to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

Well done MNHQ.

This thread has gone from 11 pages to 26 in the time it's taken me to read it all...

The OP appears to have buggered off now, having made a rather insulting post or three, leaving everyone else to fight amongst themselves - is this not a textbook kind of (dare I say it) trolling?

I don't post much of the FWR boards but I read loads. Despite not always agreeing with what I'm reading, it makes me think, and although I've had online disagreements with some posters (which have made me, momentarily, think 'ooh, how nasty'), I've gone away and mulled it over, and over time I generally come to the conclusion that they were right and I was coming at things from a skewed normality (porn, for example, it didn't used to bother me overmuch but that's because it's so bloody normalised in our society).

And even when there have been disagreements, I've not assumed it was because the poster is a horrible feminist out to get me. I really like FWR as a place to make me think, and challenge my perceptions. It's also been a source of great support when I've asked for it.

The regular baiting of the FWR regulars across the rest of MN is awful and I don't know how they cope wtih it as well as they do :(.

Oh, yet another 'the feminists are so nasty' threads, what a surprise.

As far as I can ever tell on these numerous threads is that someone posts attacking FWR. Always rudely. People post to support FWR. Feminists are attacked again, and told in a finger wagging way that 'this is not a good way to get your message across.' Loads of the posts attacking feminists are deleted. Feminists are told they are rude.

Do run along now, OP. It's been done before.

Sorry, haven't read all 27 pages. I went onto feminist pages recently. (And sorry, this has probably been said.) Looked through a few pages, found one on those poor girls who had been exploited by those (Asian, not that it matters) men, and been passed around. Instead of what I expected, some defence of those vulnerable girls, I found a poster saying something along the lines of "I'm glad they were white girls, as young muslim girls would probably have been tainted and hurt more by being victims"!s I don't remember the exact wording, but it was very dismissive.
As somebody who suffered childhood abuse being "passed around" I was shocked. Personally I don't care the colour or culture of somebody hurt, I find it inexcusable. I certainly won't be returning.

lula - That post is inexcusable and certainly not a normal post in feminism. Unfortunately you get people with vile views who post over many boards on mumsnet. Please don't think all posters are anywhere near like that.

Have been trying to find the thread but can't :( I don't want anyone to think I'm a racist-I could not care LESS the colour of a person-but I thought feminsim would at least care that these young girls were WELL under the age of consent and had been used :(

Lesley33 yes you do expect such things when a forum is very popular such as mumsnet, just made me very sad

I post and read on the feminism thread and have never read anything like that there. Maybe someone asked for the thread to be deleted if one poster was posting such offensive stuff?

What I saw was very offensive to people who have suffered abuse so maybe it was deleted

Lula: I was on the thread you mention. I think I must not have seen the comment you mention. I do however remember that the discussion was precisely on the outrage caused amongst us. The circumstances, the age oof the girls raped etc. Personally I was also upset by the reporting I had read about the subject, which avoided the word rape and used euphemisms (such as "forced to have sex"). As far as I can remember the discussion on the subject of race was in terms of how it had been reported. Many posters felt that - had the rapists been white- the story would have been treated differently.
In fact one of the staple topics of threads in the section is about rape and sexual assault, probably where the tag "antisex" comes from, because in general posters find little joy in women and girls being raped and assaulted.
The current -launched today!- MN campaign about sexual violence comes from initiatives from regular FWR posters.
Personally I would just like to make clear that I find the race of a victim completely immaterial to the crime she had suffered, in the same way I find her profession, dress, sexual habits and everything else totally immaterial.

Xpost with you there Lula I think.
If the comment was deleted you can be pretty sure that that was the result of it being reported as offensive. Unfortunately the FWR section is not immune from being frequented by people with objectionable views, just like the rest of MN. We do however have a bit of trigger happy approach to reporting offensive remarks ( it is in fact one of the things this thread has pointed to as a weakness of the feminists who post there). Not all our reports result in deletions since .MNHQ sometimes does share our opinion on what constitutes offensiveness.

I say this on every one of these (tediously frequent) threads - people seem so, so desperate to throw the baby out with the bathwater when it come to feminism on MN.

They disagree with one or two posters, or even more ludicrously one or two views, and rush to disassociate themselves with feminism in its entirety. LulaBear's comments, for example - one person posts an offensive remark on the FWR board, and so that's reason enough to dismiss the entire board and all who sail in her. The entire ideology, seemingly!

I really don't get it. Why would you expect complete agreement and uniformity of opinion (your own, clearly) when this is simply not the way discussion forums anywhere, ever in the history of discussion forums have worked?!

Get in, have the courage of your convictions and argue your case. Don't be 'bullied' off. Have your say. If you're so certain you're right then keep debating and attempting to convince people, or have them quesiton their own viewpoints. It just looks a bit flaccid and hollow and well, pathetic really, otherwise...

Sorry I can't agree with that. I wouldn't call myself an ardent feminist particularly, nor am I very left wing. The threads I have been on have been (generally) friendly and supportive and I feel it reminds me that there ARE people out there fighting our corner. I think you reap what you sew there more than anywhere else.

I would like to post again in support of the FWR board and posters.
I recently read one of the most heartbreakingly sad posts and felt inadequate to respond with the right words. So i PMed a regular poster on the FWR and told her the situation. She was supportive and immediately helped me through the situation.

The women I trust the most on MN post mainly on relationships and FWR. If i ever really needed help - that's where i would go.

They have that great thing - it's called INTEGRITY

Somebody said something offensive on the Feminism board which was reported and deleted, so you won't be returning? What a very strange reaction!

Deeply disengenuous, ming - posts are deleted if they contravene talk guidelines, as you well know.

Interesting that it's, as you say, disproportionately those, ahem, 'critical' of MN feminists that so contravened the guidelines. Obviously too many people unable to stop themselves resorting to personal attacks, etc. And yet it's the feminists who are abrasive and rude...?

I don't think that's the case, mingo. As far as I am reading it, the MN guidelines for Talk have been applied re personal attacks. Nothing to do with criticism of MN feminists.

Calm down.

Why - what do you think the reason is for the deletions? A pro-fem conspiracy within MNHQ?!

Yes, as you say - pathetic.

Yes there were ming.

You can think it's ok to veil the digs by using the some posters thing but it looks like MNHQ disagree.

Ah well, that's kind of unfortunate as it's their site and that.

Well, if it's the feminists' posts which are so rude and abrasive, why can't we all see them being rude and abrasive in black and white, with our very own eyes on this thread?

And why haven't these non-existent posts all been deleted as well?