Yup, also she apparently was going to call the police for something really stupid, when normally the only reason people call the police is for something serious.
Exactly.... in this case no....
God, didn't want to have to write this but anyhow, it may give a bit of clarity to the situation...
Firstly, we attended marriage counselling. First few sessions, she didn't agree with what the counsellor was saying, so she stormed out. Sometimes she would storm out after 15 minutes. After a few of these tantrums, the counsellor said, there is something seriously wrong with your wife, and you need to be as supportive as possible, and she agreed that I was doing everything possible to keep the marriage together. The counsellor then said to exDW that she needed to go to extra counselling alone, as she believed the behaviour very odd, and that she suspected that she suffered from a borderline type disorder.
Then exDW went to counselling on her own. Next minute I am being told that I am emotionally abusive, according to the "wheel". When I asked, what exactly that entailed, one issue was brought up, and one only. I must say at this stage I was in complete bewilderment of what was happening, and thought, hang about am I being emotionally abusive. Now, the issue that was brought up was one day, when I was looking after our son in the morning, still in bed. exDW came from the shower with a towel on her head. I use to get great giggles out of him in the mornings as we were playing hide and seek. I said, "Quick lets hide from mummy, as she hasn't got her make up on". Now, firstly, it wasn't an attack on her, it was just to get our son to hide... When I was a kid, it was something that we always use to joke about with our nanna... she would say, quick hide, i haven't got my make up on.. Now, when I saw this upset her, I apologised straight away... I definitely didn't say it to insult, or make fun of in any way... Maybe it was the wrong thing to have said, but then again, who doesn't make a stupid mistake in saying something, because had i known it was going to upset her, I wouldn't have said it. So anyhow, when I asked what else there was, that upset her, there was nothing. The thing that I was trying to come to grips with was, firstly, emotional abuse is constant and degrading, and is absolutely horrible.
I then got given a book, by exDW that she said her counsellor said I should read, and that was an absolutely great book on Emotional Abuse. It actually wasn't until then, that I realised I was actually in an emotionally abusive relationship.
The list became endless when I started to look at it... Firstly, I was aliened from my friends. I never had any friends, and when I did start to meet people, when they came over, she would make a massive scene and start yelling at them. She had made threats of killing herself, has had a history of this, but wasn't aware of it until after we were married. All I could see is my exDW wanting help... and I was unable to... as I was becoming greatly depreciated. It was constant choas, where our neighbour had given us a cook book, and it wasn't until I went, wow, want to use that cook book, that I found out that she had put it in our neighbours bin so that they would find it, after she had fallen out with her over a comment that she had made about our dog that my exDW had taken the wrong way.
Anyhow, all I can say, is that I am not at all emotionally abusive... and there definitely wasn't any domestic violence. I was brought up in a household were that was not acceptable, and it is a value that I really believe in..
The main problem is that her father and her family knows that there is something wrong with her and that she needs help, but can't do anything about it either. They just get yelled at and blamed, and have just accepted that it is part of her personality. The father in law, has tried to bring my son down to visit me, but then he gets threatened with all sorts.