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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised that people are judged by the clothes they wear?

297 replies

JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 08:34

Myself and DP went to do our weekly shop last night in the local supermarket.
We had both been to work then I went to the gym, he went running. By the time we finished it was getting quite late so decided to just go in our tracksuits then shower and change when we get back home.
We regularly shop in this supermarket so never gave it a moments thought until last night.
From the moment we walked in the security guard looked at us and got straight on his radio, then the whole time we were in there the staff seemed to be milling around us. Got to the checkout and the lady who served us didn't even speak until she wanted payment.
Then we went to the customer service desk (they had an offer on if you spend over a certain amount you can get disney cards for the little ones) only to be ignored! The lady actually looked at us then carried on talking to her mate!
By this time I was frothing at the mouth!

Did they think we were chav's intending to steal something just because we were wearing tracksuits???

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 09:58

nickname

skin colour isn't a choice someone makes in the morning while brushing their teeth. you cant compare it to clothing and you certainly cnt say that because someone judges based on outfit that the would also judge based on skin colour.

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 10:01

you're just being contrary
have you reached adulthood and not twigged people make judgements about clothing?
now sometimes that is accurate and sensible judgement
and sometimes it's an erroneous judgement
but the faux indignation is a bit over reaction

face it you two looked rough in tesco, and staff thought you were neds

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/04/2012 10:01

This happens to me fairly often. I am one of those people who either looks like an extra out of eastenders or I am fiercely groomed and a bit glam. I cant do 'smart casual'.

I just dont have the gene Sad

So I get to notice the different way I am treated on a regular basis. Also depends if I am on my own, out with my DS's girlfriend (sweetie, white, posh) or one or more of my kids (beautiful, brown, not posh).

I have been followed round more shops than you could shake a stick at. Sometimes I want to scream 'do you think I would risk doing time to nick something from bloody Bon Marche?!!' (disclaimer, I was looking for something for my mum)

As long as I keep my mouth shut, when I am scrubbed up, I get much better service and not so much of the following about and 'covert' radio whispering.

When I had dreadlocks the security used to go into virtual spasms Confused. Because a hairstyle makes you dangerous Hmm

Also happens to my oldest boy all the time. He is used to it. I wish he wasnt though. I can change my appearence. He is who he is (and very lovely he is too).

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:01

I wouldn't go to the gym I would stay home and eat biscuits

So you have never made a snap decision or judgement based on clothes? Never?

Never?!?!

You wouldn't think Hmm er..... If someone turned up for a job interview in an unironed hoodie?

You've never ever thought 'what are you wearing?!

You wouldn't think 'that guy is a dick' if he was wearing one of those pro-rape tshirts that were sold a while ago? Or a racist or other offensive item of clothing?

Really?!

BULLSHIT

ThisIsANickname · 04/04/2012 10:03

IAmBooyhoo I never said, nor was it my intention to imply it.

Whatmeworry · 04/04/2012 10:05

face it you two looked rough in tesco, and staff thought you were neds

Bingo. And they probably have had bad experience of neds, so....

(leaves it to OP to join the dots)

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:06

Even if you didn't mean to... You er.... Did

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 10:07

ok nickname. crossed wires. what was our reason for bringing up racial profiling in relation to the judgements we make based on clothing? the two are unconnected. one is a conscious choice and one very much isn't.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 10:07

what is a ned? is it scottish?

DoubleGlazing · 04/04/2012 10:08

I think it's sad that appearances seem to count for so much. What happened to being polite and courteous to all, and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until there's any evidence not to?

I don't think appearances say much at all really. I know some lovely people who dress fashionably or smartly, and some snappy dressers who are bitchy, two-faced and unkind. I know people who are both scruffy and unpleasant, and other people who aren't particularly well-dressed and have hearts of gold.

It's what's on the inside that counts, and I think the default should not be to judge on first sight, but keep an open mind.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 10:08

your reason.

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 10:09

Kayano Thats a ridiculous point to make!

I wasn't going to a job interview, I wasn't wearing a rape t-shirt!

I've honestly thought 'my god what is she wearing?' definitely, im not a saint but I wouldn't treat that person badly because of it!

OP posts:
AKMD · 04/04/2012 10:10

YABU, sorry. People are judged on their appearance all the time. Someone going for a job interview for a professional position could have all the qualifications and experience in the world but if they went wearing a grubby t-shirt and trackie bottoms then they would be v unlikely to get the job.

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:15

It's not a
Rediculous point to make on a thread asking if people would be judged by the clothes they wear

I am aware you were not going to a job interview because believe it or not I can actually read.

Conversations evolve. My point is that people make snap decisions and judgements in every walk of life based soley on the clothes people choose to wear and I was giving examples of when people might feel the could legitimately do this. Ie offensive T shirts or casual wear to a formal interview etc.

Hmm
scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 10:17

neds wi trackies

nice tracksuit

theonewiththenoisychild · 04/04/2012 10:18

Me and my dp were followed around and actually heard one security guard radio another about us approaching their shop all because i was carrying some re usable bags ready for our supermarket shopping Angry i was really annoyed and was heavily pregnant so gave the security guard a few words to remember Blush i wasnt wearing chavvy clothes either i was all dressed up nice and classy

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:19

You weren't pregnant we're
You? It was a hollow bump to store your loot

Am I right? Wink

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:20

Were* bloody phone. Why are phones so shit?

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 10:21

I could think all teenagers wearing Hollister are stuck up private school brats.

Works both ways , see

ThisIsANickname · 04/04/2012 10:22

IAmBooyhoo My point in asking about the racial profiling was specifically to do with Kayano's comment about seeing someone's appearance and checking to make sure her bag is closed. I wondered where the line from acceptable judgement to unacceptable judgement was, and clearly for her it is at something they cannot choose (like race).
Had she been up for an actual debate on the subject I'd be happy to introduce the idea of determinsm, peer pressure, conforming to societies preconceptions and all sorts of other concepts which suggest that choices are not as freely made as one might initially think. Meaning that the people she happily judges because of their choices might not actually be making those choices. But it has been made very clear that the subject is closed. So I am going to leave it at that.

theonewiththenoisychild · 04/04/2012 10:23

Pmsl that bump was full to bursting and my backpain and waddle were proof of that. I was furious they thought i was nicking stuff me and dp dont have a lot of money but we dont take what isnt ours to take

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:23

Then you really need to reassess how your post came across then.

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 10:24

My DD was always being followed around shops with her buggy , because she was a young mum , not because of what she wore,

Kayano · 04/04/2012 10:24

I think anyone wearing Hollistar must have amazing night vision, have more money than sense and be up their own arse lol

Original poster
JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 10:24

Oh FFS Scottishmummy your being very childish today!

Kayano I really cannot be bothered to respond to your posts anymore.

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