to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

I like the feminism board. anything that challenges is fine by me!

Well I'm a feminist and I hate both joy and sex. Don't even get me started on the Joy of Sex

Driving away posters, mainly. There were a few threads elsewhere on MN around that time, and it was quite striking how many posters said they didn't post on FWR any more because they felt it to be excessively hostile. I think alienation of this type is a form of damage.

Beachcomber: I'll pm rather than link threads.

I got my arse flamed red raw on Relationships once, well actually it happens quite a bit by a certain little collective of posters. They call me names and are pretty vile every time I encounter them.

I don't think that the entire relationship section should be scrapped, or that everyone over there are nasty bullies.

To all the people saying 'just report' and MNHQ will sort the 'bullying posts'

Well they don't really do anything about it do they? Although I've seen a couple of exceptions.

I mean they obviously delete the posts of people who break the rules, but some posters have 'Message deleted by Mumsnet' all over the place...sometimes in great volume but the actual poster doesn't get banned. They're just allowed to continue breaking rules day in, day out.

So I don't imagine there's much point in reporting...except to get certain posts removed...but even then you see people saying 'I've reported your post', and it's not removed for hours so everyone's read it anyway.

I think it's far better to post how you feel about these things than silently report, because only other posters can really try to put a stop to it, it would seem.

I just don't get why the answer to that problem you're seeing, meditrina, is to tar all posters with the same brush. If we weren't the actual posters who did it (and whom you didn't report which really doesn't help), what are we meant to do? If we are the posters who did it, why not report and/or say who it was? Otherwise, personally, it makes me feel as if there is no way i can post in that section without someone deciding to judge me, not for myself, but just because they had a bad experience there.

Not trying to have a go, just trying to say what it feels like from, if you like, the other side of things.

^I think its going completely OTT about what actually IS abuse, and using examples such as a guy being lazy about putting the bins out, as a feminist issue and hes obviously a mysoginist and should be dumped etc.

It deflects away from real abuse^

Okay, I'm still confused. But I'm narrowing my eyes at that last line. That's rather a trope. Stop complaining about [subject A], because you're devaluing the suffering of people with [subject B].

It's generally uttered by people who couldn't give a duck about [subject B].

I am really sad I can't change my name to DoomKittensofCognitiveDissonance. It's too long.

And also, why don't ^ work any more?

meditrina - do you mean on this thread ? Funnily enough, I was looking at it the other day when looking for some false accusation info.

It's interesting really that on this thread, those being rude, hostile, sarcastic and name callers are not the "feminist" posters.

To be honest, having insults flung at you on a regular basis can make a person feel hostile and unfriendly.

Oh sorry, we aren't talking about individuals, are we. Absolutely not.

it is interesting that some posters interpret a welcoming fwr board as one where no one's ideas are ever critiqued, or analysed

i think some people see feminism as a personal validation support group, where no matter what you post it is greeted with 'good for you, that's just great'

are there other political movements that are expected to engage with ideas/positions in this way?

There ARE a lot of threads questioning marriage at the moment-one started by myself- and this may be why the opening poster has posted this thread, if so, then if the accusation is being anti sex then I say this (with apologies for capitalisation) BOLLOCKS.

Disliking marriage and seeing it as a patriarchal structure that oppresses women does NOT equate to a dislike of sex!!

Stewie - I'll write the lyrics.

dontwakeupyet - in answer to your question, believe it or not there are actually people who come on to MN with their own agenda WRT the feminism section. Shocking innit.