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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have a rant about wussy women?

328 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 27/03/2012 11:28

It is possible that women in this day and age can:

mow the lawn
have theur very own email address
drive when their hubby [bleurgh] is in the car
fill the car with petrol
sleep in the house without hubby being there.

I know you're ickle and cute and pwecious, but, ffs, man up.

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 27/03/2012 12:16

i hate driving at night but only because the strain on my eyes is so painful. dont think that's a gender thing.

lukeiamyourmother · 27/03/2012 12:17

Same friend has excused her power trips behaviour by saying that she doesn't put petrol in because her father always does it for her mother and so she see's it as a chivalrous thing.

Often she gets her DP to do things just because she can and it serves her purpose to be needy. Some friends actually think her approach is great because it makes her DP so attentive.

I'm not one of those friend's btw!

ToriaPumpkin · 27/03/2012 12:17

I will admit to refusing to do things because I was pregnant, but I'd had several bleeds and developed SPD by that point so felt I was due some leeway from heavy lifting (not copying paper either, cases of stock at work) and bending down into window displays given I struggled to get up and down stairs.

Hullygully · 27/03/2012 12:17

I don't do anything I don't have to

Why keep a dog and bark yourself?

come on, people

fedupofnamechanging · 27/03/2012 12:17

Women can do all those things, if they want to - but you don't have a dog and bark yourself.

There's no way I'm lugging bins about (or killing spiders, or unblocking the loo), if I can make dh do it!

fedupofnamechanging · 27/03/2012 12:18

X post Hully

Goawaybob · 27/03/2012 12:19

Well, i can't drive - so..........

but i can - fix DPs van for him, fix the fridge,dishwasher, washing machine and i have several email addresses that my DP doesn't even know about!

SoupDragon · 27/03/2012 12:19

I think you have to leave changing a tyre out of the equation. I know how to do it but I am physically incapable of loosening the bloody wheel nuts if they've been put on with a power tool.

suburbandream · 27/03/2012 12:19

I don't know any women under 70 who can't do any of those things (apologies to all those over-70s who are quite capable of doing them!).

I choose not to mow the lawn because I can't be bothered and I know that DH will get round to doing it eventually Grin

Goawaybob · 27/03/2012 12:19

oh i can change the tyre on my bike too, was Shock at the amount of women who expressed utter disbelief that i was able to do this

Ephiny · 27/03/2012 12:20

I do know men who don't particularly like driving at night, or worry about driving abroad, i.e. on the 'wrong' side of the road. Even some who don't drive at all. Some men don't like gardening/lawn maintenance, or find it gives them backache etc.

I agree it would be very annoying if women say they can't do these things because of being female (though have never met anyone who does!). But surely it's OK to just not like doing particular activities, regardless of your gender?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's a difference between a woman who doesn't drive because 'ooh it's too hard and scary for an ickle girlie like me', and a person who doesn't drive for any of a variety of other reasons and also happens to have been born female.

lesley33 · 27/03/2012 12:20

Of course if things are really too heavy for you then ask someone who is stronger to do it. My DP who is actually a woman is stronger than me. So yes I will ask her to life or carry heavy stuff - it doesn't make sense to injure yourself after all. But thats different from being wussy about stuff.

lesley33 · 27/03/2012 12:21

ephiny - Agreed, but I think the OP is talking about women who say they can't do things like this because they are a little ickle princess. And although not very often, I have met women like this.

TheLastHappyHop · 27/03/2012 12:22

I don't drive abroad or in unfamiliar places, because I am catstrophic and navigating and don't enjoy driving. Dh loves both of these things, so he is the person best suited to doing it. Same as I'm the best person to do the garden. Neither of those things is because I'm a woman and he's a man.

TandB · 27/03/2012 12:22

I know some women who have cultivated a whole list of things they "can't manage". It gets them out of a lot of tedious tasks but makes me think they are a bit pathetic.

I don't mow the lawn mind you. It is on a massive slope and I am not physically strong enough to stop it running away down into the vegetable patch. DP mows the lawn and I butcher prune the trees.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/03/2012 12:22

I do all the driving but dh is for carrying heavy stuff and getting stuff off high shelves.

And last week I built a shed on my own Grin

I know lots of women who won't drive at night, won't go on motorways etc

Ephiny · 27/03/2012 12:23

I admit I don't lift/carry heavy things if DP is there to do it for me. That's just playing to our strengths though, he happens to be physically bigger and stronger than me, so it's easier for him to do it.

Similarly he doesn't replace computer components if I'm there to do it for him, much easier to do if you have small hands like mine, instead of his big sausage-fingers!

lou2321 · 27/03/2012 12:23

I would be happy to do all those things although we tend to just do the jobs around the house that may be considered 'mens' or 'wonens' jobs.

I do the house work (well the cleaner helps me, lol) and do the kids lunches and stuff like that. I tend to cook as I work less (well only 7 hours less - hmmm we may have to talk about that one!!!!) He puts the bins out, does the ironing (not sure how that one swapped between us) and mows the lawn. We do the other stuff like kids baths etc between us.

I put petrol in my car but if we go out altogether he automatically drives (unless we are on a night out and he is drinking).

I guess we are a bit old fashioned but only because it just kid of happens that way. On the other hand he is more than capable of doing any of the stuff I do (he's not great at cleaning but does the washing) and I hate it when men refuse to do 'womens' work!

AgathaFusty · 27/03/2012 12:24

We've got a friend who won't drive her husband's car because "it's too big", and another who has never driven outside of our local area...

I was getting all smug about doing all of these things being listed until I saw Ariels message about driving at night. I do drive at night - leave the house at 6am summer and winter so no choice about it, but my night vision is crap and getting crapper the older I get, so it's a scary business for any passenger.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 27/03/2012 12:24

I am sadly shit about sleeping in the house on my own after two wankers tried to break in last year when dp was away.

Pisses me off as I have spent years practising karate and kendo and would probably be better equipted to deal with an intruder than dp, but feel safer when he is here.

CurrySpice · 27/03/2012 12:24

My DP works away for 4 weeks ata time so I have to do all these things - but even if he didn't it wouldn't cross my mind that I couldn't - I just get on with stuff.

The only thing I've never tried is using a drill Blush but that's because I'm scared of hitting an electricity cable and killing myself. :o

lou2321 · 27/03/2012 12:24

my dad puts petrol in for my mum as she can never remember which one it takes (thats what she says anyway)

victorialucas · 27/03/2012 12:25

I think it's these women's way of levelling the relationship when they have DH's who have a similar attitude to dishes/dusting//birthday cards/plaiting girls hair/making medical appointments/etc.

Goawaybob · 27/03/2012 12:25

mowing the lawn is my job, i rather wish it wasn't

DP chops the wood and lights the fire, that is a MAN's job. The house could be falling down around his ears, but he has to chop wood and light the fire - its primal

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/03/2012 12:25

Gawd if I couldn't sleep unless DH was home I'd be a tad sleep deprived. His shifts mean that he is regularly missing until after midnight and sometimes later.