To wonder if MIL will EVER chuck this shit out!

[CheshireDing]

The conversation yesterday went something like this...

MIL: We have 5 recorders in our loft, do you want them for DD?

Me: No, give them to charity

MIL: But they are DH's (my Husband not hers) and when DD starts to learn the recorder you will not need to buy one

Me: I hate the sound of the recorder, most people can't play it, she will have to pick a different instrument

MIL: We have an organ of DH's too, would DD like that?

Me: No, give it to the charity shop. I don't want the organ, musical instruments have probably moved on a bit since the 80's, I don't want the 5 recorders, by the time she might want a recorder they will have been in your loft 35 years fgs, chuck them out

MIL: Do you want a lawn mower? We have 2 in our loft?

Me: No, I have one.

Also wanted to say "why the fuck are there 2 lawn mowers in your loft when (a) you have a garage (b) you don't have any grass?"

She said she is doing an itinerary of shit in the loft for DH to say if he wants, DH has been telling her since we initially moved abroad to chuck it out. I have told him he needs to go, take the tat and then throw it away himself. Please tell me I am not alone in this tat-offering-infested-hell-hole.

yes that's exactly what I should have said, 2rebecca. But I was a hormonal wreck and hadn't noticed what was going on until I couldn't get into the room. (she was "helping" us move).
And by then the alternatives in my mind were
a) cry
b) kill
c) go and lie down and wait till she left.

Lots of people would be very appreciative of 5 boxes of lego
This is worth a fair bit to sell if you don't want it

you sound a snob your dd will be playing a recorder at school whether you like it or not they do in primary anyway , Its her shit not yours all you had to say was erm no thanks , people hang on to things to pass on to familiy to save them money and not to go and buy new all the time , Yes your MIl may keep stuff but dont be so nasty about her ,

EFA - my son would be very appreciative of 5 boxes of lego.

Me, on the other hand - I think we've got enough of the bloody stuff already. It's EVERYWHERE.

I wouldn't want a 30 yr old recorder. Imagine the amount of dusty, dried-up spit in it! Yuk!

I turned my nose up at some piece of shite my dad tried to give me.

The next thing he gave away was a massive plasma tv. It wasn't to me though

you could always wash it and sterilise it in milton just saying

My daughters got some of their dads toys lego and weebles dd1 loved them , my mum shoves everything in the bucket keeps nothing , so she had nothing left of mine to pass on even if i wanted them , you dont have to take any of the stuff on offer a no thanks is fine , my mil hoarded what i would class as shite i refused alsorts , but what is shite and i unimportant to us isnt to them .

I love it when people call it 'carriage return'

I've not long got in from my SiLs. She is a hoarder. She has the airline ticket stub from when she came to my wedding, she has a beer mat from somewhere she stayed 35 years ago, she has shelfs of books she's never read nor will ever read, she has a house full of shite.
She was trying to foist some wooden mice things onto DD. I said the cats would eat them.
OP YANBU - I'd like one of their lawnmowers though if it has a collection box.

My DH wanted the train set he had when little (he had a converted loft for it then) but I put my foot down and said no as we had no room for it. He has since signed a binding contract that once his parents are no longer around a couple of skips will be hired to get rid of all their junk.

My own mother on the other hand is a true minimalist. When I needed my O'Level certificate, and various other certificates her response was: Oh you never asked me for them before so I threw them away years ago! The O'Level board was long ago abolished but the HND certificate cost me £25.00.!

I'll have the boxes of lego as well. Take the stuff and do a car boot sale, OP! Or freecycle it. Don't put stuff in landfill.

2rebecca personally, I hate waste and actually enjoy sorting/decluttering. And some of that crap is probably worth money and/or could be used by someone else if the OP doesn't want it. But I take your point. The OP could also smile, accept the MIL's offerings and throw the lot in the first skip she passes on the way home. The point is that the MiL would be happy and over time the amount of crap she's hoarding will be reduced.

For all those worrying about the lego - don't worry, we accepted it with smiles and thanks, and it's now in our attic!

I'm sure it will come into it's own or if not, we can sell it.

I just thought 5 boxes was an unusually large amount to be taking up room in anyone's loft!

To be fair I didn't realise it's street value was equivalent to that of diamonds

You know, you could do her a huge favour and take the lot

and take it to charity shops / recycle.

oh, what's that, MIL, where's the X? Oh, it broke. Oh it didn't work so we had to throw it away. Oh, DH gave it to who didn't have one, they were thrilled and we knew you'd be pleased it was going to someone who was going to get use out of it.

Before you know it, they'll have a crap free loft

Not all primary schools do recorder lessons. In our case, it's a voluntary lunchtime club.

And to those who think all you have to do is say a polite "no, thank you", this does not always work. A friend of mine has a mum who is constantly trying to foist rubbish on her "in case she needs it". I've heard my friend telling her mum a polite no thanks repeated until she was blue in the face, and her mum still left the stuff behind when she left.

I'm not a hoarder, I only keept stuff I want, although I will have a chuck out no and again. My DP thinks I AM a hoarder, but this may be projection I could fill a skip with his stuff, but have settled for slowly clearing stuff out and checking with him over some of the stuff no and again.

A couple of years ago I visited DMIL. She pulled out a HUGE cardboard box; maybe three foot high and four foot wide. Remember when you used to drop off films to be developed at Boots? Remember they came back in cardboard envelopes? Every single film she'd had developed since the 60s/70s were in there. Every envelope slung in there, unlabelled and most def not in albums. Plus the plastic packets of school photos. She hadn't even cut out the photos and put them in cardboard frames

I am NOT sorting them out when the time comes. Bin bin bin.

I'll re home the recorders. Various charities send thrn to Africa where surprisingly the opportunity to make music makes children unfeasably happy.

I'm a hoarder from hoarder parents. They also do the in appropriate bargains and chazza stuff. I've learned to tolerate it. It has made my kids nicer people I reckon- eg ds got a black bow tie for his 16th - great as he needs them for concerts...... But it's black and orange shot silk lololol!!! ( cost about 20p in accessorise ..). Ds managed to say thank you in a polite caring way and get I and eat his pound shop chocs!

These " interesting" pressies do " come in - dd2 has today worn a gold sequinned bolero thing that mum gave her years ago- to perform " songs from the shows" at school!

Really odd stuff gets quietly charity shopped WHEN SHE'S NOT HERE or we'd end up with " this is like the one you live I thought you'd like a spare"!!

Gah. My MIL/PIL have loads of stuff. They generally don't try and fleece it off onto us, so cant complain, its their problem, but still just thing arghrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

When we go and stay there, there is absolutely nowhere to hang anything. This is because all the wardrobes are absolutely chock-a-block with shit. SIL's first wedding dress from nearly 20 years ago, which resulted in the most acrimonious of divorces. Its got moth holes in it. Its flouncier than Princess Diana's. It has no value to anyone, sentimental or otherwise, yet there is stands. An old afghan stye coat that stinks of ganga that belonged to -my- -husband-- someone somewhere along the way. Just loads of other total tat that nobody wants, and no coat hangers, and no room to hang something up even if there were some coat hangers.

Its absolute hell going to stay there. Nowhere to hang your clothes, 4 of us in all, rammed into one room even though there are other spare rooms, piles of clothes on the floor because there are no drawers, and a tiny shower room with no extractor fan because "we don't need one" even though the whole house stinks of damp and you come out feeling greasier and dirtier than when you went in

@ Nagoo: oh dear, what should I be calling it then?

I have a deal with my dad. I take things my mum offers on the condition she agrees she really doesn't need them anymore. I then discreetly discard them if not wanted. She can't chuck anything - different generation. I'm in town oncea week so some things go to the charity shops. It keeps the piece and helps keep the clutter down.

If she´s not forcing you to take it, does it really matter to you if it stays in her loft?

TattyDevine - we have the same problem. We went to stay with in-laws for a fortnight last summer - very nice of them to put us up for so long, but we had to live out of a suitcase. The wardrobe in their spare bedroom is full of their youngest son's clothes. From the 90s. He moved out more than 10 years ago.

Diddl it's just the same conversation everytime, it's just the tat is different.

Glad others are in the same boat, this makes me feel better, I am not alone .

Exactly darts "no" doesn't seem to work.

Seriously if the recorders will be useful Theas do you want them?