to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

i was wrong for swearing but thats it. i still would have told him to shutup without swearing. he scared ds. thats not acceptable to me.

I hope Matthew Wright isn't reading this after his, "foul-mouthed illiterate harpies" accusation last week.

YABU for showing us up OP. You've let Mumsnet down, you've let us down and most of all...

Bet you wouldn't have spoken like that to someone your own age who wasn't disabled would you OP?
You and your DH are bullies of the worst kind. Shame on you both. What a dreadful example to your kids.
I sincerely hope someone treats you like that when you are elderly and disabled.

You know, you could write a letter of apology to that old man, and send it to the the train company. State that the incident was on the steam train ride, and which date and time, and they might get it to him.

All it takes is for somebody to Recommend this thread on blardy facebook.

Soon we will have Daily Mail with a wanted poster for OP, like with the woman putting the cat in bin video on youtube.

Kids cry - its a fact. Old people (and indeed many people without kids) can be far from tolerant.

As a parent, I am constantly aware of these two facts and do everything in my power to prevent my child spoiling things for other people. Where possible, I would always remove my child from a situation where he is likely to irritate others.

If I'm in a confined space and it's impossible to remove him, I smile and apologise to those around me before they have a chance to complain. Usually people are lovely and understanding.

Try being apologetic rather than so aggressive.

nothing to do with disability. if it was any other adult who shouted at my ds i would have reacted the same way.

OP, I also think it is quite immature of you to have fallen out with your friend just because she didn't agree with you. You sound as though you like to get your own way all of the time.

You do understand, don't you OP, that threatening behaviour like yours in front of a child, is considered abuse.

And if your DS was more scared of an old man telling him to be quiet, than he was at your outrageous, threatening and abusive outburst, that says a lot about what he witnesses.

Which says an awful lot about you. And your 'parenting'. Like I said, abusive springs to mind.

what about his appology. do you think a grown adult shouting at a small child acceptable.

No, Matthew Wright will see that 100% of Mumsnetters think the OP is a hideous person, and be pleasantly surprised.

Did he really shout though OP or are you exaggerating. Perhaps his voice seemed loud because he is hard of hearing himself. Just a thought.

I'm going to be well narked if she answers you that question, sovery after I've asked it repeatedly

IMO, OP to use the words "shut up" is equally as uncivilised as shut the fuck up in this scenario.

This is Am I being unreasonable. You were. Accept it. Change your behaviour and become a better person or take your own advice and STFU.

As I said. If my child is behaving in a way that is likely to irritate others I apologise BEFORE they have a chance to complain. No one should have to put up with my son when he's noisy or tearful and I am mindful of that.

But WHY would you react the same way? Why? My default position would have been to have been embarrassed, apologise to the old man, and to have told my son that it's not fair to disturb everyone else on the train. I wouldn't launch into a diatribe and start ranting on about respect. Why do you allow yourself to get so worked up about something so inconsequential?

Can you really not see that you need to be able to react like an adult in these situations even if the other person has upset you very much?

Very eloquent and worth repeating.

It's irrelevant that he shouted. He is a frail old man, in a wheelchair with a carer.

He could have Alzheimers.
He could have dementia.
He could be deaf.
He could be in pain.
He could have had a stroke.

There are many, many reasons why an old man in a wheelchair is intolerant of a child crying/screaming. There are no reasons for you behave the way you did.

Well said Stratters

Oh ffs. He could have been in the late stages of dementia and be distressed and ever so confused in himself, he may have had weeks left to live, he may have been in agony with some chronic ailment. He wasn't kind but you were even worse. The fact you cant even put your hands up and accept this is testament to your character- and not in a good way.