a thread like this OP if you're going to get all passive aggressive at being told that yes, in my opinion, you are being unreasonable.

I used to do 25 miles each way to high school by bus.
It was the closest school to us.

I wouldnt choose it, but if thats the nearest school you have no other choice really

never be completely independent until they can drive?

what nonsense.

I went to school out of area (thankfully, considering the area we lived in!). from the age of 12 I was independently visiting friends - on the train, on the bus, walking into town (4 miles) if they came to see me etc.

of course it can work.

it depends ont he attitudes of all involved, that is all.

Very tired you sound very overwrought
I would do a bit more digging and ask for more visits or pop in unannounced - good way of getting a look at what is really going on !
If you have already made up your mind then fine - go with what you have chosen as being best for your DC but you did ask ...

I think the OP would have been better off starting a thread in one of the education sections or chat. AIBU invites debate.

yeah do want you want and sod the community

i do think people should all use the local primary at least.

I said "completely independent". We live 20 minutes walk from the station, either across fields or along windy country roads with boy racers and lorries. My 16 year old dd does not want to do the first after dark, and I do not want her to do the second.

So she has to be picked up. So not completely independent.

rural living/distance from school does not equal worse than living less than a mile from the station (as I now do) but still not being able to walk home after dark, necessarily.

complete independence is something unachievable for a lot of teens regardless of how far away their school is...

and, added to that, we just had a different sort of social life.

I wnt ot see frineds (or they came to me) for a few days at a time. we didn't necessarily go anywhere after dark.

it just takes a bit of thinking outside the box.

Tons of primary schools have climbing frames Seeker - you're weakening your case by not sticking to your key point.

"complete independence is something unachievable for a lot of teens regardless of how far away their school is..."

Of course. But why make it harder than it needs to be?

because getting a better education out of it (as the OP is sure she will) is a large part of the decision.

if your children went ot a school 2 miles away, they would still be faced with the dificulties you describe. so why make it more difficult for them by living so rurally?

because sometimes, life is not about making things easy for teenagers, but about how to balance the whole family's needs.

i wish people would just be honest and say they don't want their kids to mix with the local 'oiks'

i think if an area is good enough to live in, the local school should be used. though i know that's a really old fashioned view now

I cannot use the local school for dd1, SEA. I would love to be local to dd1's school, but cannot due ot bureaucratic nonsense.

dd2 is at a local school, albeit not a state one. is it jst state schools that make up the local community, or can local preps contribute too?

But that isn't the reason why my dd doesn't go to our local school sea so for me to say that wouldn't be the truth. In fact it was not even vaguely one of our reasons!

Dd still plays with the Local children too, her local friends generally go to our local school.

Dc do mix with local children, the nursery is local, ballet, swimming all local. Also going to rainbows in a years time with local children.

Maybe I should of posted in the education thread as its become aparent that it's not the local kids but the quality of teaching

sorry hula was working my way through op's posts

came to this one too late!

There are 12 school aged children in our road. 2 are privately educated. I don't think it makes much difference to the local state schools at all. Ds contributes a lot to his local community even though he isn't at school in the village.

Lovely climbing frame and equipment in our state primary too seeker and the DC play with their friends in the playground after school.

I put their bikes or scooters in the back of the car when I pick them up a couple of times a week so that they can ride with their friends after school to a local playground. Then when their friends go home, we head back to the car and go home.

Other evenings they go to the same after-school clubs as their school friends and during school holidays they have playdates (for want of a better word) with their school friends or their friends come over to play.

So far - after a couple of very snowy winters - I've had no problems getting to school. Schools these days seem to close at the first whisper of snow, so it really hasn't been an issue.

If anything happens in an emergency it would take me 15 mins to get to school - the same time it would take someone who lives locally to walk to school.

Of course it's not ideal - we'd all love the country's best school a handy 10 minute walk from our front door. But in the real world, seeker we all make balanced decisions about what we think is best for our children. For some, the ability to walk to school outweighs all other factors. For others it's may be 2nd on the priority list.

i think it brings parents together as well as children

primary school was once a good socialiser for mums now it just divides us

there are about five mums of under 18s here where i live, none of us talk to each other, apart from one or two.

with about 12 kids only about 2 go to school together.

I agree with Seeker

southeast I can't speak for everyone, but I the primary school I travel to take DC to is actually in a less socially advantaged area than the area we live in.

Just because I don't live in the immediate local area doesn't mean I don't socialise either with the local school mums or the mums where I live - I do.