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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be surprised that people are judged by the clothes they wear?

297 replies

JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 08:34

Myself and DP went to do our weekly shop last night in the local supermarket.
We had both been to work then I went to the gym, he went running. By the time we finished it was getting quite late so decided to just go in our tracksuits then shower and change when we get back home.
We regularly shop in this supermarket so never gave it a moments thought until last night.
From the moment we walked in the security guard looked at us and got straight on his radio, then the whole time we were in there the staff seemed to be milling around us. Got to the checkout and the lady who served us didn't even speak until she wanted payment.
Then we went to the customer service desk (they had an offer on if you spend over a certain amount you can get disney cards for the little ones) only to be ignored! The lady actually looked at us then carried on talking to her mate!
By this time I was frothing at the mouth!

Did they think we were chav's intending to steal something just because we were wearing tracksuits???

OP posts:
Kayano · 04/04/2012 08:37

If you think people don't get judged by appearance and the clothes they choose to wear then you are naive.

If I am going any further than the corner shop or my mums I always make an effort to look smart and presentable as you never know who you will bump into.

It could have been worse. You could have been in pyjamas and uggs

Kayano · 04/04/2012 08:39

It's a sad fact of life that if I see someone in a track suit and hoodie or all in black with face covered with a scarf, I quickly check to make sure my bag is zipped up

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 08:43

I see your point Kayano but we shop in there often and we didn't have our faces covered up with a scarf nor our hoods up! I'm in my 30's and he's 40 so we definitely don't look like muggers!

OP posts:
CuppaTeaJanice · 04/04/2012 08:47

I haven't noticed any difference in treatment in shops as an adult whether I have been wearing trackies or my sunday best. When I was a teenager, however, I often got followed around shops by security guards, to the extent that I had to explain to the shop manager a couple of times that I would not be purchasing anything from their establishment due to them treating me like a criminal!!

Snowboarder · 04/04/2012 08:54

I would like to say that I don't judge people on their appearances but that is utter rubbish. Everyone makes judgement on what they can see until they 'get to know' a person, to think otherwise is naive.

In fact it's probably quite a useful trait. Many times I have had a 'bad vibe' from someone on first meeting them and steered well clear. It can only have been from how they appear, since I didn't know them.

Paiviaso · 04/04/2012 08:55

YABU, what you wear is a reflection of yourself and your attitude.

However, people who work in service should not prejudge their customers and should exhibit good customer service at all times.

It does sound like you looked like you had been working out, but maybe you are lucky and don't look the sweaty mess that I do after excerise!

...also, is there any possibility you were more likely to notice the staff's behaviour as you knew you were dressed down? Gets out psych 101 notes

Paiviaso · 04/04/2012 08:56

Ha I didn't know the *s would bold my text!

Kayano · 04/04/2012 08:56

I'm not saying you looked like a mugger, I was using that as an example of how easy it is to judge by appearance.
I don't understand why people are suprised by this with all the 'he wore and she wore' celebrity culture we have.

I am one of those who would make an effort on the school run though and be judged for caring too much what people think, while secretly judging the ones who make no effort.

Everyone subconsciously judges everyone else and it is a sad fact

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 09:02

I always make an effort with the way I look too, I was wearing a nice tracksuit and trainers!!!

But I guess what surprised me is that I still had make up on, wasn't wearing big hoop earings, didn't have my hair scraped back into a high pony tail and I have all my teeth and I still got mistaken for a chav!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 09:04

Guess I just made it clear by that post that I judge too! Blush

OP posts:
emsyj · 04/04/2012 09:07

I think it's weird that your gym outfits look the same as the 'fashion leisure wear' type outfits that some folk wear Confused. If I go straight from the gym to the supermarket it's obvious from what I'm wearing and how unpolished I look that I've come from the gym.

YABU to wear a tracksuit to the gym, don't you boil to death??

uruculager · 04/04/2012 09:10

People do judge others on what they wear but I vaguely know some very posh people with loads of money and they all dress like tramps, their homes are filthy and they drive beat up cars so it has its limitations.

I think fussing about neatness and clothes is mostly just a middle class thing.

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 09:11

How is that weird emsyj? I don't wear the tracksuit jacket while im in there and they do have air conditioning!
I don't wear lycra legging cos im too fat hence going to the gym!

OP posts:
bitterbuns · 04/04/2012 09:12

YABU to be surprised. People instinctively judge others on sight.

cabbagesoup · 04/04/2012 09:12

I think your knew you were dressed down and felt like people were looking at you! I do that too.

I recently had my car washed the car wash ripped off my spot lights and I had to make a complaint - it was the day I'd been to the dump, cleaned out the animals, elected to jump up and get dressed in my baggy weekend gear - you know I felt like they were not taking me seriously.

I actually went back on a work day dressed smartly heels etc and checked my complaint had been issued to the manager and felt like a different person -I felt in control of the situation - just by changing clothes. (and got my lights paid for!!)

I don't think is's as much as what people think of you, more about how you feel -I've seen women walking round supermarkets in full yoga gear totally looking great, and tracksuit bottoms, I guess it's confidence in what your wearing that matters!!

ramble over Right back to work!!

ThisIsANickname · 04/04/2012 09:13

YABU to be surprised that this happens. YANBU if you are implying that it shouldn't. I am always appalled at the number of people on these threads that think that just because you have judged someone based on their appearance that it somehow translates to being acceptable.

Kayano out of curiousity, how do you feel about racial profiling?

P.S. Anyone can wear a hoodie: link

BusinessTrills · 04/04/2012 09:15

Replying just to the title: YABVU to be surprised that how you choose to present yourself affects what people think of you.

Reading the OP:
YANBU to expect polite treatment from the staff behind the till
YABU to think that security staff won't use visual clues to do their job better and think "people dressed like that are, in my experience, more likely to steal stuff, so I will keep an eye on them".

emsyj · 04/04/2012 09:16

You must be really hot - you would probably be able to do more if you wore lycra crop pants (doesn't need to be shorts or anything very revealing). You may be surprised that they are more flattering than loose joggers too. My sister insists on wearing trackie bums to the gym and she gets really hot and gives up really quickly (and yes, it's air conditioned - doesn't make much difference IMO).

The lycra capris are quite flattering and really comfortable.

Snowboarder · 04/04/2012 09:19

"But I guess what surprised me is that I still had make up on, wasn't wearing big hoop earings, didn't have my hair scraped back into a high pony tail and I have all my teeth and I still got mistaken for a chav!!!"

I know you called yourself on it but you must know people judge as you obviously see hoop earrings, scraped back hair, missing teeth Confused as physical indicators of "chavishness" - you're doing it yourself!!

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 09:20

I don't think i'll be able to do more if I wore different clothes to the gym.
It's because im unfit and my legs feel like jelly after half an hour!

OP posts:
Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 09:21

I know Snowboarder

(hangs head in shame)

OP posts:
ToastofWar · 04/04/2012 09:21

Of course people do.

You did it yourself, as you have acknowleged, in you post at 09.02.

I feel for teenage boys, in this respect. So they have their hood up - does not automatically mean crim.

Unless they are wearing Addidas as opposed to Hollister Hmm

Kayano · 04/04/2012 09:21

What the actual hell are
You asking me about racial profiling for?!?!

I said I feel intimidated by people wearing hoodies with scarfs covering their faces, their choice of clothes
Makes
Them look suspicious regardless of race!

Racial profiling is wrong and we are
Only talking about choice of
Outfit so I am very offended you would even ask me about racial profiling. How bloody rude

Kayano · 04/04/2012 09:22

And you seem to be judging chav looking people yourself op so this whole thing should come as no suprise

Snowboarder · 04/04/2012 09:25

Not putting the boot in OP but maybe what you mean is "how dare shop staff judge us upstanding citizens on the clothes we wear?, save your judging for the chavs?"