to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

[DinahMoHum]

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

"People defending the status quo there are questioning nothing"

Can the people criticising the Feminism Boards please address the "I Believe You" campaign, because that probably wouldn't be happening if there hadn't been the FWR boards here discussing those issues and someone from that board doing the first rape and sexual assault survey. It's the types of discussions that people are criticising here that gave rise to it. Surely that's a good thing.

Nyac - What I said is a bit rude, but it's the most honest answer to the question why people don't wander onto the feminist boards.

Thanks Alice

Oh perhaps they are coming now plumpdog? I was surprised we got to this many posts without much abuse.

Yurodiviy you weren't a bit rude - you were verbally abusive. Which is why you got reported and deleted.

It's not rude, it's incredibly insulting, and it's an example of the kind of criticism that's impossible to take seriously. Calling a group of people "a cult" isn't just rude, it's an attempt at undermining and discrediting. It's the kind of thing anti-feminists say about feminists.

People do wander on to the FWR boards. Quite a few people here have posted about how much they like them and how useful they find them. They just aren't as vocal as the critics.

BTW I have reported other posts on this thread and MNHQ have been good enough to delete personal attacks on the group of posters who contribute to the FWR. Thank you MNHQ for taking this stance.

I thought I was feminist and was doing perfectly well at it, when I discovered the FWR topic. I came to learn that I know nothing at all really.

It challenged lots of pre-conceptions I had, and was pretty uncomfortable going. I have read lots, thought more, am still a work in progress.....

Aye in THIS instance because we are "scrutinising" FWR, I would say exactly the same about other boards however. I will not be linking to the previouse thread NYAC, as this would be a distraction, people are talking about how they "feel" when they interact on the FWR board.

The OP raised a point of view, it would seem that others share this point of view and like any family those that are unhappy need to be listend too, perhaps even accomadated. However it should not be the case the the FWR boards turn in to some more "vanilla" maybe just less shouty.

The sad thing is that a lot of poster do feel they are unable to post on the Feminist board.

For whatever reason, that has got to be a bad thing.

Surely Feminists should want to change the assumption that the feminist board is unwelcoming.

This thread has, imo only confirmed the steryotypes that some people have about the feminist board.

Thoses deletions are not limited to those who have critised the FWR boards Beach. There are a lot of deleted posts from those defending them

Shirley - OK, 'joyless' and 'anti-sex' is tactless and probably inaccurate.
beachcomber - exactly - it doesn't seem to have happened on this thread.
But if your responses to posters are written on the basis that that might happen, or with your approach coloured by threads where that has happened, then arguably you're moving towards tarring posters who really would like to be included in genuine discussion with a troll brush.
As I've said, I can well understand the reservations of posters who genuinely want to be involved in FWR discussion - and have valid points make - because they feel that what they have to say will be stonewalled. And I think this is a shame.

Oh well I feel that the people who feel uncomfortable there probably hold sexist views and don't like them being challenged. I also feel that people would like to see FWR neutered which is what this constant criticism is about.

Whose feelings are the most important? Anybody can post anywhere on the boards.

Ok then

what should an ideal feminist board look like?

what sorts of posts would be welcoming? how would differences of opinion be handled? how would posters respond to posts that they felt were in themselves harmful to women/advocating harm to women?

i really want to know please

Yes, agree with QuickLookBusy.

I am grateful for the FWR board. It has made me think and reasses my beliefs in a positive way.

I find it informative, sometimes intimidating, but always enlightening. It has changed me for the better I think.
It's given me courage.

I don't think it IS unwelcoming. I think if you THINK you are a feminist, but don't really understand what that means to the fullest extent, then you might feel that it is not for you, and might not appreciate some more robust replies. It's a learning thing - not a fluffy bunny thing.

This is AIBU, the most bolshie part of Mumsnet by far.

I don't see threads on here saying that people need to be nicer.

Politics is uncomfortable, people hold their views closely on both sides. But it's a good way to shut down the other side to tell them they are too mean.

I didn't say they were catgirl .

I was just politely thanking MNHQ for taking the stance that personally attacking a group of unnamed posters is worthy of deletion.

"probably inaccurate"?

Hahaha! Damned by faint praise indeed.

let's say a poster is saying that there are cases where the victim needs to bar at least some of responsibility for rape

I feel that is not only wrong, but actively harmful to women

how should i respond?

and I always want to nominate FWR posters for the 'fave mumsnetter' threads