AIBU to stop buyng The Independant because of this ad?

[NowThenWreck]

The one from Fathers4Justice, where they accuse MN of:

"carrying abusive and distressing anti-male content which promotes gender hatred against men and boys"
and, apparently, labels "men and boys as rapist, peados and wife beaters."

The ad has a lovely picture of a sad little boy with words like "rioter" and "homeless" and "sperm bank" written on his skin.

I am confused, as I have never come across a thread on here where people routinely call men paedophiles and rapists. In fact, usually, if someone implies that a man being left alone with a child is dodgy, posters will pile in and say "God, don't you know not all men are paedos.?"

As I understand it, this is a forum for discussion, not a political movement with a manifesto. There are many and varied opinions on MN, and the minute one opinion is aired, another will be along to refute it.

Or should I just laugh at F4J? The ad is quite gruesomely funny.

flippinada I don't know if I worded it wrongly so I'll try again....

It was my own experience that over the last 17 years as a school mum, these women have personally told me they're cutting their ex's out and making it difficult to see the kids because they want to move on and make a 'new family'.

It's really not uncommon in my own experience of listening to these people/witnessing it.

Hope that's a bit clearer.

Is it her house or are the mortage and the deeds in both your names auschopper?

Auschopper haven't read all of your posts so forgive me if I've missed anything but why are you paying for all that?

You are not responsible for funding a car/insurance etc for your ex. If (and I mean if) her income is what you say it is then she can fund transport herself.

Also, why not put some of your money towards paying for a better solicitor because the one you have at the moment sounds hopeless.

Also look into the council tax thing, because I don't think you have to pay council tax on a property that is unoccupied. Sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

Auschopper ...is your ex house in her name only ? If your name is on it ,get it taken off and stop paying it.

It's a bit weird isn't it that he's paying out so much. Is it court-ordered.

Nope not court ordered... I do it, because I felt it was the right thing to do..

Now, when we first separated, she threatened to phone the police, because she didn't agree with the how much money she was entitled to. Firstly the joint value of the all the properties, (her house and the marital home) was £400,000. She demanded that I give her £200,000. That was when access was stopped again. When I tried to explain to her, that although we have assets of £400k, we still have to pay the bank, and at the time we still owed them £320k.

Then access was denied loads of times over things like... I want a new car, and you have to buy it for me. I would have if we had the money, but we didn't. Then she cleaned out a bank account causing the mortgages to bounce... and well, the list is so massive, of all these types of things, it sounds ridiculous. The divorce petition was the strangest.

Look. Flippianda.

Do you really think that some women can not be spiteful?

I hate this attitude that women are always blameless and wouldn't want to do anything to emotionally harm their children.

Auschopper may be a nice guy who wants to do the best for his kid.

Lot's of men are evil gits. Lot's of women are too.

Is it her house or are the mortage and the deeds in both your names auschopper?

House is in her name.... as when we got together, and married, I didn't see the point of spending money putting it into my name. Because when you get married you think that you are going to be with this person forever, and why would they try to screw you over.

I think it's truly admirable for a non res parent to want to ensure his/her children don't lose their lifestyle, but it has to have limits. If DH and I split tomorrow we would make sure that both of us had a lifestyle that would ensure the dcs would feel comfortable with either parent. Following my parents drama (DF had an affair with a woman younger than me) I have insisted DH spends more time carving a relationship with the dcs totally independent of me.

Aus. Are you divorced yet? That unoccupied house needs to go.

And it doesn't need to be in your name for you to have rights to it.

So hang on, you stopped contact in the end but you're blaming your ex for it.

You're paying money out - your choice - but you're blaming your ex for it.

All this is very misleading auschopper. I agree with Droves, why aren't you spending your money on solicitors if your ex is doing such bad things?

"Now, when we first separated, she threatened to phone the police, because she didn't agree with the how much money she was entitled to"

What was she going to report your for?

because I don't think you have to pay council tax on a property that is unoccupied.

Yeah, you do.... you only get 6 months grace, and that is it...

better solicitor because the one you have at the moment sounds hopeless.

It isn't the solicitor, it is the courts and the judges. To be honest, I think a lot of it has to do with because I am Australian. Even though, multiple times we have shown her to be lying, the courts just dismiss it.

What was she going to report your for?

Emotional Abuse...

Stop paying her fecking mortgage , she not living there and even if she was once you get divorced your responsible for your own bills not your ex spouses ..

Pay for your son ... Visit your son .

Unless all this chucking money at your ex is a feeble attempt to prove to her your a good guy deep down and are trying to get her back via a cash incentive.

Btw that won't ever work .

I think how she left you is a bit odd. Just packed ds things and went. Only people I've known to do that are dv victims.

Still makes no sense.

You cannot be paying your ex so much that you're broke, it doesn't work like that. Have you run up loads of debt?

And still cannot work out why you're not seeing your son.

He's still talking about the marital home. It does sound like maybe he wants his wife back in it.

"I think how she left you is a bit odd. Just packed ds things and went. Only people I've known to do that are dv victims."

Yup, also she apparently was going to call the police for something really stupid, when normally the only reason people call the police is for something serious.

Aus ....your not Peter Andre are you ? < joke>

snigger

Of course individual women can behave badly and be spiteful (or whatever).

That doesn't mean that women as a homogenous group all behave badly and are spiteful.

Worraliberty, that's awful. I wouldn't say it's typical or normal behaviour for single parents as I've never come across that.

Hi fives NYac

Unless all this chucking money at your ex is a feeble attempt to prove to her your a good guy deep down and are trying to get her back via a cash incentive.

God no.... I do it because I wanted to provide for my son to ensure that he has a stable childhood.

Posie : Yes it does work like that... and yes, I have shit loads of debt now, that I didn't have before.

You use statistics (which are not facts, by a long chalk), conjecture and personal opinion to back up your arguments Nyac.

Get yourself a good lawyer, ffs. Only an idiot would pay for stuff to look like s decent guy whilst getting himself in debt without EVER seeing his child. Sure pay what you should, but NO more.

Surely a stable home for your child would be better provided by giving him a nice room at your home , and doing nice things with him on days you spend together . Helping him with homework and taking him to doctors and dentist as and when needed . Providing with him with love and boundaries in which he can grow up secure and happy into a well adjusted adult.

At no point does chucking money at an ex stupidly provide that ....especially if she is as selfish as you portray her .