AIBU to want a fucking reply when I text!!! Rant needed.

[CrapBag]

There is a large group of us who are friends. There is only 1 out of the whole lot that I can rely on to text back at all. I always reply, even if I am unable to do it straight away, I will at the next available opportunity.

I find it rude tbh. It doesn't take more than a minute. It will often be a question as well. Last night I sent out a group text to 10 of my friends. I got 2 replies. Today I sent 12 about an activity for next week. I have had 3 replies. I know I won't get any more than that. I know that when I see them and ask "did you get my message" it will be the usual "oh yeah, I meant to reply to that". The same excuse every single fecking time.

And it isn't me, my other friend says the same and will often text me as she can rely on an answer.

Does anyone else think it is rude? And if you are one of those who don't reply, seriously - its irritating. Just take a minute from your day to answer, particularly when its asking a question.

Before anyone says about not communicating by text, it is the easiest way when you are trying to organise group activities.

God, it is so annoying when people don't reply and rather rude to. The only time i don't reply is when i am sleeping.

Errr, no, it is rude to pick up your phone and respond to a text when in company of other people.
My phone is not permanently glued to my side.
I do not look at it when with others, I would consider that very rude.
Why should it get priority?

Therefore I look at my phone as and when I remember and am on my own (or home with dh, he does not count ) The rest of the time, when with friends, with other mums chatting at the school gate etc my phone does not come out of my bag.

I hate this 'you must be contactable instantly and at all times' mentality that has come about with mobile phones.

Bloody intrusion!

Ummm - you'd wait till the cows come home for me to text. Just because you want immediacy doesnt mean my life revolves round yours.

Rhino with that logic if it was vital the person phones and your busy, you don't pick up and they leave a message and then you assess whether to get back to them? Is that not just the same as sending a text?

This is the easiest way of organising group events. I hate texting. I'll read a text when I'm busy and forget all about it Email is much better, if I'm ina rush (often) I'll flag and look again later.

I won't text if I am talking to someone, god that really does my nut in. I can't see my sister without her constantly looking at her phone, I'm not that bad. But at some point in that day, a reply to a direct question would be curteous.

My phone is generally at the bottom of my bag, sound off, emergencies only.

I am a nightmare to get hold of.

Well, I'm not, because in the evenings, I answer my landline phone. But people seem not to do that any more

Rhino, are you one of the friends?!

I do find people who don't reply at all flaky and/or rude. I certainly don't expect an answer to a text straight away, nor do I answer straight away myself, but if someone texts me, I will reply.

My BIL is infuriating. Even when it's something important he will forget to reply. I could strangle him.

Oh ok Rhino

Well i don't always reply straight away, at work i can't as i only have access to my phone on my lunch break. But i do reply when i can.

I agree with Rhino and Behind. Also, if someone is asking about a particular date, then I would need to check on the calendar before committing to anything - which would need to wait until I got home by which time I may well have forgotten about the text anyway.
Not everyone is on contracts with loads of free texts either, which might be a contributory factor.

Of course, some people might just be at work, and therefore not arranging their social lives.
Some people might not have their phones turned on, or even with them.
There's 101 reasons why people might not instantly reply.

What's wrong with checking your phone every few hours!

Why? you'd be lucky if I check my emails every few months.

The clue is in IMS = instant messaging service - not IRS -= instant reply service.

Choice of course, in whether the recipient wishes to communicate. I have been known to leave my phone in the amusement of several more hysterical texts will come when someone is demanding attention. I don't pay any heed to attention seekers at all.

I agree with you.

You didn't say drop everything and reply, which would have been unreasonable but a reply at the - what was it you said? 'first opportunity' ? That's totally reasonable.

I also don't have a home phone, so my mobile is out next to me most of the time at home, so that may be why i reply quicker than most.

I treat text messages like emails. If they're important i'll respond to them.

OP, I totally agree with you. It drives me mad....I don't expect an instant reply, but within a couple of days would be nice, esp if askign a specific question about a get together. It's not always easy to ring, kids being noisy in background etc.

The thing that winds me up more, is the friends that don't reply to texts, always seem to have their phones glued to them when I see them and think nothing of checking and replying to texts in front of me!

(I know what you're thinking...get the hint dashi....)

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a reply to a question.

Texts can be a far more useful and less intrusive method of communication than a phone call. Especially if all you need to do is check whether someone is available for an event. I can't see the point in having a mobile if all you plan to do is proclaim that you aren't prepared to use it.

I have a friend who is a nightmare with her phone. You can ring it, text her or leave messages. Every now and again she returns a message. Usually long past the time when there was any point in replying since whatever was being arranged is long past. I wouldn't mind so much if she wasn't someone who gets rather hurt when she discovers she's missed something either.

Personally, I think it is rude to pride yourself on ignoring messages.

Ok, so most of you are just like my friends rude flakey and consider me unimportant.

Therefore I am going to go ahead, arrange the thing I have asked everyone about for when I want to and around the couple that did reply, inform everyone else and if they want to come, they can, if they bleat about how they can't make it then but can do it so and so time - tough tits, you should have replied when I asked.

Bloody hate mobile phones. Hate that people can get me at any time. Hate that they know that I know they've called. Hate that they expect an instant reply to texts or voicemails.

Wish I had the guts to not have a mobile.

I refuse to phone my friends to arrange something. So many different people would have different things on at different times that to arrange something as a group would be a nightmare. I also have a friend who won't answer her phone in the day anyway so that is pointless, then she is always busy in the evening. Funnily enough she will sit an text others when I have been sat there, and this is one of my closest friends so I know she isn't sending me any 'messages'

I also have a friend who gets hurt at not being included in things, but she never ever replies and always lets people down when she does, so she can't complain about it really.

I still stand my OP and think it is rude and very annoying.