To wonder why MN has turned into such a bitch fest recently.

[Lucy88]

I have been coming on MN on and off for about 2 years and have always found it to be very useful for reading others advice and asking others for advice, reading reviews and getting holiday advice. There will always be times when people will disagree or not like other peoples advice, but I have been truly shocked recently at some of the posts I have read.

I am quite an outspoken person (in real life), but do try to adhere to the mantra of 'Don't put anything online that you would not be prepared to say to anyones face' but OMG even I have been surprised at the amount of bitchy, nasty responses some people have received on here recently.

I know that it is difficult when communicating just through the written word, as there is no body language or intonation to always give the correct message, but some posters really do think it is ok to be really nasty and make personal comments. Name calling seems to be the 'in thing' at the moment and I have to admit, that I just don't get it - not from grown women.

The majority of people who make these types of comments, probably wouldn't dare to say these things to people's faces, but think it is perfectly ok to do it online.

Can we at least have a week where we think about what we post and if we can't post anything constructive and polite, then perhaps don't post at all.

Yup.

It's just like being back at school.

But with more swearing

This is really interesting. I am very new to MN. With a 9 week old baby, I thought I would log on and see what help/advice/entertainment I would get. I've genuinely been shocked by the things that people have said to each other. Maybe I'm opening the wrong threads...

OP, I have not read all of this thread, but I agree. I asked a similar question recently on a cookery thread of all things, as a MNer had just arrived mid thread to make personal abusive remarks about the chef under discussion. I cannot understand why anyone goes onto a thread in which they are obviously not interested, just wanting the opportunity to be unpleasant. I was told by that MNer to get the stick from out of my arse!

Sadly this type of personal abuse seems to be acceptable now, although it has to be said that I have had some really lovely support and advice from lots of people on MN. I just hope that they remain in the majority.

I think there are some nasty bitches, and spiteful little posters who can't wait to jump down people's necks and misinterpret their posts on MN. But, as I've said before, you get these saddos on every forum. Even my own neighbourhood forum, which used to be a great source of information and communal moaning about bins not being collected and dogs left out barking at night, got invaded by would be smart arses jeering at innocent posts and bossy prefect types 'instructing' people to complain to the management company and not on the forum about such trivial matters.
Some people just lose the run of themselves behind the annonymity of a pseudonym. I don't think MN is any worse than other forums, tbh.

Full moon and 3 months of winter gloom.

Can I just say, although I may be teaching my grandmother to suck eggs, if you are reading lots of unpleasant posts you should try and report them.
Mn won't always be able to act but if someone is posting personal abuse then they can delete and may ban the poster.

Jusfloatingby: "Bossy prefect types"

I don't troll hunt. I don't ignore bullying and nasty post and try to say if I think people are out of order. but I try to report because otherwise it just feels like wading through shit.

There are some really nasty fuckers on here at the moment.

I guess trolling and being excessively bitchy are not really that far apart. Some posters thrive on negative attention and just love the drama.

I don't think MN is any worse now than it has ever been. Trolls and bitches have been ever present and probably will continue to be so. At least they make it interesting.

Look at the moon -> -> and up

You haven't been on it that long, then, Redbindy. IMO.

Do you think trolls and bitches make the site interesting? Is that a mainstream view?

I find there are some really downright nasty women on here who are ready to jump down anyone's throat if they have a different opinion. Unfortunately it's always the regulars who have the same opinions on matters and this can result in patronising and bullying in posts.

I have been a regular on mumsnet for a long time now and am a regular on other sensitive threads, but the amount of psychoanalysis and name calling that goes on in AIBU is just uncalled for.

Justine! You see - this is what it takes to lure you on to the boards these days

I'd like to apologise unreservedly to FanjoForTheMammaries for my behaviour yesterday. I was extremely childish and it played on my mind for quite a while, so I knew I had done something wrong. I was indeed a hypocrite. I am offering no excuses for my unnecessary and immature comments.

I am not sure who I am today, but the moon has nothing to do with it. I would not like to be treated the way I treated Fanjo She did not deserve it.

Fanjo, I am sorry

Accepted :)

I have found that more and more posters are finessing a level of continuous unpleasantness just below the reporting threshold.

I don't mind strong words and opinions and I think it's sometimes justified to have a go at someone or close them down with a sarcastic comment.

I don't think AIBU should go. It can be bloody great! Really funny or really insightful.

In fact it has already calmed down this morning and there are some interesting threads again.

The attention seeking posters who start several threads a day, who trample and roam all over AIBU derailing and showing off are PITA I admit but if you hide those threads and don't engage, Mumsnet life is sweet!

"The attention seeking posters who start several threads a day, who trample and roam all over AIBU derailing and showing off are PITA I admit but if you hide those threads and don't engage, Mumsnet life is sweet!"

It's a pity we can't find a way round the derailing, though; especially because that happens in other sections, not just AIBU. There are always plenty of posters who are interested in continuing the debate which is being derailed; if only the interested posters could take themselves off to a place where they wouldn't be tediously followed by the derailers, it would be really good.

Everlong, you are right about getting off on it. It's a form of wanking.

Just below the reporting threshold is right too.

Pleased for fanjo & boomerwang (trying not to be a patronising toad).

Echo that, AIBU shouldnt go for the sake of a few poisonous people.

Directness and a bit of shooting down are fine if it is in the context of a decent and respectful debate, IMO its the only way to make other people think about their views and consider changing them.

People will always have extreme views and care about trivial stuff in AIBU but telling OP 'you are a twat/get a grip/grow up' is a waste of energy. OP will get hackles up/flounce off/ feel justified in opinion/be too upset to consider another view.

You get it everywhere though. I spent five years on BMC. I suppose i don't notice it so much these days because i tend not to look at the whole MN site (I'd be here all day) and invest emotionally in it like i did with the Badmums. I think you just get hardened to it naturally and remember it's not Real Life!

I'm sick of seeing the word Cunt though. Sigh.