To be surprised that people are judged by the clothes they wear?

[JustGiveMeTheWine]

Myself and DP went to do our weekly shop last night in the local supermarket.
We had both been to work then I went to the gym, he went running. By the time we finished it was getting quite late so decided to just go in our tracksuits then shower and change when we get back home.
We regularly shop in this supermarket so never gave it a moments thought until last night.
From the moment we walked in the security guard looked at us and got straight on his radio, then the whole time we were in there the staff seemed to be milling around us. Got to the checkout and the lady who served us didn't even speak until she wanted payment.
Then we went to the customer service desk (they had an offer on if you spend over a certain amount you can get disney cards for the little ones) only to be ignored! The lady actually looked at us then carried on talking to her mate!
By this time I was frothing at the mouth!

Did they think we were chav's intending to steal something just because we were wearing tracksuits???

I think blousy as Joan rivers type
loud brash
blousy clothes to me is pat butcher, big prints,garish,bright lippy

Maybe it is - the kind of big floaty sheer blouse that's low-cut and leopard-print .

Ooh yes scottishmummy - it triggered thoughts of Bet Lynch from Coronation Street when I read the word.

blousy is a good underused word

There is an indescribably English thing which almost cannot be recreated wilfully where women who don't give a damn can still be classified in the context of social status. I recall meeting a lady we knew old enough to be my mother in Sainsburys car park years ago. She had on flat, Clarks type sandals probably just before velcro, black ankle socks with a hole in, an old tiered and faded skirt and a gilet over something dreadful. Her hair was unkempt but quite prettily blonde and curling over a pale face with blue eyes and slightly gappy teeth. No make-up of course.

So far that says someone without a bean or a care for herself. And then one's eye was caught by a twinkle and clocked the ring on the ring finger and dainty drop earrings and all at once one realised that what she stood up in was probably worth at least £40,000!

I think you're right with the garish, bright, big prints idea - a lycra body-con mini dress, say, could be sluttish but never blowsy.

I always thought blowsy meant a bit frumpy looking. Old fashioned, dressed in a gawdy print blouse and sandals type of way.

Has been a lovely thread to read.

Feeling bit sorry to those women who think and make cut throat comments such as 'appearances matter' and 'people judge on first appearances' etc.
Sister, if you allow me to call you so, you are putting an incredible amount of pressure on yourself for no reason.

None of us is Angelina Jolie. I probably have massive thighs, you might have flabby arms, Michelle over there is a size 8 but no boobs and her ankles swell after 6pm. Louise has big boobs but has a mahoosive nose.

Lets give each other a break and find out what we really are about.....

Sorry for actually saying this but in my day blousy meant 'fat' . Agree it's a good word. I would like to 2nd flipflop but the fuss about the 'beautiful' Brick woman shows we all have a way to go before bitchiness disappears!

The important point is to have the information and understanding. It's when people don't realise they didn't get the job because they didn't wear tights or they had a tatoo or whatever that it's sad. If you have the information you need you can then take a decision about how much you want to bother and then you can live your life as you choose - either taking huge pleasure from yourself almost as "art work" and some women and indeed men love that or not really give it much of a thought. Most of us are somewhere in the middle.

I suspect I have spent a lot less time being particularly concerned about clothers than most women and indeed that may be why I earn so much because I'd rather read the FT or pursue my profession than sit in front of mirrors every day putting lipstick on, which can be massive cumulative time over a life. NOw of course for many it may be fun time and for plenty of women it has been why they are so well off because they made those efforts and hooked a very rich man and that indeed might be an easiest route to wealth than ploughing the furrow of your own working life. Each to their own.

xenia, you might find it worthwhile to read Miss Manners. Boasting about how much you earn is rather vulgar

Sorry for the essay!!

MY father and partner are constantly judged by people for what they look like, my Dad is quite eccentric and often looks a bit unusual (wild beard, hat, body warmer, torn jeans/ jumper and a general unkempt appearance) i have had on many occasions been approached by people all concerned as i have and i quote 'a tramp following me' initially i was shocked and the people were given a stern telling off about judging people for the way they look, however now as i am that used to it happening i have a variety of reactions my personal favourite is to act all concerned and frog march up to the 'tramp' (my dad) and tell him off thankfully much to my fathers amusement, you find that these people then make a rather quick exit :) although it saddens me that we are both accustomed to this happening.

On the other my partner is on the opposite end to my dad, he is 6 foot 19 stone long haired heavily tattooed man (arms/ neck) who loves his heavy metal music, i find that he is often avoided in stores, starred at etc however this does not bother him in the least bit as he is quite shy, pretty much a giant teddy bear. People are often surprised to realise we are a couple as i am completely different to him.
To the point anyway as sad as it is judging people by what they wear does happen, and no matter what i believe it will never stop, we can continue to fight this battle with the support of the charities such as the Sophie Lancaster Foundation however ignorant people will always exist.

Not a major goal. I don't earn that much. I would say my principal goals are to remain healthy and happy and have good relationships with my children and my hobbies too but earning a lot of money is huge fun for many women even if some unwisely spend it on designer clothes and not saving a penny of it. Their choice of course in a capitalist economy and sometimes that spending on clothes is what gets you the job and the higher income. I have that book on Sexual capital on my floor by Hakim although I haven't got very far with it since I bought it. She says women can be more advantaged than men as we hvae more sexual capital than men. Mind you as we don't yet have anything like enough power or money we can't be finding all that sexual capital that useful.

i'd like to earn lots of money!

"unwisely spend it on designer clothes and not saving a penny of it. "

unwise in your opinion. no pockets in a shroud.

Absolutely. I did say it was their choice. Some happily spend like water and others are Mrs Scrooge. I'm all for choice and free markets and freedom of speech.

IIMO spending on REAL designer clothes is WISE 'cos it gives employment to 'proper' seamstresses, tailors etc. and it means I can buy them 2nd hand thus giving employment to the shopkeepers\workers in the 2nd hand shops.

Only if the person can afford it though, of course

If you know quality you can pick up a skirt or a dress and know if it's cut on the bias and look at whether the pattern matches at the seams and feel the quality of the cloth. Price has nothing to do with it; the swish as you walk has everything.

All this reminds me of doing joseph (and his dreamcoat) at school.

I often am heard coming out of the bedroom singing "and when taxi tried it on, she knew her sheepskin days were gone."

We had an interesting talk i9n the car yesterday. One child (adult female) asking why none of the rest of us were so bothered about how we looked. The reasons seemed to be we had more important things to think about, just couldn't care, don't worry about what other people think about us. I am not saying any of us looked like tramps and when she said I had a lump of black on my cheek I did then rub it off but it would never have occurred to me to look in a mirror for example. I think that's wonderful. I've saved hours over the course of my life by not being very bothered.