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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a rant about wussy women?

328 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 27/03/2012 11:28

It is possible that women in this day and age can:

mow the lawn
have theur very own email address
drive when their hubby [bleurgh] is in the car
fill the car with petrol
sleep in the house without hubby being there.

I know you're ickle and cute and pwecious, but, ffs, man up.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 27/03/2012 13:38

Gosh if a job needs doing it gets done by either one of us.

I am one of those dreadful freedomless women who don't drive though Hmm, I probably travel in dh's car once/twice a month if that, excluding holidays.

However Dh does do the building, he is in charge of all shed and conservatory erecting. I am enthusiastic at the conception and vaguely assist him during the production and then enjoy the finished result and help maintain it.

In return I have the babies, he is enthusiastic at the conception and vaguely assists me during the production and then enjoys the finished result and helps maintain them.

A fair division of labour according to gender I feel Wink

SoupDragon · 27/03/2012 13:40

"all the peeps who say mowing the lawn is hard must have fucking big lawns"

Mine is 180 feet long, 40 ft wide and slopes up towards the end and to one side. So yes, mowing the lawn is fucking hard (assuming I can start the fucking mower :o)

SpringHeeledJack · 27/03/2012 13:43

Soupy for 180 feet, I'd want one I could fucking sit on

LtEveDallas · 27/03/2012 13:46

DH's Ex was a little bit like the OP, and sometime he forgets that he is married to me now. If I'm going anywhere on my own, or with DD (basically anywhere without him) he's all "Be careful", Do you want to take the big car?" "Are you sure you know where you are going?" "Do you want me to come so I can drive?". I have to remind him that the very first time I met him I had just arrived in North Yorkshire having driven non-stop from Northern Germany.

He does do the lawn/gardening - because he enjoys it and if we are both in the car it is generally him driving (because I'm better at playing games/iSpy with DD). But otherwise I think I can safely say there is nothing he does that I wont do.

(In fact I am Chief Spider Catcher - but that's because I'll put the poor buggers outside rather than splat them)

SoupDragon · 27/03/2012 13:46

"I ahve always been independant anyway but isn't it to do with fathers and their daughters and their relationship and how she, as the daughter is treated?"

I am the youngest of three with two older brothers. By rights, I should be a pampered princess dammit :o However, my dad treated us exactly the same, despite him and my mother having very traditional gender defined roles. Thus I was taught to do woodwork, DIY, wire plugs, change tyres, basic car maintenance (all useless now as my car engine is far too complicated now!)...

He will come and bail me out if needed (e.g. cutting down trees) but, as he did everything at home and I was treated like my brothers, I've grown up with a Can Do attitude I think.

Agincourt · 27/03/2012 13:47

I once lost 6lb mowing my lawn :o but it was with a 1950s style non motored rotary mower.

I quite like doing it until my hayfever starts and then I develop burning resentment

QuickLookBusy · 27/03/2012 13:48

Agree Soupdragon ours is not a nice flat lawn, it's bumpy and slopes "gently" towards a stream.
I have a terrible image of me and the lawn mower ending up in there, with my head submerged and my legs waving around and everyone laughing at me

Kayano · 27/03/2012 13:48

My mum shares an email with my
Dad.

Just because they don't have much online business.

She will not cut the lawn - because my dad enjoys it and enters gardening competitions

She will not drive the car although she can drive. She hates driving, she hates traffic, she hates other drivers. Plus she has a free bus pass

But you know if you are going I judge someone on that, it's your loss as she is an amazing woman.

So many Judgy women around all the frickin time AngrySad

SoupDragon · 27/03/2012 13:49

@springheeledjack: Sadly it's not suited to a sit on one because of the odds slopes. However, I will be palming the job of mowing onto the oldest male in the house this year - DS1 (13) :) TBH, it's not the size, it's the slope that is the bastard. It's easy enough to walk up and down the flatter half of the garden with a mower.

taxiforme · 27/03/2012 13:49

Yes I know some one just like this..

  1. Wont drive on motorways or dual carriage ways
  2. Wont fly
  3. WONT VOTE (as she is scared of the canvassers and doesnt like the pressure of speaking to them) this really pisses me off
  4. Wont eat much including garlic chocolate and anything with fat in it or dairy or wheat
  5. Wont stay on her own in the house
  6. Oh and funny that..wont WORK..(kids are teenagers and we live five mins away..as does her mum)

Her kids have a bit of a tough time and I feel that she is giving them a very bad example. Her advice to her two daughters was to "marry a rich man".

SoupDragon · 27/03/2012 13:50

XH bought a push mower for our lawn. As soon as the thick bastard had left, I bought a self propelled one.

lainey8 · 27/03/2012 13:52

The only time I mowed the lawn I mowed through the mowers cable and electrocuted myself. Now we have gravel. I don't think my being an idiot is directly related to a lack of y chromosome though.

I totally agree that there are women out there who seem to expect to be looked after. My SIL has her sister come to stay if her husband ever has to be away over night. Just weird.

GobHoblin · 27/03/2012 13:54

I encounter these women daily at work. It makes me smile when i arrive to lift something into their trolley/put it in their car. I especially like the ones who go red and ask 'aren't there any burly men to help?' It's me or nothing princess! I optimistically think maybe next time they will do it themselves and get a grip.

sherbetpips · 27/03/2012 13:55

along with women who dont mind that hubby goes out drinking with his pals every other night (he is networking), never changes a nappy (even when wife is ill in bed), doesnt do 'kid activities' (erm why did they have them) and generally treats them like a doormat - WAKE UP best years of your life spent being a servant to a pillock.

Have a few friends like that (they all say it is worth it just to have kids (I kid you not), would never say it to them directly of course, will wait until they are in their forties and getting divorced.....

gobblegobs · 27/03/2012 13:55

This woman I know can do all of that OP mentioned but would not do it as shrewdly plays damsel in distress...gets the result she wants from her DH...
Its manipulative women like her I can't stand...

sunshineandbooks · 27/03/2012 13:55

I have three email addresses all of my own Shock Wink

Seriously though I do quite a lot of gardening and DIY and get comments from neighbours all the time about how 'it's great to see a woman doing ...." which makes me laugh but says quite a lot about people's expectations when you think about it.

ThisIsANickname · 27/03/2012 13:56

Kayano that was the point I was trying to make.

Why do you all care what other women choose to do in the privacy of their own homes/vehicles? So, someone can't or won't fill their car with petrol. And? What's it to you?

And I am so sick of people confusing feminism with doing jobs that were once considered masculine. Not mowing your lawn does not make you a bad feminist; it simply means that you are a feminist who doesn't mow the fucking lawn.

These kinds of threads only ever go one way. With a bunch of women congratulating themselves that they do or do not do whatever was mentioned in the OP, and another bunch of women defending why they do or don't do whatever is mentioned in the OP.

I live my life in a way that makes me, my family and my friends happy. As long as that is true, I don't understand this compulsion to shame women based on their inconsequential behaviours.

LimburgseVlaai · 27/03/2012 13:56

taxiforme I wouldn't eat garlic chocolate either, is that a new flavour?

TheBigJessie · 27/03/2012 13:57

Well, our lawn was literally a hill with bumps from where British Gas had dug it up. I had a push mower.

You wimps.

thevjay · 27/03/2012 13:58

YANBU. My mum is like this, she's never filled up the car, and would never drive anywhere unless she absoulutley had too, she would rather pay for a taxi!!, sh never takes he bins out and has never slept in the house on her own. When my dad had to stay away overnight, my sis had to go and stay with her. She's not that old either- 55 Shock

exexpat · 27/03/2012 14:01

I think it's not the behaviour so much as the attitude behind it that annoys people - the idea that someone can't drive/mow the lawn/fill up because she's a woman and it's a man's job. And the people with that attitude who accompany it with lots of self-deprecating, silly me, aren't I a useless little woman, while fluttering eyelashes etc are particularly annoying and - I feel - set us all back a few years.

Not wanting to mow the lawn etc or not liking it and therefore getting someone else to do it is a different matter (and not a gender issue either). And of course how people divide tasks between them in their own households is their own business.

bejeezus · 27/03/2012 14:03

i know this is a light hearted thread- but- do you think it has a fundamental affect on our dds whether we do this things or dont do these things?

Im single so I have no choice, but did all things in OP when I was married and before kids.

The massive lawn issue- if you do it, you are demonstrating a 'can-do' attitude- even if it looks difficult..even if it IS difficult

?

taxiforme · 27/03/2012 14:04

lol..hmmmm..lim
garlic chocolate..sort of a good night out combo..

Ephiny · 27/03/2012 14:07

Agree with ThisIsANickname - that's kind of what I was trying to say earlier.

This reminds me a bit of the threads we get every so often about how pathetic women are if they don't answer the door to strangers at night. I do not open my door do anyone I don't recognise/am not expecting. Neither does my (male) DP. This is for good reasons and on advice from police after we were victims of a serious and violent crime followed by a campaign of harassment and threats. Even if we moved somewhere 'nice' and where those people couldn't find us, I'd probably still find it difficult to get used to opening the door to strangers, or not having a panic button and CCTV :(

You don't know everyone's circumstances or reasons for doing or not doing certain things, it's pretty offensive to label everyone who doesn't do a certain thing, especially so if that label is reserved for women.

BrianTheBrainSurgeon · 27/03/2012 14:11

I am sooooo much better than DP at DYI stuff and techy/digital stuff.

He would be LOST, I tell you without me.

However, I do often wonder if that's not a bad example for DS. For example, when a toy breaks, DS (aged 3.6) will run to me to fix it not to his dad. Sometimes I send him to daddy (knowing that daddy will struggle a bit) just so that DS doesn't think mummy women can do everything and men are wusses :(