AIBU to want a fucking reply when I text!!! Rant needed.

[CrapBag]

There is a large group of us who are friends. There is only 1 out of the whole lot that I can rely on to text back at all. I always reply, even if I am unable to do it straight away, I will at the next available opportunity.

I find it rude tbh. It doesn't take more than a minute. It will often be a question as well. Last night I sent out a group text to 10 of my friends. I got 2 replies. Today I sent 12 about an activity for next week. I have had 3 replies. I know I won't get any more than that. I know that when I see them and ask "did you get my message" it will be the usual "oh yeah, I meant to reply to that". The same excuse every single fecking time.

And it isn't me, my other friend says the same and will often text me as she can rely on an answer.

Does anyone else think it is rude? And if you are one of those who don't reply, seriously - its irritating. Just take a minute from your day to answer, particularly when its asking a question.

Before anyone says about not communicating by text, it is the easiest way when you are trying to organise group activities.

I think group things are hard to arrange. The onus is on one person to make it happen.

Maybe take a break from arranging activities and let someone else take the initiative. They are more likely to appreciate the effort when they do it themselves.

I wonder how many of the non-repliers who refuse to return texts / emails / phone calls because it is not their preferred method of communication have either upset other people or missed out on fantastic opportunities. Not that they would know of course

Excellent posts by LizCat.
I think that sums it up.
People use phones differently.
I'm like Lizcat - I consider receiving a text like a message service, similar to an e-mail or an answerphone message or an invitaton in post. I deal with it when i convenient to me.
However, I have a15 yr old who is the polar opposite - will send and receive probably 100-150 texts day. He and his friends can all be together, chatting, yet will all be constantly texting at the same time.

Meh, only you can say if it's unreasonable for your friends groups. For instance, with my uni friends we rarely reply until several days later and sometimes if it's not a question more a 'we're going to be X at X if you want to join us' then i won't reply at all (and neither will they vice versa) because it's not a question, just a general invite, and that's how we work.

With my close friends, it would be unreasonable not to respond at all to a question-because that's how we work. One friend is very bad for that, she likes being chased. She was miffed when we organised (several months in advance) a hen do for a friend and she didn't get to come easily. Now this may just be limited to my friend, as i say it's nit about being busy or unsure-she admits that she likes people chasing after her. Her partner's admitted to us that it makes her feel like the center of something. Very annoying actually.

We sent out multiple invites over text, phoned and emailed her but she was very 'i'll see.' Two weeks before i needed to collect deposit money (which she knew about many times before) and she refused to answer the phone, texts and email-so i told her and others who wouldn't they'd have to arrange their own transport and the like because we weren't going to be chasing them.

Then came the night when she made an appearance and was shocked nothing had been paid for her. But I doubt many people are like her, she's pretty unique.

I would suggest just arrange with the ones who get back to you, don't chase people. If they can come, want to come, they'll get back to you. People are very busy, yes it's annoying if you are held in l'limbo' if organising it-but who's holding you there? You. Set a date of 'no replies' and if you haven't heard by then, consider that you won't and only update and arrange for those you have heard from. If they are busy and unable to attend they'll appreciate not being asked loads about it, if they aren't and are just forgetful then they'll probably have forgotten anyway and if there's a small percent like my friend it may make it clear that the world does not revolve around her. Simple.

That made me laugh rhino. Your friends have to accommodate your idiosyncrasies but you wouldn't put yourself out to answer a communication if it didn't suit you. No irony there?

Like I say, if someone texts me, I text back. If they phone me, I answer (if I can). If they email me, I mail them back. It's just polite IMHO

I use my phone for games and Twitter mostly. I'm 36.