To think that he should not say or even think this??

[LucyFarinelli]

My mums boyfriend (of 10years) told me yesterday (whilst rather drunk) that i have "given him a permenant hard-on for the last 6 months"

I live with him, my mum and my DS (2yo).

What the hell do I do??

oh how horrible.

You need to move out ASAP.

If you were in your mum's situation, wouldn't you want to know that your partner was capable of saying such a deeply inappropriate thing to anyone, never mind their step-daughter?

Do he and your mum have any children together?

exactly parakeet

Damn posted too soon, meaning is any one else going to be involved in the fallout when you tell you mum.

A. Tell your mum.

B. Ask if she can help you move out quicker - or if she actually fancies kicking out the perve, instead (hint: maybe she'll get to see more of her daughter and grandson in the future if she does)

C. Make the last sentence you ever say to Mr. Pervy one pointing out that a. He's a slimeball and b. no, that's very much HIS fault and absolutely nothing to do with you OR what you happen to be wearing.

But please tell your mum. He's been in your life since you were 12 and he can think like this? Keep your little boy away from him and tell your mum that you'll be doing so.

Oh well, I bow to the consensus.

How do you think your mum will react when you tell her, OP? Has she been happy with this man?

tell your mum!!

Otherwise this is a sick horrible secret that you'll always have to think about each time you come back from uni....

No they don't have children together.

Yus That is exactly my problem. How the hell do I break this to her, and how the hell is she going to react???

Oh dear OP, you poor thing. I think you probably should tell your mum. She may not thank you for it, or even believe you, but she has a right to know. Is there anywhere you & DS can go if you move out?

I think you have to be prepared for shock, and even disbelief, at first. But I think you still have to tell her.

What DoctorDWT said

Jesus!
You can't win this. He has put you in an awful position. As I see it, you have two options.
Can you have a VERY strong word with him to shut his mouth PERIOD. Give him MASSIVE benefit of drunken doubt and lay down the law.
Or you tell your mother.
My gut reaction is tell your mother. That was an appalling thing to say to you

The fall out if telling your mother could be dreadful. But if you were my DD I'd want to know the full situation.
I am so sorry for you. What an utter grebo. Has he got previous like this with you?

Lucy, your Mum is a grown woman. If her BF is perving over her DD, SHE needs to know.

What happens next can go in one of many ways, NONE OF WHICH WOULD EVER BE ANY OF YOUR FAULT.

She has to be told. She can't be expected to do the right thing/make things better if she is kept in the dark.

You DO need to get out, or he does. If I were your mum, HE would be gone in a heartbeat. YOU come first, second, third and foremost.

Oh you pour thing, what a disgusting slime ball he is. How do you think your mum will react if you tell her? Is he usually like this?

what a total fucking shit

Could he have been pissed and trying to tell you that you had become a lot more attractive and sexy in the last few months....I know the language was crude and you were shocked but is this typical or out of the ordinary for him? Could he have somehow meant it as a compliment?

I'm not suggesting that it was the right thing to say.

My dad's good friend was really cack handed like this. He said he bet the priest got a boner when I took communion from him. I was ..... Beyond freaked out. But he was hammered and it was out of the ordinary and he was never drunk like that in my company again nor ever inappropriate.
That was 10 yrs ago. I'm just saying that maybe he didn't intend to start a sexual relationship or anything. Maybe he just made an inappropriate comment

Sorry you were freaked out

How awful!

What's your relationship like with your mum generally? And if the shit hit the proverbial would you and your DS have anywhere else to go?

You just say it.

Exactly as you said it here.

There's no easy way. But remember: one of the reasons, if not THE reason this fucker felt that he could say what he did is because he thinks you wouldn't be able to tell your mum. That he would get away with it BECAUSE of that sentence - 'How can I tell her?'

Prove the fucker wrong. Expose him. Then it's up to him to do the explaining, because it's his problem. Not yours. He did this.

But whatever you do, don't keep quiet. Your mum deserves to know and to make her own mind up about what she wants to do.

Oh and I agree you need to tell your mum but depending on your relationship with here and her relationship with him - well it wouldn't be the first time a woman chose to believe a man over her child.

good post doctor.

Another eewwwww here. I would calmly sit down with your mother and explain to her that you need help to move out sooner because of what he said, and explain that you understand it was a silly drunken statement but you're scared to be in the same house as him now. Surely someone wouldn't admit that unless they thought something would come of it (not even a bunny hmm, just hmm)

What a cunt perv!

Of course he said it's your fault. If it was his own fault that would make him some kind of perv. It's also supposed to put you off telling anyone, because it's your fault etc. you can wear whatever you chose to wear, he shouldn't be looking at his partner's daughter.

Tell your mum.

In practical terms, who owns the house? How has your mum got along with your step dad? What's your relationship like with your mum?