to have a rant about wussy women?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

It is possible that women in this day and age can:

mow the lawn
have theur very own email address
drive when their hubby [bleurgh] is in the car
fill the car with petrol
sleep in the house without hubby being there.

I know you're ickle and cute and pwecious, but, ffs, man up.

Sorry not read all of the thread, but I don't consider myself wussy at all, but I hate sleeping alone, always have done, for as long as I can remember, so I hate it when DH is away as I lie awake all night listening for dodgy noises!

Actually, while DH has pretty good map reading skills, he doesn't usually use them. He has a "mental map" and if that fails, we get lost (cos he is so lost that I can't find it on map). He sometimes uses the sat nav too.

Meanwhile, I DON'T have the same mental map. So I cannot immediately "know" exactly where I am going and how to get there. But I tend to be pretty good about knowing a route once I see it, figuring out as I go where I need to change etc (my mental map works on tracking as I go rather than seeing it all ahead of time), and if I really don't know - I check the real map before I start. If I get lost, I stop and ask directions. I have been given the sat nav for certain journeys (not that I WANT it usually), just in case.

But I will head off into the unknown, do long journeys alone, drive abroad (although I usually let DH have the first trip :o ) and drive at all hours of day and night, without any qualms on the part of either myself or DH.

I prefer to let DH deal with builders, technical stuff etc (he's an engineer, as well as male), but I am WELL capable of holding my own with such people. In fact, I have been known to pick up on things that the professional tradesman (that we're paying) and the resident engineer (DH) have both missed and that have been rather vital details. takes the eye of a woman

And I am another woman who knows how to use an sander, and definitely not gay

Oh dear.

I am a pwincess.

That's the whole point deliciousdevilwoman. You are not using conniving wily precious fwuffywuffy machinations to get out of these chores I am ranting about those that do.

Sigh.

I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to throw in my pennyworth.

Of all the jobs that women may leave to their DHs to sort out, my advice is not to let it be the financial side of things. Many of my friends' parents / parents' friends have been widowed and not have a clue where their money is, how to access it etc. If you find yourself on your own in the future, you can always pay someone to mow the lawn, but it's much harder to get to grips with the finances.

Of course they can do it all!
I particularly get fed up with those who can't sleep alone at night.
I was widowed with a baby-I managed.

No one knows when they might get left to do it, so they should make sure they know.(and if not they ought to keep quiet about not being able to be home alone-they don't know who is listening who doesn't have the luxury of minding).

I know someone who took a lamp to be mended and got the piss ripped. She showed me said lamp and the bulb was black where it had blown so I went with her to shop just for the giggles. They told her it would cost £20 to fix and she actually said OK even though lamp cost less than that. I then got her to buy a bulb for 80p and showed her how to change it.
I taught my DH how to do DIY but he quite likes it so prefers to do those jobs and I don't mind. It is different if you know you could do them you just choose not to.

Why is it pathetic to be scared?

Chaos-whilst I am largely unapologetic re my "limitations"-both self defined and actual on a practical level, and don't "simper" or hair flick-I can and have been wily and manipulative to get someone to do something that I can, but don't want to do myself-for whatever reason. A bit of chutzpah goes a long way, I find.

Dunno Fourlotsoftrouble I've got a clinical diagnosis, so I'm allowed to be scared of things I think.

I know a woman who was like that. He dh worked all hours but still had to accompany her by car to supermarket as she refused to learn to drive. She also went into a 30 min explanation of how she was going to a concert and her dh couldnt' come so her dh's best friend had to come the night before and stay at their place so he could accompany her to this aforementioned concert. I wasn't sure I was hearing right.

The upshot is that about 7 years later she's divorced her dh (he developed a huge drink problem and was laid off work) and had to get her first job in her late thirties.

She didn't like this much and she's met a rich man who guess what - drives her to the supermarket, takes her to rock concerts himself (he earns loads and doesn't have to work so much so he's free to do this). And she's not working ow.

I'm getting to respect this chick as actually I have a dh (her brother) and he's curiously similar in many respects (but he does work).

It's about people who are not willing to take resposibility for their own lives or contribute. Lots of them around.

DP does do car stuff but that's only cause I don't drive ... it's the crappy eyesight you know, they won't let mel.

On the other hand I do the lawn, I do the DIY, I do the bins and nothing stops me from sleeping.

I do all of the above, and do more of the driving than DH does as my car is usually where the baby seat is. I used to do all the grass cutting as my husband moaned too much about his hayfever, he took over when I was heavily pregnant and now seems to have forgotten that it used to be my job (and I'm not reminding him!). I know two women who won't drive in town and rely on their OHs to do it, they both own thier own cars and will drive anywhere else, it drives me mad!

Why is it pathetic to be scared?

Because you are an adult. We don't know what life will throw at us and you can easily be left to cope alone. If you already do it then it is much easier.

Hmm, I hope I don't fit your definition of a wuss!
-I don't drive, because I get the occasional blackout or zone-out that make me enough of a liability walking
-I do most of our food shopping, which because I don't drive (and we don't have a car) means I regularly carry heavy loads for a half hour walk
-I do nearly all the cooking -that means I have considerably more exposure to hot oil, boiling water and sharp knives than OH! But having worked in a cafe and outdoor field kitchens I am used to that. I have several interesting scars from those experiences.
-I bleed the radiators around the house, because I feel the cold more and hence care more
-I can change lightbulbs, but since OH is one of the few people who makes me look short it is easier for him to do it. Most of our lights are a bit faffy though, so it's best to go in two-handed.
-OH hoovers, as I can't stand the noise the thing makes. If I have to do it I need my walkman on and at full volume. ('the thing' refers to every vacuum cleaner I have ever been in the vicinity of, so getting a new one wouldn't help)
-We are in the process of getting a veg garden together. I suspect I will do most of the digging and grubby stuff as I am more motivated to do it.
-OH does the financial administration as I am shite at remembering to do things like that.
-When we moved house I did most of the communal packing and, because I have a lot of books, spent at least as much time dragging heavy boxes around as OH did.
I realise there are some women who use the little princess act to get out of doing anything heavy or dirty. Just like some men are strategically useless around the house and think that leaving plates smeary gets them out of ever washing one again. On the other hand, lets not assume everyone is doing it on purpose.

christ how do some of these women survive!
I live in the sticks, driving everywhere is compulsory unless you want to become a hermit, ive worked in a petrol station on the pumps. I also chop logs with a big axe ( under DH's supervision:o) and do various farmer type tasks including heavy lifting. he mows the lawn, he enjoys it and i can't be arsed.sleeping alone is unfortunately standard for a few months of the year with DH's current work...:( i therefore have very little sympahy for friends who whine when their DH's are away for a whole night...get a grip ffs!
he does the long drives as apparently he's ill as a passenger... which is fine by me as i get to catch up with sleep!

Well I have great trouble sleeping when my dh isn't home, mainly because we were burgled when I was younger & we were all asleep while it happened.

Ok... so who is compiling the responses into a table format (with names alongside) so that we all know exactly what is and isn't acceptable in these modern times? I mean, every person on the thread will have their good reasons for any deviations (they'll admit to) from OP's list.

I haven't heard the term 'wuss' since I was at school though... it takes me back....

Well, I never mow the lawn. DH seems to think it's his job, and I think I do enough already, so I'm not about to undeceive him.

Have had my own email addresses for years - one for work and one for personal stuff. Am always a bit when female friends email me from their DH's address. I mean, it's not like it costs anything!

DH doesn't have a license so I always drive. I wish he would get a license so that he could sometimes be the designated driver.

We both put petrol in the car, though I tend to make him do it when it's cold. It's the least he can do when I'm doing all the driving. :)

We are both wusses with regard to changing the tyre. Last time, I asked a friend to help.

And DH travels frequently, was recently away for a month. I have no trouble sleeping when he is away but will admit to disliking having to lock the front door when he isn't around.

Me? mow the lawn? I don't think so! Why? Because its a job I hate, nothing to do with being scared to! I would do it should my children be lost for hours in lawn wilderness. Actually....I rather like that idea!

I can't sleep when DH is away cos the DC tag team me, if they slept I would too. DH is regularly not home from work until 1am, and I love tue odd evening to myself, I can watch crap on tv with no one to bother me.

Can do all the other things, but avoid mowing lawn cos I hate it. Same with filling the car with petrol, if the DC are awake it's a pain in the arse dragging them across the forecourt to pay. But it's mainly laziness that makes me give DH his 'man jobs'. He also hoovers as I hate it, and I do the dishes as he's a wuss about bits of food in the water touching his hands under water, not because it's a 'woman's job'

Isn't it a nice thing that everyone is different?

Who said there was one standard for "Woman" anyway?

Well, I've come to the conclusion that there is a fine line between us with tits being capable or being martyrs. I do most things eg. investigate very bad smell eminating through garage and house, it was a dead mouse behind the freezer. Had no qualms to remove and clean. Is that DHs job?

It depends what mood I'm in and whether I'm proud of doing it.

and.... a bunch of flowers for me for doing it!

When you're young(ish) and fit, you have the luxury of claiming that if you delegate certain tasks to your OH, you're not being wussy or precious or whatever, you're 'just me' or 'just playing to our strengths'.

That is not a luxury either of you will necessarily get to keep as you get older. Therefore, IMO, it's not a great idea and I do judge, I'm afraid.

My dad is 61, not an especially fit 61, and a few months ago he wrenched his shoulder so badly starting the petrol mower that it's probably permanently damaged. This is the last in a long line of injuries he's done himself because he still feels he has to do 'his' jobs and mum will do 'hers' (despite the fact my mum is the same height and perfectly capable of, eg., using a chainsaw). He cannot cook and will not learn. My mum is an intelligent woman who let him do these things for years.

This is a real problem with getting too dependent on another person to do jobs for you, or getting too insistent that certain jobs are part of your identity. There's nothing cleverly un-feminist about protesting you don't like the idea of women and men sharing jobs - it just suggests you've never bothered to think about the implications.