AIBU to stop buyng The Independant because of this ad?

[NowThenWreck]

The one from Fathers4Justice, where they accuse MN of:

"carrying abusive and distressing anti-male content which promotes gender hatred against men and boys"
and, apparently, labels "men and boys as rapist, peados and wife beaters."

The ad has a lovely picture of a sad little boy with words like "rioter" and "homeless" and "sperm bank" written on his skin.

I am confused, as I have never come across a thread on here where people routinely call men paedophiles and rapists. In fact, usually, if someone implies that a man being left alone with a child is dodgy, posters will pile in and say "God, don't you know not all men are paedos.?"

As I understand it, this is a forum for discussion, not a political movement with a manifesto. There are many and varied opinions on MN, and the minute one opinion is aired, another will be along to refute it.

Or should I just laugh at F4J? The ad is quite gruesomely funny.

I have never, in the 8 years I've been posting on here, seen a thread on MN where "people routinely call men paedophiles and rapists."

Unless someone provides actual evidence (in which case I will eat my hat, my coat and several pairs of socks) I think we can safely dismiss it as a baseless assertion.

I'm a man and a long time admirer of mn. I only signed up a week ago, but I've been reading the boards on here since my dd (2.8) was born. I've never felt that mn hates men or brands us as anything listed by f4j. Individual posters have their moments, as we all do, and sometimes men get called names. Reading those threads usually reveals the op to be justified tho! I'm proud to be a man and proud that I care for my kids and try to give them the childhood they deserve. I'm also proud that I'm not a member of f4j. The best way to show you care for your kids is to care for them, the best way to have a healthy relationship with their mother is to work at having a healthy relationship with them. The best way to not be accused of being a rapist or wife beater is to not rape anyone and not beat your wife. All this advert shows is the huge amount of stupidity and misogyny within f4j and I would advise anyone connected with them to realise that what they feel is shame. Get out while you can and regain some amount of self esteem and leave mn alone. YANBU to help stop paying for them to get an audience.

Let's remind ourselves what the ad actually says, shall we

"We believe that the sexist labelling of all men and boys as rapists, paedophiles and wife beaters is as unacceptable as racism and homophobia".

I know that there are people on MN who love to bash the FWR section. But really. Read that. Is that MN? Anywhere? Across the board? It's ridiculous.

That is a great post Vegimal

I do think that men standing up and saying that they are ridiculous will have more of an effect than women doing so, for obvious reasons.

Indeed.

Anyone up for my challenge? I'd do it myself but I'm on the iPhone app and have no advanced search.

Not that men are ridiculous but F4J

I knew what I meant and I hope others do but you never know who is watching...

I feel sorry for The Independent. They must really be on the ropes of they need the money that much

As for the ad itself? It's not put me off and it does not represent the MN I know. If it did I would be off pretty sharpish. There are always stupid posters who spout crap like men are different and actually incapable of using a washing machine but they are a tiny minority. The majority of posters on here are clever, witty, thoughtful and kind if you ignore the AIBU vultari.

VegimalStyle - You would advise them to get out and regain self esteem? Clearly you lack any knowledge on what their campaign is about. A draconian court system that allows women the opportunity to lie through their teeth which in turn causes extreme distress for the children involved. Open your mind and realise this problem exists and look at the best ways to combat it. You say the best way to care for your kids is to care for them so you've clearly never heard of parental alienation which is a result of the current court system that favours a mother.

Great post vegimal - thanks!

Nice to see another vegimal on here, especially one that says sensible stuff and can spell vegimal.

I can tell you a few things about parental alienation. It's what happened to me after my father left without warning, leaving a note propped by the kettle and couldn't be arsed to visit for three months, despite my mother repeatedly begging him to phone his twelve year old daughter who was having a breakdown. By the time he'd emerged from his shag bubble enough to remember he had three children, we didn't want to know.

Twenty three years later he stills maintains my mother poisoned us against him.

"We believe that the sexist labelling of all men and boys as rapists, paedophiles and wife beaters is as unacceptable as racism and homophobia".

This is what the ad says Socialist. Can you have a look and provide some evidence, please, that the above is happening on MN because that's a very strong statement to make.

The current court system does not favour mothers it favours children.

Aha one has slipped through...

Can I ask a question?

How does F4J differentiate between cases where there is parental alienation (something I think is not recognised as a real "thing") and cases where children are telling the truth?

Given that the courts are secret and so you haven't heard all the evidence?

Do you think that while of course some men who join your organisation have a genuine complaint, some (most?) who have been denied contact with their children through the courts will have had that decision for good reason?

How do you tell who are the good guys, and who are not?

Oh where are these exciting FB threads?

Socialist how long have you been a member of f4j and what was the reason for your relationship break down?

And tell me please how seeing your father dressed as Batman being dragged off the tower of the houses of parliament by police does not cause your children distress?

And how does this personal attack of an advert that will cause undue stress to the child (and child's parents) used in the advert contribute to your cause?

socialist - regardless of the court system etc why is f4j attacking mn? What brought this into being and how do f4j see this as part of their campaign and how does it further their battle?

But some men like women, lunatic, and think they have interesting, valid things to say.

Honest

And some women like men, as well. Honest!

I don't see how only talking to men will remove this supposed gender bias.

You have women in your organisation. Are you going to cut their views out?

Tunip someone already had captain barnacles :( but I love those chirpy little demi-veg too!

Wow, F4J must have a bit of money spare, wonder how many of them pay maintenance?

Are there no depths to which they will sink in their hate campaign against mothers?..What a load of shite! Un fucking believable.

How can the Independant run that???.. I'd love to hear what M&S think of it.

I can't believe this. F4J have always seemed to be a very dubious organisation but this is unhinged.

I don't think there's even any point arguing it out but ime Dear Husbands/Sons/Brothers are mostly much loved and valued. I've never had the impression of misandry on any board here, including F&WR.

Just to be clear and give some context, whilst they are portraying this as a general rant about MN, the nonsense about paedos etc came from a specific post. That post said that given the low number of fathers being denied contact in the courts and that (even if F4J are right about some feminist conspiracy) because some of those must be for the most extreme reasons and many of those in the situation will deny to the grave that what they did was wrong and shout very loudly about it (as is their wont), F4J must have a higher proportion of those types within their membership.

The members didn't like that, despite the fact that they don't check out any of their supporters.