AIBU to want a fucking reply when I text!!! Rant needed.

[CrapBag]

There is a large group of us who are friends. There is only 1 out of the whole lot that I can rely on to text back at all. I always reply, even if I am unable to do it straight away, I will at the next available opportunity.

I find it rude tbh. It doesn't take more than a minute. It will often be a question as well. Last night I sent out a group text to 10 of my friends. I got 2 replies. Today I sent 12 about an activity for next week. I have had 3 replies. I know I won't get any more than that. I know that when I see them and ask "did you get my message" it will be the usual "oh yeah, I meant to reply to that". The same excuse every single fecking time.

And it isn't me, my other friend says the same and will often text me as she can rely on an answer.

Does anyone else think it is rude? And if you are one of those who don't reply, seriously - its irritating. Just take a minute from your day to answer, particularly when its asking a question.

Before anyone says about not communicating by text, it is the easiest way when you are trying to organise group activities.

I reply to direct questions on texts, but not when at work unless it is urgent. If it is about an appointment to meet up I will wait until I know if I am free or not before replying which may take a day or so. To me if someone texts me they are sending me a message I can reply to in my own time. They should phone me at home if they want to talk to me or want an answer soon.
I hate being asked "what's up"
"nothing is f*ing up I'm fine" would be my reply. To me "what's up" is synonymous with "what's wrong".
If you want a chat phone me on an evening on my landline for a chat. I don't do chat via texts, that's for teenagers.
Save texts for important stuff I can give a brief answer to. I am over 40 though so do regard my time as my own and don't regard myself as being at other people's beck and call just because I carry a mobile.

I will always respond to texts within a few hours, personally I prefer to communicate by text during the day - I often don't have time to chat, or am driving, and I don't need a ten minute conversation to make an arrangement that can be done at my convenience by text. Looks like I'm odd though!

everlong - I would actually prefer not to have a mobile and actually didn't for a long time. I actually had various friends giving me their old ones in despair and have now bought my own.

I do reply to texts but am shocked that peopel think it is rude to leave it a day to reply. Really things are rarely that urgent.

everlong - And how long do you think is an acceptable amount of time before they repply to your question?

YANBU I always have my phone on silent because it's a Blackberry and "blings" at me every 2 minutes. Pisses the Hubby off no end. So I have it on silent and check it through the day. If they're plain ignoring you, there's a deeper problem in your friendship because I only ignore people I have an issue with. even then, if I do have an issue I prefer to tell them what it is so that they know why they're getting the rubber ear!

I'm a little slow if I'm thinking about the answer. Usually I'm quite prompt.

Generally, a text can wait for a reply. Sometimes I don't really look at my phone until I plug it in to charge at night and set the alarm for the morning. I think if it's urgen/important you'll actually call, rather than text.

If I see a text has come in during the day which I missed I'm unlikely to reply at midnight - I've woken people doing that. I reply in the morning, if a reply is called for.

I held out against having a mobile for years as I can't think of anything worse than being constantly at people's beck and call, no thinking time while traveling etc. the phone is there for my convenience, not everyone else's.

op, change your communication strategy. obviously this group of friends doesnt find texting as easy as you do.

to the person who suggested a phone call to organise a group activity...... really? do you have that much time that you can spend five minutes per call for ten people? I certainly dont.

try fb events. or emails. If non of those methods work, then do a combination of the three and just give up on the rest. If organising an activity takes that much time, effort and angst, then it isnt worth it.

YANBU, if you are asking a question then why wouldn't someone reply? I don't understand it myself and would just go ahead with organising whatever it was without them, as I would assume that no answer means no. Unless they were phoneaphobes (made that up - did you guess?) like some of the posters on here, in which case I'd call them. But you haven't mentioned that any of them are, have you?
Obviously, some people are more attached to their phones than others, and I would take this into account when texting, but I would expect a reply to a question within a couple of days at the latest.

everlong - A couple of hours! You wpuld hate me I'm afraid. I don't see things as so urgent that they have to be answered in a couple of hours. People are busy doing their own stuff. I do think YABVU.

No, she will know, because you have texted the update. The problem there is that you are needy for the reassurance that she has seen your text.

It is incredibly rude demanding that any text you send is answered immediately. It's like walking up to someone and shouting in their face, expecting them to talk nicely. A text is an invitation to reply, not a summons that one must comply with.

everlong - If I was in a meeting all day at work I probably wouldn't see your text until after the meeting anyway. Once I had seen it I would text back saying okay.

That op actually makes me laugh it is so silly.

Well it wouldn't be within a few hours though

Not unreasonable though to expect some reply

OP if they dont reply to your texts then dont count them as coming to the group activity. if they are repeated non repliers then stop texting them. organise things without them. it's a cause and effect, no?

I don't get any mobile signal at home, nor very much in the local (walking distance) area, so any texts have to wait till I'm somewhere with a signal, AND my phone, AND have it charged. Which might be a few days or a few weeks. How does lack of signal for text recipient fit into all you "it's rude not to reply straight away" people?

Texting is the work of the devil. Text speak is even worse.

OP, did you know that text machines also allow you to speak to people