to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

Wouldn't it just sovery. Instead she just says she would have avoided the narsty, rude, entitled old man.

Why bother even starting this thread, you seem incapable of even understanding how very wrong you were, let alone feeling any remorse or learning from it.

i was wrong for swearing but not for telling someone to back off from shouting agressively at my child.

changing it how?

i was wrong

For those at the back....

I see on your previous thread you mention your mother being more or less wheelchair bound.

Let's all hope for her sake she never encounters people like you on public transport heh?

aldiwhore 10:07
Agree - why was carer in a different carriage? I'm disabled and realise how frustrating it is to be unable to get away from noise/drafts/general aggravation, which is why I wonder why the man was left on his own.

i have said all i said in the thread btw

No. In you OP you boast that as well as telling an eldery, disabled person to fuck off you also treated him to a list of words i cant mention here.

Now you are saying all you said was "shut the fuck up you old git"

Unless "old git" constitutes a list of words unmentionable on MN.

Your retraction does make me think you must be a little bit ashamed of yourself, so perhaps there is some hope for you after all

(still no idea what the threat was)

thats true!! there wasnt anything else. why would i lie when i am being flamed so badly.

if this man had mental issues the carer would not have left him

how on earth do you know that?

i have said all i said in the thread btw

I took this to mean she has told us exactly what she said to the old man. So there was no "list of words i cant mention here" - she was dressing it up to make herself look big and tough.

Helen, it was the way you did it that was the problem and that is what people have said you were unreasonable for. If you had stuck up for your son in a more polite way then I really doubt that people would have been telling you that you were unreasonable.

Well why did you claim to have treated him to a list of words you couldn't mention on here then?

A soft answer turneth away wrath - and leaves you comfortably occupying the high ground.

Oh, FFS. There are mental issues and mental issues. Just because the man has been seated on his own for the duration of a train ride does not mean he doesn't potentially have issues of some sort. The point is, you should have made allowances, in most people's opinion. And you have asked for people's opinion, by posting here.

So you're going to start avoiding all elderly disabled people now? Lovely. Could you do us all a favour and extend that to everyone, please. Ta.

Julia- as it was a steam train, I wonder if it was one of those old cranky things where you can't really stand up? (smaller guage tracks or whatever it is?)We went on one last summer and it rally was too narrow for anyone to stand up anywhere.

Obviously the OP's husband, or even the OP herself could have offered the carer a seat next to her charge, but that was clearly never going to happen.

I am known to be gobby on occassion.
A old man in a wheelchair shouting at my child would not be one of them.

You can be firm without sounding like you've just been kicked off Jeremy Kyle.

Cant stand all that 'no one speaks to my child like that'. Telling an old bloke to fuck off doesnt prove you love your bubba more than anyone else.

It just shows a lack of control and that you are a bit of a bully.

That bloke may well have been a nasty old git but you and your OH were itimidating him because you could.

Nice.
Brave

Bloody hell I am well chavvy and even I would have been able to keep my gob shut and deal with it in a better way.

No, you were also wrong to be so aggressive, not 'just' to swear so appallingly. In front of a child, in a public place, presumably in front of other families.

Do you not understand that it just isn't acceptable to behave the way you and your DH behaved? And what is the list of words you can't say, if you feel 'shut the fuck up, you old git' is acceptable?

Funnily enough a very similar thing happened to me yesterday. I took my DS (5) and my parents out for the day to a touristy-village type place in the country. We were just walking to sit down on a bench when DS tripped and fell, then started crying. We'd just bought some food so my hands were full and I couldn't comfort him until we got to the bench, which was empty except for an elderly lady sat at one end.

As we sat down, she asked quite politely why he was crying and I explained he'd fallen down and was also hungry (DS often goes a bit 'funny' when hungry). I was looking for a tissue to wipe his eyes and the old woman just yelled out of the blue 'Oh why don't you just SHUT UP!'. I was like . I just turned to her and said calmy 'Please don't talk to my son like that.'. She replied quite sharply 'Well he needs to shut up.'. Unfortunately I then responded with 'You're the one who needs to shut up.' . In my defence I was a bit stressed as DS was upset and I was juggling food, drink, bags etc and her outburst was completely unexpected, and at no point did I raise my voice, however in retrospect a better response would just have been to repeat my first sentence again, broken record stylee . She then carried on mumbling about how she wasn't allowed to cry in her day blah, blah, blah and I just ignored her a sorted out DS who stopped crying a few seconds later and happily ate his lunch.

What I said yesterday wasn't the ideal response, however, I would never eff and blind at a complete stranger, old or young. It's unacceptable, makes you look the idiot and is inflammatory. There's a massive difference between assertiveness and aggression OP.

NO one talks to me or my family like that.

Maybe that's how the old man felt after you unleased your torrent of abuse. Nice attitude you've got there

my mom, wouldnt shout at small children. it didnt make ds better it made it worse.