To wonder if MIL will EVER chuck this shit out!

[CheshireDing]

The conversation yesterday went something like this...

MIL: We have 5 recorders in our loft, do you want them for DD?

Me: No, give them to charity

MIL: But they are DH's (my Husband not hers) and when DD starts to learn the recorder you will not need to buy one

Me: I hate the sound of the recorder, most people can't play it, she will have to pick a different instrument

MIL: We have an organ of DH's too, would DD like that?

Me: No, give it to the charity shop. I don't want the organ, musical instruments have probably moved on a bit since the 80's, I don't want the 5 recorders, by the time she might want a recorder they will have been in your loft 35 years fgs, chuck them out

MIL: Do you want a lawn mower? We have 2 in our loft?

Me: No, I have one.

Also wanted to say "why the fuck are there 2 lawn mowers in your loft when (a) you have a garage (b) you don't have any grass?"

She said she is doing an itinerary of shit in the loft for DH to say if he wants, DH has been telling her since we initially moved abroad to chuck it out. I have told him he needs to go, take the tat and then throw it away himself. Please tell me I am not alone in this tat-offering-infested-hell-hole.

There must be a hoarding gene. My mother was a hoarder, as was my grandpa, as is my husband, and my daughter is shaping up that way. I am not, nor was my Dad, and nor is my son.

It took us weeks to clear Mum's house. Sadly most of the stuff kept was complete tat - 30 year old catalogues, old envelopes, 40 year old magazines - you may get the picture. We had to go through it all carefully because among all that stuff was quite a bit of money squirrelled away in jars, 'just in case'.

Other stuff, having been kept for the better part of 60 odd years, would have been good if it had been used and enjoyed, but had now deteriorated and was only fit for the recycling/council tip. What a waste - and the complete opposite of what was intended i.e. keeping it back 'for best'.

With my husband - much the same sort of stuff (20 year old papers, receipts etc., garage full of crap things which might come in, might get fixed on day, - compare with Mum above) are part of him which I don't understand (apparently).

Now me:I enjoy a trip to the tip/recycling - I feel the need for a sort out coming on. Have I ever regretted throwing anything out? Almost never.

I think it's a generational thing. FIL seems unable to throw anything away and is constantly trying to palm off his unwanted tat on us. I am very good at saying no, and when he tries the hard sell (which he does every time) I ask him, if it's so good, why doesn't he want to keep it? Which usually shuts him up.

Agree with the posters saying that all this stuff was probably relatively expensive when they bought it, is why they don't want to throw it away...

BUT there is an added factor - for their generation, housing space was relatively cheap.

Whereas nowadays, we are the other way round, cheap stuff imported from China but housing space ridiculously expensive. For us, an extra bedroom is far too pricey to be used for storing junk.

My parents live in a 4-bed house with the mortgage paid off, and no kids at home any more. So no loss to them to stuff it to the rafters with crap...!

P.S. Grandpa lived through two wars when things were short so needed to save things, so has some excuse. Mum lived through a war so had an excuse also. Husband, daughter - not lived through wars, so what excuse have they. (But you don't need an excuse according to daughter and I lack sentiment, I am told.)

It's not just generational though Boulevard - see my posts above!

Selks I think you will find the 22 ball gown was given to a child for dressing up - surely she would have broken her neck trying to wear it!? and furthermore from memory it was certainly too big for the child's Mother to wear (think she was a size 10 or something).

So I wasn't being nasty

ChesireDing - thank you! I'm a 12 actually :o Well right now I'm a 38 weeks pregnant whale! And yes, DD is 2 and although tall for her age, would fall over if wearing the delightful puffball sleeve of that ball dress!

Selks it's a big thread, don't look for things to be offended by!

Adversecamber Can't believe you posted this around dinner time, I've just boaked in my mouth a bit...That is bad! I'm no hoarder, but I do still have DD's umbilical stump

somewhere in MIL's house is a mummified turd that she hooked out of her Dad's commode just after he died and put in a ziplock bag

You're joking, aren't you? Please tell me you're joking!

(They really could do with a vomit smiley on MN, couldn't they?)

Adversecamber, that has got to be the most revolting thing I've ever heard.

Adversecamber Why on earth would your MIL save a sh*t from her dead father???!!!!!!

We get this from both my MIL and my GMIL. It's so infuriating. The worst thing is that they are disappointed/hurt when we won't take the pointless tat off their hands. We've realised now that the best thing to do is to thank them, take the stuff home and put it straight in the bin. Worked really well until GMIL popped around unexpectedly and spotted the broken bedside table she'd given us waiting on the kerb for the binmen...

Ah yes, smallmole - she only found you out because you didn't take your own advice and put it straight in the bin! Waiting for the binmen is too risky - best to go straight to the tip and then it's gone.

That's what I have to do - otherwise stuff gets retrieved from the bin.
There seems to be no way of curing a hoarder.

Many moons ago my Great Uncle asked a family member to look at his fridge which he felt was broken. Said family member examined the fridge and it was indeed broken. He asked my Great Uncle if he wanted help buying a new one to which my Great Uncle replied that is was fine, he had one 'put by' just in case. And sure enough, in the corner of the kitchen was a fridge, still in its box, of exactly the same vintage as the broken one....... He'd bought them both in a sale 2o years before......

I have trained my MIL to chuck stuff out. (not bin, but wherever is appropriate like chartiy shop/eBay etc). She now enjoys having a good purge.

She regularly informs me proudly that when she "departs", I will be able to sort her house out easily.

Exactly, LaV. Why didn't we follow our own advice? Fools. She was NOT happy. Didn't stop her giving us a carrier bag full of pages torn off her daily calendar 'to use as scrap paper'. Thankfully the recycling was due to be collected the next day...

and my favourite quote of the day goes to LucyGoose?.

"Adversecamber Why on earth would your MIL save a sh*t from her dead father???!!!!!!"

This will make me chuckle and the most inappropriate times now.