To wonder if MIL will EVER chuck this shit out!

[CheshireDing]

The conversation yesterday went something like this...

MIL: We have 5 recorders in our loft, do you want them for DD?

Me: No, give them to charity

MIL: But they are DH's (my Husband not hers) and when DD starts to learn the recorder you will not need to buy one

Me: I hate the sound of the recorder, most people can't play it, she will have to pick a different instrument

MIL: We have an organ of DH's too, would DD like that?

Me: No, give it to the charity shop. I don't want the organ, musical instruments have probably moved on a bit since the 80's, I don't want the 5 recorders, by the time she might want a recorder they will have been in your loft 35 years fgs, chuck them out

MIL: Do you want a lawn mower? We have 2 in our loft?

Me: No, I have one.

Also wanted to say "why the fuck are there 2 lawn mowers in your loft when (a) you have a garage (b) you don't have any grass?"

She said she is doing an itinerary of shit in the loft for DH to say if he wants, DH has been telling her since we initially moved abroad to chuck it out. I have told him he needs to go, take the tat and then throw it away himself. Please tell me I am not alone in this tat-offering-infested-hell-hole.

You see my DM is a little bit of a martyr about this sort of thing. We go through the following routine every time she comes to stay:

DM: Is there anything you need us to bring?
Me: No thanks. Just yourselves.
DM: What about anything from your room?
Me: There's nothing left of mine in my room. I left home 16 years ago and I'm pretty sure I took everything I needed.
DM: Shall I double-check anyway?
Me: There's nothing left.
DM: I'll double-check...

...and then she'll turn up at my house with something completely random! My favourite was an empty bottle of Cava.

She visits 7 or 8 times a year. EVERY time we have this conversation.

I wouldn't mind but a couple of years ago, I sorted through my old room and charity shopped / binned anything that was left so that they could turn it into an office. When I next visited she'd rescued most of the charity shop stuff and put it back in my room. It's never yet become an office and it's this stuff that is now making it's way to my house piece by piece by piece...

Do you know what though, it's actually very sweet and I have to remember that my junk is part of her life and past too. She's just not quite ready to let go yet and I'm sure I'll feel the same one day. Hard to judge when quite frankly I can be just as barking!

If it's at their house you just refuse to pick the stuff up. If they bring it to your house then "you left this behind, thanks for the thought but we don't want it and I'm too busy this week to go to the charity shop". I probably would start to sound annoyed and stroppy if someone regularly brought crap. Thankfully my relatives don't do this. Occasionally fine, presents they bring occasionally that aren't to your taste but are meant well fine, visiting every time with carrier bags of crap they won't take home with them not fine and a habit that needs to be stopped if they don't want me dreading their visits.

This is so funny to read as my IL's are like this too.

FIL has now died but he would upgrade items of his and then foist the old version onto us, whether or not we wanted it. However, we were expected to hang on to it forever. Years later he would ask where's that xx I gave you? Incredibly infuriating!

MIL moved to live closer to us after FIL died. She needed to get rid of loads of stuff as she was moving to a smaller place. She keeps on giving us stuff we neither want or need. She doesn't want her home to be cluttered, so she is cluttering ours instead.

Just last week she wasking DH what would happen to her bed when she died (how cheery - she is not on her death bed or anything). She has bought lots of new furniture for her new home, and spent a fair amount of money on it. She really can't bear the thought of something not being used for it's full life.

And from the OP. Why would any one person need 5 recorders?

I wouldn't say no to old organs - they are collectible, as many people threw them they became rare and as they have unique sound they are used in recording studios.

I was given a pregnancy book by my MIL which she had when she was expecting my DH. He was 28 when she gave us the book, lovely thought but I think the advice may have moved on a bit. Some good pics in it though

My MILs house was like that but I dont blame her entirely.
She had 12 DCs and they were always buying her stuff. They would also palm off their unwanted stuff onto her and she could never say no.
I think people do that to hoarders and its very unfair.

The parlour was so full of china animals you couldnt get in there. Some of them were lifesize . There was a lot of 'look I love mum most because I bought her the biggest thing' going on.

It was a massive house but was rammed full of stuff. She loved it all though. She was happy.

She didnt try and give us stuff by OH's sisters have

Oh a massive stuffed toy that is absolutly filthy - thanks very much. He would bloody bring it home too. I had to Put My Foot Down.

But I have also been given some very nice things so I shouldnt moan but I do

My MIL presented me with DH's old terry nappies when DS was born. They were 30-odd years old, stained and like cardboard.

Most of the stuff she passes on to us is either worn out, broken or downright lethal, although there have been one or two that aren't bad.

My Parents are compulsive hoarders. Their massive loft was stuffed full of junk - some of it old broken toys but mostly old electrical items, and every carboard box from every electrical item ever bought - "just in case it breaks and I need to take it back". I offered to clear it all out as would rather do it whilst they are still alive - I took 5 car loads to the tip in our people carrier - that was only half the loft - DF insisted there wasn't much in the other half - just a few books. That was until my DM phoned and said someone was coming to insulate the loft - and the rest needed clearing. The other half was full of every left over roll of wallpaper and carpet offcut they had ever had - in 46 years .
That was only the start of it - every room in the house is bursting at the seems with "stuff". Eg:If we have too many DVD's, we have a cull - they just buy another piece of furniture to store them on! Same with books and clothes. Trouble is they are too old to sort it all out for themselves now, so it is down to us to sort it a bit at a time when we visit - but they are reluctant to get rid of most things even though they are unlikely to use it again.
They don't try and pass it on to us though!!!!

I feel your pain OP PILs are always trying to foist things onto us. Sometimes they "bring" things for us when they come to stay so we really can't say no then - 35 year old Bullworker anyone?

My gmil who is a lovely woman is a bit of a hoarder. She has her ds1 s terry nappies upstairs -god knows what she keeps them for- he is 57 and she is 80 so it's not like she can be thinking she might need them again!

She doesn't try to force it on us though.

Terry nappies can be useful for other things though - my dad still has an old one of mine that he uses for polishing the furniture!

Endo - if you have kept them in a wardrobe for 55 years I reckon you aren't planning to use them as dusters suddenly! (which is what I did with mines )

A plastic recorder will easily wash. I have a wooden one I treasure. Love instruments, but still don't need any more plastic recorders so would say no if offered one. Asking is fine, it's the reluctance of these women to accept no i find odd. Old men are often worse hoarders than women, not on this thread.

my MIL offers us vile stuff constantly. The first few years we always took it and got rid of it on the quiet but now I just say no thankyou. The only useful stuff has been a musical keyboard and some cutlery.

I think decades old nappies possibly wins as the rankest offering

I don't know why 1 wasn't enough either Eglu. I am going to pm the person who said about the charity in Africa though.

Other people (not MIL) have given lots of useful things over the years including kids clothes. I'm really greatful.

What is the saying ' don't keep anything that isn't useful or beautiful'

Are the recorders wooden or plastic?

Are they all descants, or does she have a range of different ones?

Cheap plastic descant ones can sound crap, nice wooden alto ones sound lovely.

There's lots of lovely music written for the recorder - it's not all Au Clair de la Lune and Frere Jacques!

Ha they are the only tunes I know for it Folk, that and Three Blind Mice I have not actually seen the recorders but if I get a pm back from the person who said about the charity I will ask MIL what they are.

Personally I think she does not want to give stuff to charity, I think she wants it all to stay "in family"

When I was little, I inherited my mum's recorder. It always sounded hideous, I'm sure, but I loved receiving treasures from my mum's childhood.

The whole lawnmower thing terrifies me though. They're heavy things, what if it falls coming out of the loft? Someone could be decapitated.

Well that's a nice idea, but only if they're worth keeping hold of, or someone wants them!

My grandma was brilliant for this sort of thing -

I thought you might want these pinking shears, they're blunt.

I thought you might want this melon, it tastes horrible.

I thought you might want this table, the leg's broken.

I thought you might want these eggs, the use by date was... er... 3 weeks ago.

If you don't hear about the charity, you could take them, and then offer them to your children's school.

"Size 22 ball gown! "

WTF??

You sound lovely, OP