AIBU to want a fucking reply when I text!!! Rant needed.

[CrapBag]

There is a large group of us who are friends. There is only 1 out of the whole lot that I can rely on to text back at all. I always reply, even if I am unable to do it straight away, I will at the next available opportunity.

I find it rude tbh. It doesn't take more than a minute. It will often be a question as well. Last night I sent out a group text to 10 of my friends. I got 2 replies. Today I sent 12 about an activity for next week. I have had 3 replies. I know I won't get any more than that. I know that when I see them and ask "did you get my message" it will be the usual "oh yeah, I meant to reply to that". The same excuse every single fecking time.

And it isn't me, my other friend says the same and will often text me as she can rely on an answer.

Does anyone else think it is rude? And if you are one of those who don't reply, seriously - its irritating. Just take a minute from your day to answer, particularly when its asking a question.

Before anyone says about not communicating by text, it is the easiest way when you are trying to organise group activities.

So because I have a phone I am rude not to reply to texts immediately? Err no - doesn't work like that in my world.

And if you say JUMP! I won't be asking you how high? Either!

Sounds like the majority of your friends think YABU and so do I.

IShallWearMidnight obviously anyone with half a brain can see that those are exceptional circumstances (or maybe not so exceptional, depending on where people might live) and would take them into consideration.

No one is saying that you have to reply immediately, just at some point, when you get a chance, and when it is convenient to you. If it is never convenient to you, then fair enough, but you surely can see that that could be construed as rude? It's effectively blanking someone. Completely different if you have told people not to bother texting you as you don't reply to them (like my mum), but I don't think that is the case in the OP's case.

Get a grip my hands are often full of DCs I'll get a text, k ocj it off so phone doesn't bleep all the time - then carry on with what I am doing - mean to answer but forget.

You want an answer - ring me.

I think text is a rude and impersonal way to communicate.

I find that people use their mobiles very differently. Some play with them constantly and others (like me) are never sure quite where they are.

I have some friends who respond to texts immediately and others who take days. I am fine with either. I am not very reliable as it depends on the busyness of my week and whether or not I've lost my phone (again).

I do have a pet irritation with people who text etc during conversation with others. I think it's incredibly rude.

Because if I answer the phOne you'll get an immediate response - I often forget about texts for days and days

And I knock my phone on speaker so I can on with things and speak

Well I am busy too but I find texts HELP me in my life, its much easier to dash off a quick "yep sounds good count me in" text while on the move than having to find time to phone and discuss, chat etc. I actually have a few text " templates" drafts set up with positive / negative / have to check calendar and get back to you on that, type responses so I can read a txt and fire off a reply. Even if it's a holding one ie will check and get back, at least the person gets a response. In the evening I treat my texts like a list of emails, ie I go back thru them with my calendar and dh to hand as required and reply as needed. Keeps me straight, I don't forget things, (mostly) and I feel I am getting back in good enough time to the person asking.

If someone is good enough to take on the task of being the groups social secretary I feel it's only polite to respond and make their life easier as I know I sure wouldn't want that role full time so I am grateful to my friends for making the effort to organise things and include me, so I reply. I don't consider myself or my time to be so so so important. I am not that self obsessed, I don't think I am anyway.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST RING IF YOU NEED AN URGENT RESPONSE?

There, that's better.

*get on with things and speak sorry for typo

It's not about time being important - it's about Hands full and forgetting.

just call, instead of txt.

For me, a call is much quicker than txting as I am a slow txter with an ancient phone, call is also nicer.

I had a friend who took forever responding to my very occasional texts....sometimes days.

She was the same with phone calls too....

In the end I got fed up with it, realised that things were obviously pretty much one way and...to cut a long story short...we are friends no more!

Yeah, but, see, in order to reply to your message I'd need to know you'd sent one in the first place. Which would mean switching the bloody thing on. The only time I notice I've got messages is the rare occasions when I have cause to make a call on the mobile, and then I get a couple of weeks' worth all at once. I just don't want to be at the end of a phone for everybody all the time, and fortunately there's no law that says I have to. One day everyone will have a communication device grafted into their head at birth, but with any luck I'll be long dead before that day comes.

Have to say that sometimes it takes me a while to see a text message....

Oh yes and let's not forget the texts I never see - is the ones the DCs manage to open and then I find them weeks later when I am clearing out old texts.

I too was frequently irritated by people who didn't respond to texts, but am now trying to be more understanding - people are busy, can't find phone, phone switched off, can't answer a question straight away etc etc, it isn't all about me.

However....I still get cross with people who text me asking for a favour or something like sponsorship etc, I respond reasonably promptly, sometimes with a question, sometimes offering whatever it is they've asked for, then....nothing. That feels pretty rude to me. I have a SIL who does this frequently and though I can predict it, it still drives me mad, because she always answers my sister's texts immediately (I asked sister). SIL doesn't really like me and this is her passive-aggressive way of showing it, I think. DH, on the other hand, thinks I think too much.

I tell people not to text me.

My phone is so useless it doesn't even have predictive text, so I absolutely do not text anyone which means I won't be responding if you text me. If you need to get ahold of me, then ring me or send me an email.

I still get texts, but I don't open them. About once a month I select "delete all" and then I don't have texts anymore.

I agree with everything you just said toomuch

I have to ask my patients...."do you have an answerphone?.....and do you listen to your messages?" Many hospitals/clinics etc leave messages on peoples answerphones about appt times, so if yours autodelete and you get discharged for not turning up, don't blame us!

But you need to ask for the patient's consent before you leave an answerphone message, as you do not know who might be able to hear it. So, a patient will not consent to you leaving a message if they do not listen to them. Or are you another NHS employee who breaches patient confidentiality?

It seems a bit pointless some of you having phones being as they are switched off / not looked at / messages deleted without being listened too / not answered

TBH a lot of you sound a bit "I am too important / busy / special to communicate with others, they must access me exactly as I prefer to be communicated with or just don't bother because I am above such things" going on here that makes me a bit grumpy tbh

No Curry - probably just grew up before mobile phones and have different expectations and priorities - like attending to work things when being paid to be at work, or attending to the friend you are spending time with rather than one who is arranging something for some time in the future.

I wonder how old you think I am Back!

Some people won't answer emails. Some won't reply to texts. Some say don't bother leaving a message, I won't even listen to it. Some say you must ring on land line if you really want me. Some say you must ring on mobile and I will answer because I don't do texts.

Gah! Why not just answer people in the manner they contact you - which I believe is polite.

If you email me, I'll email you back. If you text me, I'll text you back. If you phone me, I'll answer (or call you back if I can't)

And don't give me that PA crap that you're busy working / talking. Nobody is saying you have to respond NOW backforgood. Just respond within a polite time frame rather than delete / ignore / erase which I think is just plain rude

I wasn't trying to say anything about your age, I was explaining that some people (of my age) grew up without mobiles, and do have a use for them, but can live without being attached to them, unlike some younger people (such as my ds).

If you read the thread, some people are saying they expect you to respond now/within an hour.