to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

"none of you know what i look like. how can you judge without evidence."

The evidence I have used to base my opinion of you on is in your OP.

But you see, that's the whole point. If you are taught to respect your elders, then you might be upset but you wouldn't launch into a foul mouth rant. You might be inclined to respond in a civilised fashion.

I'm teaching my children to respect their elders. It might be old fashioned but it instills some values in them. I'd be mortified if my children had witnessed me behaving like that.

Why come on this thread and ask if you were being unreasonable if you are so adamant that your fishwife tirade was justified.

Imagine that was your Grandfather sitting in that wheelchair and he had had to take the verbal abuse that you dished out - how would you feel?

" he could have said something CALMLY my reaction was directly because of this."

Why did you not say something CALMLY then? If you can't mange it, why do you think he should be able to? His reaction was directly because of the squalling of your child.

your reaction was a direct result of your vileness as a person. you were not in control of his behaviour but you were in complete control of your own. no-one, no-one forces words from your mouth. you chose those words. it is entirely on your shoulders how you reacted to him.

"...none of you know what i look like. how can you judge without evidence."

Couldn't care less what you look like, it's how you behaved that bothers me.

I have deduced that you have the emotional intelligence of a concussed duck.

However "I was wrong for swearing..." Hurrah! At last. How many posts did that take?

"...but thats it." Oh well, it's a start.

some people as the get older lose patients and can't abide a lot of noise, they are much more sensitive to things.

Yes it is perhaps it is not nice for a stranger to shout at your son. But perhaps in his own way he though by a stranger shouting the boy may have taken notice.

Sadly you and your dh let yourself down, the old man will go away with a very negative picture of parents

Helen, but you DO have a bit of a bugbear with disabled people on public transport don't you?

Were you maybe really annoyed that the man was there? Taking up space, with his wheelchair.

Forgetting the fact the person who shouted at your son is old for a moment, there are sadly a small minority of vile people in the world of all ages, just think of the racist mother gobbing off on the tram a few months back. I work with some people who speak to you like shit off their shoe and think nothing of giving you a barrage of abuse despite being there to help them. Random people on public transport, at theme parks, driving on the motorway or just whilst shopping can be vile foul mouthed and generally horrible. Sadly they aren't the type who can change their ways, but the way you react to them can be changed, and makes the difference to you being in the same league as them or having the upper hand.

What a disgusting person you are!!

My late MIL had alzheimers and this is certainly something she would have said - towards the end she couldnt stand noise, noisy kids etc and would have told your DS to be quiet without a thought........I certainly would not tolerate anyone responding to her the way you responded to that old man.

How can a stranger earn respect? You sound like you dont have any so in a few years to come when your son tells you or someone else to shut the fuck up I hope you wont mind....because he will, tiss a certainty!

Seriously, you need to have a long look in the mirror and think about how awful you have made yourself look!

Random people... driving on the motorway... can be vile foul mouthed and generally horrible.

It's a fair cop guv. But in my defence, the recipient of my vitriol is usually enjoying ignorant bliss.

yabu - you sound like a nightmare family

Stratters good point. I like to think that this would be Matthew's reaction to the news that we all agree that the OP was BU.

I can't deal with the thought of him being "pleasantly surprised" at all while I am eating lunch.

I try not to call people terrible mothers but I have to say, at least in terms of public decency, you are a terrible mother. Shame on you.

Matthew Wright's show would totally twist this whole thread, like they did with the PeppaPig one, and we would be a bunch of screeching harridans that agreed with the OP.
That's how the show works.

You are contradicting yourself OP, you finally admit you were in the wrong for swearing. "i was wrong for swearing but thats it."

But then a couple of posts later you say "if it was any other adult who shouted at my ds i would have reacted the same way."

Look, it's fine everyone. Op didn't shout at the old man, she just told him firmly. To "fuck off, you old git". No problem at all, eh?

You are disgusting! What a way to speak to an elderly man, especially in front of your children. You are a CHAV!

If I were the OP and had some of the stuff said to me which has been said here (and rightly so) I would be mortified, would be asking for the thread to be deleted, would be arguing each and every point. I can't help thinking OP is enjoying this to a degree. Even the title sounds like a boast

That is not fair on Chavs cc! We have some living near us, they don't share my dress sense, but they have better manners than the OP

Wow, I haven't read the whole 20 pages but I just can't believe you are still trying to defend your actions

"i still would have told him to shutup without swearing." You sound unpleasant. When is it OK to tell ANYONE to shut up or to fuck off in public? Neither of these are civilised adult responses. I should be stunned, but unfortunately there are far too many people who consider this kind of behavior acceptable, and then they wonder why the world isn't a nicer place.

The OP obviously felt it was acceptable to hurl abuse at an OAP or else she would not have posted it on a public forum. I think we have to accept that she is more than likely a horrid individual who is raising equally horrid brats to be just like her. Disgusting behaviour.

Helen, have you thought about my idea of sending an apologetic letter?