I have 5 children, none of whom were exposed to an educational environment at the age of four where they were expected to conform to behaviour expectations that have nothing to do with accepted ideas of child development for that age group.
They were lucky enough to have been in a preschool at age four where their social end emotional development was attended to in an atmosphere where positive reinforcement was the norm and creative methods of crowd control were employed that did not involve losing sight of their stage of development.
Reading a thread like this one, with so many people speaking so harshly about this child of four, and even in full on panic mode about how she will be as a teenager unless her allegedly wild and undisciplined nature wasn't reined in now, or hinting that a classroom would descend into chaos if a teacher didn't keep a tight lid on it at all times makes me realise how very lucky my children were.
Laugh if you like but this general philosophy and these methods were the norm when it came to behaviour management in their four year old classrooms.
The underlying philosophy of the schools they attended (one place for oldest DD, another for DS, and same school for the youngest three) was that positive behaviour is built primarily on good relationships and communication, and that children innately desire good relationships, to please the people they love and care for and seek approval from them. If the relationships are not meeting the children's needs -- if the communication style and practices are poor, then the child is likely to use negative or challenging behaviour in an attempt to have their needs met.
Far from being a free for all, their classrooms were orderly and very productive and they loved going there every day. As I said upthread, I never once saw a child emerge at day's end crying or looking at all distressed and none of them ever reported distressing incidents where another child cried or where there was any sort of unpleasant atmosphere.