To wonder if MIL will EVER chuck this shit out!

[CheshireDing]

The conversation yesterday went something like this...

MIL: We have 5 recorders in our loft, do you want them for DD?

Me: No, give them to charity

MIL: But they are DH's (my Husband not hers) and when DD starts to learn the recorder you will not need to buy one

Me: I hate the sound of the recorder, most people can't play it, she will have to pick a different instrument

MIL: We have an organ of DH's too, would DD like that?

Me: No, give it to the charity shop. I don't want the organ, musical instruments have probably moved on a bit since the 80's, I don't want the 5 recorders, by the time she might want a recorder they will have been in your loft 35 years fgs, chuck them out

MIL: Do you want a lawn mower? We have 2 in our loft?

Me: No, I have one.

Also wanted to say "why the fuck are there 2 lawn mowers in your loft when (a) you have a garage (b) you don't have any grass?"

She said she is doing an itinerary of shit in the loft for DH to say if he wants, DH has been telling her since we initially moved abroad to chuck it out. I have told him he needs to go, take the tat and then throw it away himself. Please tell me I am not alone in this tat-offering-infested-hell-hole.

If your MiL is talking about what your DH would like, it's not up to you to say that she should get rid of them. The matter is between her and him.

I find I have to give an immediate, firm "No, we already have one thanks". If I show any sign of weakness MIL is loading my car boot with crap.

Recently, FIVE boxes of DH's childhood lego!!

i know what you mean!
MIL died 2 weeks ago and dh has been going through her stuff...omg! there is tons and tons of shite.

Why do they keep it, i mean what would you need with 500 empty boxes that had taosters/kettles/irons in them??????

reciepts from 1982 in envelopes!!!

I get what you are saying and i agree....CHARITY SHOP THE LOT!

I get this from DPs too. Really shite tat too. Have just learned to say "no thanks"!

She is being genorous and where she keeps her stuff is nothing to do with you! You sound horrible.

I'm just aghast at someone heaving two lawnmowers up to the loft I'd like to have seen that.

recognise this too.

last year we were going on holiday and my mother tried to give me some manky, smelly, ten year old snorkelling equipment from my sisters kids that she'd kept for my son.

then she tries to keep great big bags of clothes from them (there is an 8yr age difference between them ffs) no i don't want to store worn out boy standard clothes to save for 8 years time.

bog standard

Ha ha but I heard her offer it to DH and Bil yesterday then me Britannia - they had both rejected it and told her to chuck it.

Gosh do you really think a faded single duvet cover from when DH was 16 without a matching pillow cases is generous PingPong?

Should I put the biscuit in my loft?

I asked why the lawnmowers were in the loft. They said they didn't know they had just put them up there.

It wasn't until DH reminded me after that they have no grass it seemed even more ridiculous!

I think it's because back in the day this stuff was really really expensive and they like to think it's useful to you to save you money.

It works better with somethings than others, snorkelling equipment being a not so good example.

I'm with ping pong on this. You sound mean and unkind.

She didn't know when her son stopped playing the recorder that it would be years before any GC came along. Maybe they were things that PIL scraped to afford. Maybe they see that these things still have use left in them, and don't accept that they should just be binned (more landfill?). Charity shops won't take lawn mowers. Free cycle hasn't been around all that long.

To the other poster turning up her nose at 5 boxes of Lego - words fail me. That represents £100s to buy. Sure, just chuck the lot.

I don't think you sounds very nice and it's none of your business what she keeps in her loft. If you don't want it, just say no.

Omg no matching pillow case? No wonder you were furious

sounds sound

Well at least she has made a start at clearing it out...

DS is now 8 and I estimate I've spent £500 on his clothes over his whole life. The rest has been hand me downs from family, including 'standard' boys clothes. Yes, I did have to keep some of them for a few years until he grew into them. It would have been ridiculous to buy him new trousers to roll on the grass in.

Ignore those who say you don't sound nice they are always like this clearly don't have to deal with constantly turning down inappropriate shite.

We have the same & it's incredibly wearing. You feel ungrateful, but we found that the 'just say thank you' experiment caused an avalanche of tat, at a time when we didn't have a car to take it to the tip!

We also get it with new, reduced shit that she's bought but is totally inappropriate. A size 22 ball gown 'for dressing up, it was only £2 in m&s'. I'm a 12 & dd is 2.

It's not even kindness, it is definitely a compulsion. So no need for the chorus of pity for mil. Ironically she gave away a box of 300 of DH's CDs to a charity shop, Inc imports etc. The minute we got our own place he offered to take them from the loft & she went all quiet. Odd.

No suggestions though, We're still trying to deal with it 10 years on!

I think she means well and is trying to help. Just politely say 'No, thank you'. She isn't trying to piss you off.

I understand that stuff probably had to be saved up for "in the old days" but in which case why would you have 5 recorders and 2 lawnmowers?

Why would you keep a dyno for a pushbike and not have the pushbike? (yes that doesn't take up much space but it all adds up).

Also why keep 2 parts of a vacuum cleaner and then try and offer them to me for our vac, which is not the same make and has all the parts it needs? DH told her to throw the vac parts. She took them home and put them in the loft.

As Swallow says it's the storing off stuff for 8 years, or 35+ years in MiL case, it is a bit mad.

I took a whole pile of baby clothes to the womens refuge last month so I don't think I am mean actually I just don't understand why "no" seems to fall on deaf ears.

At least she asks first! My MIL moved recently to a smaller house and kept bringing round bags of DHs stuff i.e stuff that has been in her loft since he left home 19 years ago!
It's now cluttering up our house until I can persuade DH to go to the tip.

Ignore those who say ignore those who say you don't sound nice. They clearly don't have the ability to say no and therefore would rather moan on MN about it.

Agree with Tidy.

I have the same problem with both my mum and mil. I say now but when I leave either house I still find gems such as a hamburger press or broken remote control aircraft wedged in my car.