Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask FIL and BIL not to bring meat to our BBQ...

479 replies

37jonsialex · 06/04/2012 10:39

Ugh, i have a horrible feeling that i'm being ridiculously petty, but here we go...

We're having a family BBQ/ housewarming tomorrow. 8 of us in total (DP's parents, brothers, sisters and various partners) DP's family are all vegetarian, him and his sisters were brought up that way. By coincidence, i've been vegetarian since i was 9 and DS has been brought up as one too.

A few years ago BIL and FIL went over to the...ehem... dark side and started to eat meat again. I have no problem with this at all, their choice and none of us believe that everyone should be vegetarian.

Anyway, DP mentioned this morning that the B/FIL have insisted on bringing their own meat tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to be honest. I've been working really hard to work out a menu, so they weren't expected to provide anything. I'm always willing to except food based gifts, but i think that if you're taking food to someone's house, it should be something that everyone can eat, right? (for example, we're spending easter sunday with a friend that hates raisins, so i'm taking hot cross buns with other things in instead.)

Apart from that, our BBQ is brand new and we're the ones that will have to cook the meat and then clean off the BBQ and the plates...

Reading this back i can see that i sound like a bit of a nutter... but at the same time i think this is such an odd and disrespectful thing to do!

WIBU to ask them to leave the meat at home?

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 06/04/2012 22:14

Sainbury's used to a breaded burger made out of rice, garlic and mushrooms. They were incredibly delicious. All the rest I've tried are rank. Particularly the ones pretending to be meat. As for tofu, that reminds me of when I was little and used to eat the rubber off the end of my pencil [vomit]

OhdearNigel · 06/04/2012 22:17

But some people do feel as stronly about eating meat as others fel about not eating meat

I have never, ever heard of a person choosing to eat meat from a moral standpoint

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:20

As I have already stated Mr BO, I liked the taste of meat, as I'm sure do many Veggies who have given it up for other reasons.

I for one was over the moon when they invented Quorn........was sick of cheese salads and vegetable lasange (that was all you could get years ago).

Same old boring attitude............yawn.

CatPussWithACrownOfThorns · 06/04/2012 22:20

Ahem. ^^

Mrbojangles1 · 06/04/2012 22:25

OhdearNigel and yes they tell you their moral stand point whilest visting the caged animals at the zoo and walking around in their leather shoes mmmmm

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:26

Oh and to answer the 'pea' question Mr Bo............did you give up peas beacuse you object to 'pea cruelty?' If so, and you missed eating peas, wouldn't you be glad of those lovely little fake peas????!

Do you get it now?

Flatbread · 06/04/2012 22:30

Tofu - I have tried it several times. Smoked tofu, normal tofu, tofu in salad and curry...
I have a question. Does anyone ever regard tofu and think mmm tofu...my favourite?

I love tofu. Just had it to tonight, in fact. Local chinese takeaway makes delicious tofu in black bean sauce. Yum

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:30

OH MY GOD...........that is soooooo old. Next you'll be asking us veggies.......So, if you were on a desert island, and the only thing you had to was a bit of meat, would you????.......or if it came down to your family member dying if you didn't eat some meat, Would you????

Yes, I've heard it all, time and time again, can you not think of anything more origional? come on, try.......

Mrbojangles1 · 06/04/2012 22:31

My god sister is a vegetarian after a nasty bought of botulism form potted meat she just went off it that was 4 years ago

The insinuation that everyone is a veggie because of morals is a joke

Some people walked in at the wrong time on a farm trip and saw to much their are loads of reasons people don't eat meat

Whatmeworry · 06/04/2012 22:32

Yes, I've heard it all, time and time again, can you not think of anything more origional? come on, try.......

Oh I know one. If you have a barbecue, would you allow people to bring meat?

Mrbojangles1 · 06/04/2012 22:33

And no peas make me want to hurl and if any one did come up with a fake pea that looked and smelt like a pea but was not a pea they would need to be slapped with a wet haddock for inventing such a abomination

OhdearNigel · 06/04/2012 22:34

MrBo, I suggest you actually read the thread rather than making odd little comments about the OP trying to recreate meat. Where in the menu of " Bean burgers, Veggie sausages, kebabs with halloumi and vegetables, lots of salads, Mushrooms stuffed with blue cheese and garlic, BBQ sweetcorn etc... " is she trying to recreate meat ? Last time I looked meat-eaters did not have the monopoly of patty type preparations such as burgers.

CatPussWithACrownOfThorns · 06/04/2012 22:37

No. MrBo, they would need slapping with a vegetable based haddock substitute! Grin
Can I amend my previous statement? Im morally opposed to moral vegetarianism!

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:37

Yes there are Mr Bo, many reasons, but it seems to bother you very much, I don't know why.

Can you not just accept that people make their own choices? I would never question you about the reasons you choose to eat meat, and I frankly don't care if you visit the zoo, or wear leather either!

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:40

Yes WHATMEMEMORY............My house is a mix of veggies and meat eaters, everyone welcome here..........bring a whole cow if the fancy takes you.

Floggingmolly · 06/04/2012 22:44

OhdearNigel Where are they trying to recreate meat? Burgers and sausages?? You can't be serious!

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 22:54

It's not recreating meat floggingmolly, it's a substitute/an alternative, so veggies can have a choice. What's the problem with that?

CatPussWithACrownOfThorns · 06/04/2012 23:04

So, I have IBS. Too much fibre and carbs leave me in agony. Does that make me entitled to eat meat at a veggie BBQ?

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 23:07

I don't think you are entitled to do anything in someone elses home, without asking if it's ok with them.

CatPussWithACrownOfThorns · 06/04/2012 23:14

Ok, let me rephrase that. Does that make me eligible to have my dietary requirements met by a potential host?

Wishitwaswarmer · 06/04/2012 23:15

I think that TeddyBare earlier on in the thread provided some very balanced reasoning which for some reason got overlooked by the posters who seem to have a real problem with vegetarianism. I don't think the OP is being unreasonable at all and I am a meat eater married to a SA complete carnivore who eats meat at lunch and dinner every day at home but would very gratefully eat any food that someone was kind enough to provide for him and not give it a second thought.

fluffypillow · 06/04/2012 23:22

I can't speak for the op cat, but if it were my bbq, I would be only too happy to provide suitable food for you.

This was not the op's predicament though, as I'm sure her fil and bil do not have any dietry requirement for medical reasons, they are just being selfish.

Wishitwaswarmer · 06/04/2012 23:25

I think fluffy is right there, as they have previously been vegetarian I doubt there is any dietary requirement that they are unable to eat "vegetarian" food.

DodieSmith · 06/04/2012 23:26

They are being ridiculous. YANBU.

CatPussWithACrownOfThorns · 06/04/2012 23:29

Even if you and they knew it made you ill?

I don't agree with what Teddy said. As WhatMe said, she was suggesting that veggies had moral superiority over meat eaters.
I am morally opposed to moral vegetarianism. A fact that I explained, and was also passed over. I may eat vegetable products, but vegetable products produced specifically as vegetarian are against my principles. I think that morally, that makes us even. So, if I feel compelled to betray my moral principles to cater for a vegetarian, then I would expect reciprocation.
As I said I also said that I have a medical issue, that means that I Eat little fibre and carbs, and a lot of meat. An entire vegetable meal would make me ill.
I would be prepared to provide my own meat. IMO THE OP would BU to refuse to allow it to be cooked at her BBQ.